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Hi! I guess this is the point where I can introduce myself huh? Well I’m a mid twenties kid that has been, not struggling with beliefs in the church per say, just struggling in general. I was very very active until I started traveling for work, traveling with non-mormons, and though I’ve had a wonderful time just sight seeing and all, I’ve also had a hard time staying active and strong in the church, and its led to me drinking again. I guess I mainly came here to try and connect with some LDS people. Howdy Gingerbat! Thanks for stopping by. What have been some interesting travel spots for you??
Welcome! Looking forward to hearing more from you and about you.
I’ve stayed state side, but all up and down the east coast has been a blast! Virginia was my favorite. But put me near an ocean, and I’ll be happy with life ha Welcome. This is a safe place and there are good people here. You say you started drinking again, indicating you have struggled with the WoW before. What did you do then to overcome your challenges?
FWIW, I generally think that most of the old married guys who are bishops and stake presidents have no clue what it’s like to be young, single, and LDS today.
Young, single, LDS and divorced, and I didn’t serve a mission, so my chances in the mormon dating pool are either sink, or just get out it feels like. I fell away from the church around 16, and began taking the wrong roads. I started going back to church shortly after my divorce, and stayed pretty good, even got my priesthood reestablished. However I didn’t take an account that with my new job, and brewing dark thoughts, my loneliness would take me to new rock bottoms. So I’m trying to at least conquer the loneliness part someone.
Back then I had a good friend to support me, and keep me focused on what’s right. But we don’t speak anymore, practically estranged from one another at this point Gingerbat wrote:However I didn’t take an account that with my new job, and brewing dark thoughts, my loneliness would take me to new rock bottoms.
Hi, Gingerbat:wave: We’re glad you’re here. It’s a safe and supportive place, so feel free to share. It might have been someone here who recently quoted J.K. Rowling, and your comment brought it to mind:
Quote:“Rock bottom became the
solid foundationon which I rebuilt my life.”
I never thought of it that way. Good luck as you journey on and rebuild.Welcome. Looking forward to learning more about you, and how our perspectives may be able to help each other…Welcome! Welcome! Most of our discussions here are about things that cause us to struggle in the Church and attempts to help each other find solutions, one way or another.
In that light, have you tried something like Alcoholics Anonymous? Also, you mentioned dark throughputs. Are you prone to clinical depression or something similar? If so, have you sought and/or gotten counseling or some other kind of help.
We embrace all kinds of ways to cope with issues, and there is NO stigma here about any of the things I mentioned above and more.
Finally, I often recommend reading through our archives to see if anything from the past resonates and helps in some way – but I might not suggest that if you don’t really struggle with doctrinal things. Much of our stuff focuses on that sort of thing, and you don’t need to dig into that if you aren’t prone to be bothered greatly by those things. Perhaps, for you, sufficient unto tomorrow (or next year or never) are the doctrinal discussions we have here.
Gingerbat wrote:Young, single, LDS and divorced, and I didn’t serve a mission, so my chances in the mormon dating pool are either sink, or just get out it feels like.
I fell away from the church around 16, and began taking the wrong roads. I started going back to church shortly after my divorce, and stayed pretty good, even got my priesthood reestablished. However I didn’t take an account that with my new job, and brewing dark thoughts, my loneliness would take me to new rock bottoms. So I’m trying to at least conquer the loneliness part someone.
I think many YSA Mormons are lonely, especially outside the Mormon Corridor. I think that’s a huge problem and you epitomize why. Are you attending church? Do you have any friends at church?
Friends, no. I’ve lost all my friends since I began to travel. And its been awhile since I’ve attended. Once I started drinking I didn’t really feel I belonged Quote:Once I started drinking I didn’t really feel I belonged.
That is one of the worst parts of our traditional culture (the feeling of not belonging if your life doesn’t fit the generally taught ideal) – and it is cultural, not doctrinal.
You belong. We all belong. I can’t remember which apostle said it, but I love the statement that we aren’t living our religion fully if we can’t smell alcohol and tobacco in our meetinghouses. That doesn’t mean we want people to be drinking or smoking there; it means we are loving and accepting of those who do and embrace them as they are.
If you want to attend, please don’t let your drinking keep you away. I believe firmly that the vast majority of members would accept you, regardless – especially if they knew you were struggling but wanting to be there. There are too many who would react badly, but most would want you there.
I agree with Ray’s point about coming as you are. One of my favorite Stake Presidents said he would post ashtrays outside of every entrance if he needed to in order for members to understand that everyone is welcome. At any rate, welcome to the site. I’ve actually been wondering if lowering the mission age might not have the opposite effect in some ways. I wonder if not going on a mission might become more common and less of a stigma now that the age is 18. We’ll see how it turns out, but so many go and come home early that it seems there is a sea change underway.
I also agree with Ray. You don’t have to wear a sign that says “I drink” on it – no one but you has to know. That same quote Ray talked about was mentioned in SS this week and I hadn’t heard it before. Two prompts in three days makes me think I might need to go find it. For now I’ll stick with Uchtdorf’s note of lack of signs saying your testimony must be this tall to enter and his idea about church being a repair shop, not a showroom (despite what some might want it to look like).
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