- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Some of you know that the trigger for my commitment crisis in the church was how I felt our leaders took my service for granted. Fast forward three to five years. Disaffection took over — I got involved in the community since church service became monotonous and boring and without appreciation. I saw community service as an equally valid form of priesthood service, and service to humanity. And there too — in two community organizations, I eventually couldn’t help but feel taken for granted. Stunning behavior from leaders that showed utter disrespect for the time invested in helping them. I’ve seen them treat volunteers (not only myself) in callous ways. In some ways, worse than in the church. But it was easier to take it in this organizations; they made no claims to divine authority, or Christ at its head. Some didn’t even have published values.
I have discovered that all organizations, unless they make it a value or top priority to really love and appreciate the sacrifices volunteers make, take their volunteers for granted. I saw it in the first non-profit I joined. I saw it in the second non-profit I joined. My mother described the same thing at a senior’s center at which she volunteers.
And now, I see local government doing the same thing to an entire organization of volunteers. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this, as it represents two things that for me, are gospel related. And from this perspective may not seem “off-mission”.
a) community service as my substitute for church service and
b) a problem I once thought was isolated to the church, but realize, it is not.
I started a Farmers’ Market 8 months ago with a very hardworking volunteer (she is inspiring to work with — I can’t keep up to her sometimes). We rely on a government-managed park to rent us space, and all proceeds go to the community. It’s been a huge success attracting thousands of people over a 4 hour period, up from only a few hundred initially. An entire community is behind it.
My partner came back from a meeting the other day with new demands from the park management (which in my view, treat us as unpaid employees of their organization, not customers who rent space and pay front-line insurance). As a result, we are now launching a political effort to make the local government parks people stop taking our volunteer service for granted. I won’t go into details, but our entire Board of Directors is about to launch a letter-writing campaign, while putting pressure on our local elected representative to encourage a different perspective from our local parks department’s leaders. I am in the center of it, although I’m not the instigator. There is a wave of support initiating it that I didn’t incite.
I saw this “taking for granted” attitude from Day 1, when others didn’t. But I said nothing at that time, I had realized it is common to all organizations. I also believed I might be slightly oversensitive to “grantedness syndrome” given my previous church problem — I thought I may have been amplifying it since no one else seemed to care. But now, it has gotten so extreme, there is widespread indignation in our community and talented, activist-oriented people have gotten involved.
It is cathartic, in a way. We don’t have formal channels for expressing our unhappiness in the church, but in secular settings, we do. And we have representation we can kick out of office if they don’t see that government acts within its mandate — to serve the people who support it financially.
As a result of my life’s experiences, I believe that certain, time-honored principles in the Christian gospel need qualification. Giving without expecting anything in return is a good principle — but it has limitations. One should always expect civility. One should establish boundaries. Being a servant doesn’t mean we are without the right to assert ourselves. You can serve selflessly, but without surrender.
Even Christ has expectations if we are to benefit from his sacrifice — we must repent. The blessings associated with his service are NOT unconditional.
As leaders, it takes a concerted effort and personal reminders about the sacrifices people make — to prevent organizational imperatives from eclipsing individual needs.
It’s so easy to take your most dedicated people for granted. The tendency is for organizations to view its members as servants/staff for the organization’s naked interests, when really, the organization is there to serve its members. And organizations (their leaders) sometimes need to be reminded they are there to serve their members too , and not a one-sided focus on organizational interests.
I’m not advocating a movement within the church, but I am saying that individuals have every right to place boundaries on their service, and to expect basic things from the organizations they serve and interact with. And that includes the church.
How you go about doing that is another matter. But I will say this – when I return to church service some day, I will have no compunction about putting conditions on my service when I am called. No more will there be callings with no end-date or exit points if I need them. Stake leaders will know this if they are involved in calling me, and if they consider it too hard for them, I simply won’t accept the calling. I won’t tolerate situations where leaders forget we are volunteers, and engage with us as if we are employees. I faced those situations, like when HC ripped on me about low-hometeaching numbers once.
I have experienced all these things, and will assert myself. For the good of the organization.
I wanted to get this out. How we actually go about asserting ourselves is yet another tale, but it is one I would welcome thoughts upon,
SD: I used to volunteer extensively within the community. At one point, I was on multiple local, county, and state boards for a variety of organizations. Then I started noticing a trend. As I got into the higher echelons of an organization, the paid staff would cherry-pick all the activities and jobs that they found fun and fulfilling. In board meetings, they would talk about some boring bit of grunt work that needed to be done, and state, “Oh, we’ll get some volunteer to do that.” I started to see my volunteer work as less of a needed service and more of just a abuse of my time.
This isn’t true of all organizations .. But it is true of enough organizations that I am much more careful about where I put my time.
Church volunteer work is more about simple division of labor. Less drama. Less abuse.
SD: Pretty amazing to read about your efforts with the Farmers Market. What a success story. You must have some killer organizational skills
amateurparent wrote:SD:
Pretty amazing to read about your efforts with the Farmers Market. What a success story. You must have some killer organizational skills
What I know about SD, I look up to him.Thanks for the kudos above…I appreciate it. amateurparent wrote:SD:
Church volunteer work is more about simple division of labor. Less drama. Less abuse.
I agree with the drama part. The teaching, training, and emulation of Christ keeps people from many untoward activities like backbiting, etcetera — most of the time.
Regarding abuse…I think it depends how you define that term. For me, the abuse (which I will soften by calling “taking for granted”) is at least as bad in the church as it is in the community. At least in the community, we have term limits and
optionsto go for multiple terms in board positions. In the community, you can serve on your own terms, and if you decide not to go for a second term, you can do so, without breaking any “unwritten rules”. You also get more choice about where you serve, and if you quit, you can simply fade away from the organization. You don’t have a web of family relationships tied to it, as you do in the church, which is assumed to be a lifelong commitment. I also think that in the church we rely on “inspiration” and a lot of teaching about how to be a “good Mormon” to get the commitment we need from volunteers. But this is a top-down, outside-in approach. I think there is a better way.
In the beginning of my experiment with community-based volunteerism, I found there was massive turnover on committees. I would orient volunteers, and they would quit. Turnover was about 40% and unfulfilled assignments were rampant.
Then I learned how to interview prospective volunteers, how to unveil their passions and talents, and how to give people opportunities to use those talents in a way that helped the organization. I also learned how to determine just how much time I could expect from the volunteers, and to provide them with service opportunities that matched their time and commitment. The approach led to a huge improvement in retention of volunteers as well as far fewer deflated hopes on my part.
I owe it to this book right here. I wish our leaders in SLC and at the local level, would read it.
http://www.amazon.com/New-Breed-Understanding-Equipping-Volunteer/dp/0764486195/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1432647280&sr=8-1&keywords=The+new+breed+of+volunteer ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.amazon.com/New-Breed-Understanding-Equipping-Volunteer/dp/0764486195/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1432647280&sr=8-1&keywords=The+new+breed+of+volunteer Fast forward a couple years — to last month. Our new Bishop calls me in and says “we need an Executive Secretary and when I pray, your name comes to mind”.
Based on the “art” I had been learning, this seemed like a stark example of the kind of organizational egocentricity that has bothered me in the church. Based on my personal goals (I need renewed real-world business experiences to help my precarious teaching career right now, and to help my son), the prospect of endless phone calls and scheduling just didn’t turn my crank. I’m studying management, empowerment, and many other higher level leadership approaches now — the calling was simply there to fill an organizational need, a job, and it felt tedious and lacking in challenge and growth. To me, his statement that it was “inspired” was simply noise.
There was no getting to know me, getting to know my interests, my personal goals, and to seek overlap with the Ward’s needs.
In a way, they missed an opportunity to activate me. My son is a deep concern to me right now. If they put me in some kind of scouting position, or perhaps even YM’s (such as YM president)..I might have done it. I would have at least given it serious consideration. Why — because it overlaps with my individual needs. Instead, they looked at what they needed, saw someone who could do it, and tried to fill a hole. Organization first, individuals, not even second.
In our church, the teaching and training about inspiration, “the finger of the Lord pointing to specific individuals for callings” and the cultural norms about never saying no to a calling allows leaders to put bums in chairs and still get cooperation. When in many cases, it leads to non-functioning volunteers, burnout, and other undesireable outcomes.
Now, I realize some people are pliable and don’t care where they serve, but I believe that is not always the rule.
I guess I’ve gotten off track. This problem also exists in community organizations, and it took me observing all these uncommitted volunteers to realize I was doing it wrong. Our system of callings and releases, couched in strong cultural shame if you quit a calling or refuse it, doesn’t seem to provide such immediate and stark feedback as I received in my community experiment. The cultural norms mask the problem so you get half-heartedness and non-functioning from so many people, false stories about moving, and more.
SilentDawning wrote:The teaching, training, and emulation of Christ keeps people from many untoward activities like backbiting, etcetera — most of the time.
I did read a blog talking about how passive-aggressiveness is very prevalent in the church. We don’t like to be confrontational, but we can’t help but try and “influence” others. (yes – I know using “influence” was an example of being passive-aggressive)Passive aggressive behavior, in my view, is furthering your own interests without confrontation. Someone asks you to do home teaching? You say yes to get through the moment, and then don’t do it. You want out of your calling? Tell them you are moving in two weeks, and when they release you, indicate you aren’t moving anymore. It’s a non-confrontive way of getting what you want, without addressing the issue head-on.
People do it all the time to avoid cultural censure.
My DD’s bishop told her that he had prayed and felt HUGELY inspired to call her to play the piano for their ward. My daughter told him that she would be thrilled to do so … Once she learned how to play the piano. She took lessons when she was really young but eventually quit. She could play a little bit with one hand. He was stunned. She is a pretty girl. Don’t all pretty LDS girls sing and play the piano? And he had seen the abbreviation for her major. He assumed she was studying some sort of music. Nope. Engineering.
So much for inspired calling.
From my own experience: Some callings really are the result of revelation; some are inspiration; some are desperation; most are based on availability and perspective on ability.
All of those categories are highly subjective, except desperation – and even desperation can be subjective when the person making the decision thinks all their decisions are inspired to some degree.
Old-Timer wrote:From my own experience:
Some callings really are the result of revelation; some are inspiration; some are desperation; most are based on availability and perspective on ability.
And don’t forget “relations” – as in relatives.I think back on my last few times I served in Bishoprics over a few years. I can only think of one time that I felt at least a twinge of being inspired. I did usually say that “as a bishopric we have prayed and …” I always liked that better.
amateurparent wrote:My DD’s bishop told her that he had prayed and felt HUGELY inspired to call her to play the piano for their ward. My daughter told him that she would be thrilled to do so … Once she learned how to play the piano. She took lessons when she was really young but eventually quit. She could play a little bit with one hand.
He was stunned. She is a pretty girl. Don’t all pretty LDS girls sing and play the piano? And he had seen the abbreviation for her major. He assumed she was studying some sort of music. Nope. Engineering.
So much for inspired calling.
This reminds me of an excerpt from one of Max Dupree’s books on leadership. He asked an outgoing, retiring. front line salesperson (highly successful) what his fondest memories were of his time in the career. He replied “hitting my sales targets while training 8 sales managers in the process”.
His formal role wasn’t training, but he realized that the people above you are learning, and often, you are tolerating their mistakes, or providing a forum for them to learn. Often giving feedback or hints.
In my profession, I have reported to 10 different academic deans. When they are new, they always make these mistakes:
a) Assigning courses to us to teach, without consulting us.
b) Taking us off courses when we get ONE bad evaluation.
c) Requiring documented performance reviews with highly specific criteria that require significant overhead of proof — destroying all perceived trust in us.
d) Ignoring promises of their predecessors, essentially destroying our trust in the organization as a whole to keep promises.
e) Responding to, and siding with student complaints without sending the students back to us first for resolution. Inmates start running the asylum.
I have learned, after years of this, to go into a new manager proactively, and build a relationship. And then, at some point, asking if they are interested in hearing about the mistakes others have made in their position — before the new manager makes them. Most listen.
How do you train your priesthood leaders? Particularly when they are new? Or is it even our place to do this?
.
In the Church, about all I think we can do is follow LookingHard’s comment: Think and pray about it and do the best we can to try to allow inspiration / revelation to occur in cases where it might.
I think we can be more proactive than that. For example, when they take a “bums in chairs” approach to calling me to a position, I could speak up and say
“You know, I could accept that calling, but it wouldn’t be with enthusiasm. I’d be at daily risk of doing a terrible job, or asking for a release a few months later due to lack of passion and enthusiasm. And the position hits me right in my greatest areas of weakness — areas in which I have no desire to excel or grow either. I wouldn’t view it as a stretch calling — it would be drudgerous task that would make me dread coming to church every week…do we really want that?
Can I share where I might serve more enthusiastically, and for the long term? There are places in the Ward that overlap with my own personal needs for growth and the needs of family..[tell the story about my son; identify gaps in the YM program leadership, my newfound skills in turnarounds and startups and its fit with the non-existent YM program in our Ward]. …end by asking them reconsider where I my current talents and interests might be put to better use — for the sake of the ward, and my own performance and enthusiasm.
I think discovering where the talents of volunteers, and the needs of the church overlap is sound practice when calling just about anyone to a position…”
I meant when we are in positions to offer callings or seek inspiration in callings. I agree totally that we shouldn’t accept everything asked of us without question or input – and that we have to retain the right to decline. I have expressed concerns in the past about callings that I knew I wouldn’t be able to do well and asked the person to go back and think and pray about it again – and to understand that if I agreed to do it it wouldn’t be done to the level they hoped when they asked me. In one case, they asked someone else; in another case, they said they needed someone and would accept whatever I could give.
Interesting thread that goes along with this topic a bit http://www.wheatandtares.org/17449/stuck-in-a-calling/http://www.wheatandtares.org/17449/stuck-in-a-calling/” class=”bbcode_url”>
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.