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I was on my mission about 16 years ago and I was experiencing some depression. My mom was working with my doctor back home to get me some medication, but I prayed about it and received a priesthood blessing and felt that I should not get meds. I thought I could get by without it and I let my mom know that. Then my mission president call me and said, “Elder, you get on that medication.” It was a very important decision to make, so I asked him if he was speaking as my priesthood leader or just giving his opinion. He got upset and told me he doesn’t appreciate being questioned like that.
So I did as he said. I remember feeling relieved because my priesthood leader made the decision for me and the burden was lifted off my shoulders. Now I see how twisted that is.
I’ve been on all sorts of meds since then. I wish I had never tried them. It could be that I really needed them and they have helped me, but I’m pretty sure I would be better off today without them. I probably have
tardive dysphoriaI once had faith to be healed. I believed a miracle could occur. Instead, I’ve lived 16 years with deteriorating quality of life. Meds are not the sole cause, but they have made me feel only half alive much of the time, like I am part zombie. I am often aloof and don’t connect with my wife. All of my relationships and everything in my life have been affected in a negative way.
It is said that some medications are miraculous and a blessing from God. I say pills that may cause nausea, agitation, sexual dysfunction, drowsiness, insomnia, weight gain or loss, headache, vomiting, diarrhea, suicidal thoughts, and permanent depression are lousy miracles.
It seems that I’m being told, “Miracles have ceased, so just shut up and take your pills!” I don’t know if the speaker is God, the universe, nature, or myself.
I am very frustrated and feeling hopeless. Is this my fault? Should I have following what I perceived to be spiritual promptings rather than listening to my mission president? Have miracles ceased?
Hi Shawn, I am very sorry for the hard road that you have walked. I do not believe that I fully understand it but I know that you do and that your experience is true.
On a more intelectual level I see how many medications could be viewed as “Godsends” or “miracles”. Yet you are correct that they often have side-effects. That I believe is part of life more often than not. What we might call miracles (or perhaps the uniquely Mormon term “tender mercies”) do not remove pain and suffering – they just help us to cope with it.
Having said that, not all medication is helpful for everybody and careful decisions must sometimes be made in consultation with medical professionals.
I can’t offer specific advice, but I am sorry for your emotional pain and the side-effects of the meds. It has to be hard. Roy wrote:On a more intelectual level I see how many medications could be viewed as “Godsends” or “miracles”.
Yes, many drugs/medications are awesome. My thoughts on meds in this thread apply only to SSRIs and SNRIs. I do not doubt that they have helped people, and I used to believe they are good for me. Now I think doctors need to be more careful about prescribing them and long-term use should be rare.Medicating the populace prevents revolutions from happening. Chemical imbalances are real but so is the poisonous system and environment which helps make many people ill(er) in the first place. Before anyone cries houha I’m on anti-depressants myself. The side effects are annoying – the idea of popping pills for the rest of my life is… depressing. I’m off alcohol, never going to smoke or take illegal drugs but I’m now physically dependent on something which doesn’t even have recreational value.
Medicating millions means fat profits for some people, and the diminishing of social will to deal with (among other things):
* Poverty and crime
* Cultural sterility.
* Materialism.
* Architectural and town planning disasters.
* Food additives and environmental contaminants.
* Toxic work place practices.
* Breakdown of community
* Political corruption and complicity
* Educational mistakes
I hesitate to do this, but I am going to add a careful Admin Note to this thread: We are NOT qualified to offer advice or counsel on specific medications. We can offer support and general advice about examining all options and doing whatever is best for each person, and, I believe, we can support the use of medication in many cases without pushing for the use of medication in all cases. We also can oppose the idea that more faith, extra prayers, etc. can solve all issues and cure all illnesses and conditions – which is patently untrue.
Love you, friend. I agree totally that letting others make all of our decisions for us is not a good idea. I believe deeply that issues requiring special attention and possibly medication are complex and should be considered from all angles – and that nothing should be excluded in the name of exercising more faith. I also believe that medication is not the answer for all people with all issues and that we over-medicate in our current society.
However, we have under-medicated in many cases for a long, long time – and there still is social stigma against proper medication in too many situations.
Having said all of that, I hope you can find something that works for you – whatever that is and whatever that entails.
God bless you, friend.
Hi, Shawn – I have so little to offer, but I just want to thank you for the bestthread title of the year. I love reading your thoughts. My family is rife with mental illness and my empathetic heart goes out to you. The longer we’ve each striven with our peculiar problems the better the ratio of good days to bad. Shawn wrote:
Yes, many drugs/medications are awesome. My thoughts on meds in this thread apply only to SSRIs and SNRIs. I do not doubt that they have helped people, and I used to believe they are good for me. Now I think doctors need to be more careful about prescribing them and long-term use should be rare.Shawn, I think you nailed it with this perspective. My mother-in-law died from a prescription drug overdose about 4 years ago. She had been on way too many prescriptions with way too little supervision for a long time. Long-term use of medications is sometimes the only option, but doctors need to be very careful with it. I agree that there should be more oversight with prescriptions, because my mother-in-law was going to multiple doctors and getting multiple prescriptions. She had been a nurse, so she knew exactly how to abuse the system to get what she wanted.
On the other hand, my wife spent months in a behavioral clinic due to suicidal tendencies and major depression, while the doctors tried to find a mixture of medications that would help. They were finally able to get her balanced out between the medications and therapy. But until the medications started to kick in and help, the therapy did absolutely nothing. When the source of the depression is biological, medications can be the only solution. The medications definitely saved my wife’s life.
I think you’re spot on when you say that long-term use should be rare. Sometimes long-term use is necessary, but doctors should look for alternative treatments to help their patients come off of the drugs
when it’s possible. Medications can be a pretty slippery slope. It takes a good doctor, and a lot of oversight to really manage the situation correctly. Not having any oversight can be deadly, but when prescribed correctly meds can save lives. I wish you the best in finding the right balance! Holy Cow: I see two separate things going on here.
One — Where is my miracle?
When we want something so badly, and we plead with God with full belief and righteousness, where is the miracle? We are told that pure belief, faith, and righteousness will bring miracles. Church really pushes the belief that we can move mountains if we have enough faith. I have seen faith like that, and the mountain did not move.
Years ago, I ran an ICU on nights. We had a young Muslim mom from India who was dying of cancer. Her family believed that she would be healed because of their devout faith. She eventually started to die. We ran a full code on her for a very long time. Her family was there. They asked us not to stop, they were waiting for the miracle. They believed the miracle would happen. It did not. I have never seen such raw shock. This family’s faith was complete. Many would call that faith delusional. They would call that family out of touch with reality. I would agree. It was also the purest faith I have ever seen.
Science and religion clash constantly. Eventually, science wins. Every time . It is hard to argue with multiple studies and independent research. But before science wins, there is strife and angst and calls for miracles.
People with Tourette’s Syndrome used to be burned as being possessed by demons. We now see it as a movement disorder. Science won. Mental health issues are now being seen as chemical imbalances instead of spiritual issues. Science wins again. It becomes a difficulty when not everyone in the conversation has been converted to sciencific causes of a particular issue. When half the room see something as spiritual, and the other half sees a scientific reason for the issue, there isnt going to be consensus.
Two — The second part of this is why don’t the meds work better? So many variables come into the chemistry. The one that I have been following is the correlation between depression meds and Viramin D. A couple recent studies have shown that meds don’t work if vitamin D levels are low. And when vitamin D levels were normalized, 30% of the depressed study population didn’t need meds at all. I find that fascinating.
I do believe in miracles. I also believe in science. In my world, miracles are small and are more about giving small pieces of comfort. For every amazing healing out of 300,000 patients, there were 299,999 who were not healed. Why should I deserve to be the 1 healing? I don’t. We don’t. Miraculous healings are random and unrelated to how righteous we are. They are not earned. Usually, we are part of the 299,999. That is where we get enough experience to learn compassion and empathy. That is where we grow. And personally, I hate those learning opportunities.
amateurparent wrote:Holy Cow:
Miraculous healings are random and unrelated to how righteous we are. They are not earned. Usually, we are part of the 299,999. That is where we get enough experience to learn compassion and empathy. That is where we grow. And personally, I hate those learning opportunities.
This is where I stand right now. I no longer “expect a miracle”. I don’t rule them out either. But I don’t expect them. You will never see me in shock like the Indian family AP described earlier.
I find that when I exercise faith in a specific outcome, I feel like I am sucking air through a straw. It feels empty, and it’s often a recipe for doubt and disappointment. Much better to prepare for all eventualities, adapt to the ones that occur through risk management.
I feel for Shawn’s plight. And find the Mission President’s negative reaction to being asked if he was opining as a priesthood leader or as a man. He should have answered that question with a much better attitude than Shaw described.
There are times when our priesthood leaders show so little faith, it’s doubt-creating in all the truth claims of our religion. Been there, on non-medical issues.
AP & SD: I hope my post didn’t sound like I believe people should ask for miracles over medication. I’m the last person who would sit and wait for a miracle. When I say that medications shouldn’t always be a long-term solution, I mean that doctors should try to look for other alternatives for treating a patient when possible, rather than relying solely on medication. I get sick of the pill-pushing when there could be other things that could help a patient. I respect people’s faith in blessings and prayer and such, but I wouldn’t forgo medical help waiting for a miracle to happen.
I don’t think it is either miracles or medication, one or the other. Medications are apart of our world now. Miracles, revelation, inspiration around those medications and other things in our world may still happen if you have faith.
Perhaps meds served some purpose in your life for some time, Shawn, but perhaps with side effects or dependencies or now they are no longer needed. Perhaps the new miracle is getting off them and having a clear mind and more knowledge of your condition to avoid continuing on meds that you shouldn’t be on now.
Miracles cease when faith is gone. Faith is defining miracles.
Don’t blame God for not fixing it, or for fixing it then not like the residual. God will help those who help themselves. You can move forward and find your path to peace. I don’t believe you are beholden to a mission president’s opinions from 16 years ago. You can only learn from it and move forward. Perhaps you learn you are pissed off, or sad about your condition, and that you won’t ever let another priesthood leader tell you what is right for you that you want the personal revelation, whether he appreciates you questioning what he thinks is revelation or not. God wants you to be in charge of you. You can do this, buddy!
And when the SSRIs and SNRIs don’t work, verify your vitamin D level is good. If that checks out, check out the old tricyclics like anafranil. Meds don’t solve everything. They are a tool that can sometimes, for some people, help in some ways. amateurparent wrote:Meds don’t solve everything. They are a tool that can sometimes, for some people, help in some ways.
Amen
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