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My daughter got her patriarchal blessing recently. Interestingly, she did it without asking us about it — she did her own investigation, determined the process and just did it. She wasn’t hiding anything, or keeping it from us — it was just the way she did it. We found out the day before it was scheduled she was having it done.
We never even thought about accompanying her. And before anyone judges — remember, I was the only member in my family when I got mine. I went alone or with a friend, so it didn’t even occur to me that it was a big deal — nor did it occur to my daughter.
Patriarch REALLY CHEWED HER OUT for not having her family there…another story…
Afterwards, we read it together.
In a fully orthodox family, what are some of the protocols and traditions surrounding the “receiving” of a patriarchal blessing?
I am a convert. I went with a friend all those years ago to get mine, but the friend invited himself – I was planning to go alone. I would bet the traditions associated with the PB in the Corridor are probably different that they are here. Here it seems to be a special parent/child event. That is, the parents accompany the child and are present for the blessing itself and any other counsel given by the patriarch. FWIW, I only went to my youngest son’s, I was inactive and disinterested when the others got theirs. I’m not really all that into PBs anyway. SilentDawning wrote:
In a fully orthodox family, what are some of the protocols and traditions surrounding the “receiving” of a patriarchal blessing?It seems that a common tradition is that parents attend the receiving of a patriarchal blessing. However, this varies by stake. My stake patriarch leaves it completely up to the person whether or not parents are invited and says nothing if the recipient comes alone. I haven’t heard that parents commonly have a copy of their children’s blessings and I know only a small number of people who have read their parent’s blessings. Fasting before the blessing and special meals after the blessing seem uncommon, but I know that they happen. It seems that an informal “interview” of the recipient by the patriarch beforehand isn’t uncommon either.
Also the counsel seems to be that the receipient should be around the age of 14-17 (although 12-18 seems not uncommon). Too young and the recipient doesn’t really understand or appreciate it but too old and many life decisions are already made and the blessing isn’t as “useful.”
My daughter is 17 and has had a patriarchal recommend for at least 2 years sitting on her dresser. I’m not sure the cause of the ambivalence. It could be that she simply prefers to not talk to people on the telephone (she strongly prefers texting) or it could be that she doubts the inspired nature of blessings in general or it could be that she thinks our patriarch is an old codger (which he is).
When she first got the recommend she was angry with me and her mother and loudly announced in front of the family that we weren’t invited. My wife and I both acted the wrong way and got upset with that. I’ve calmed down and I respect her more and if she wants to go without me I don’t think my feelings would be hurt for long.
My PB was vague at best and contained more about what I had done in the pre-exist then anything helpful to my current life. Filled with generalities, leaving me to figure out pretty much everything. I expected a PB to talk about talents or skills you have, some events you could expect happening, you know like useful life planning information. Little of any sort. Feels bit like a let down, especially since I recall my parents mentioning more in my siblings PBs, I think. A lot of mine’s fulfilled – going to the temple etc But still not married…
My oldest two sons seem to have bypassed this. My oldest son didn’t want to do his in Singapore, and we lived there from his age 15-18, so those were the prime PB years. At my urging, my second son got a recommend for it. Then our patriarch had to cancel his appointment for health (last year) and then he died. And now my son’s not that interested (he probably wasn’t in the first place, but was appeasing me). I would think my daughter will want hers, but she is more engaged with the YW. When I got mine, my parents came along. The patriarch was our bishop when I was 3-5 years old, so he was known to us already, a great guy. We went fasting, and our patriarch’s tradition was that he would bake a pie for us to all break our fast with after the blessing. It was a great experience.
One thing that surprised me in a poll I did at W&T is that 47% of those polled still said their PB experience was one of the highlights of their religious upbringing, even now that they are much older (in most cases).
I love mine. Sure, there are a lot of things that could be seen as obvious due to knowing me and my uniqueness, but there are a handful of things that I can’t explain away logically. I don’t take the lineage thing literally, since I see it as a symbolic adoption, but I do like the concept of a symbolic adoption. My wife sees hers much the same way I see mine.
I also believe some Patriarchs are more visionary / revelatory than others, so Patriarchal Blessings reflect that. I see it as a different manifestation of roulette, without as much negative potential as is the case with Bishops, Stake Presidents, Relief Society Presidents, etc.
I recieved my PB while living overseas as a kid. We had it officially translated by the church so that I would have official copies on both languages. My PB doesn’t have any warnings and very little advice .. It’s maybe half a page long. Essentially says I one of God’s favorites. The end. My DH had hands placed on his head and the Patriarch stopped and cried for 10 minutes before continuing. Three pages of rambling commentary and warnings. Promises that have not happened. Our two PB that are so very different .. Yet the two of us are linked and very much together on the same life path.
So many of the people on the site know my DH. I assume the majority of you have figured out the connection. He is so devote, so studied, and so kind. To think that his PB is the one with warnings … SMH.
Our youngest DD wants to get hers. Bishop interview is this Sunday. She is excited.
I have not looked at mine in over a decade. It causes me to lose faith. It seems that really nothing inspiring was said in it. I may take another peek at it soon, but I will wait until I am feeling rather good.
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