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I had a question but let me tell you my situation. I work nights from 10:00 pm to 6:00 am 5 nights a week Thursday thru Monday. This is a new job for me and one that took me years to land. My problem is attending church on Sunday mornings (only time services are for my area ) I have tried without much success to attend , I usually am falling asleep not able to pay attention etc etc etc . I am just not able to do Sunday mornings and really feel guilty about it. I know at some point this job will give me a chance to change my hours (may take years) . So staying home and sleeping through church makes me feel awful !!!!!! Am I a terrible person for supporting my family ? not attending does that make me an apostate ? What to do ? These sound like questions best addressed yourself. When I was a nursery leader, one of the moms was a doctor who came to church straight off shift at the ER in her scrubs. Her husband was often a volunteer helping out in the nursery (I ran a popular nursery with lots of adult drop ins). I thought it was cool that she just came as she was since it was the only practical solution for her. She often left early to go get some sleep, but she came to take the sacrament. To me, that is the most important thing anyway. Non-attendance doesn’t make a person an apostate. The Lord looketh on the heart, but the bishop on the statistics.
jgaskill wrote:What to do ?
I’d say support your family, get the sleep you need, do your best with your meetings and don’t feel guilty. Maybe look for ways to keep a Sabbath in your circumstances. Christ says it was made for us, not the other way around. Good luck, and congratulations on the job.:thumbup: There is a time and a season for all things. Most positions expect the new guy to take the least desired shifts — nights & weekends are least desired. Only thing worse is 2pm – 10pm for a parent of school aged kiddos. Do your time, and move into a better shift. After a little time and good will, you can trade a few shifts with people. It will be fine. I worked a Saturday 24 hour shift and a Sunday night for a couple years. It was the right fit for our family at that time.
Leadership of the ward was fine with it. They understood. A couple SNL-Church-Lady-type members would make comments about “making poor professional choices”, “women should be home with their families”, or “the Lord likes us to make choices that allow us to keep His sabbath day holy”. But as a woman, those sorts have an opinion about my work status anyway — no matter what hours I am working.
Apostate has nothing to do with your work schedule.
My wife works a night shift 3 days a week and us often schedule for a Saturday or sunday. She has done it for years. She cannot do her job well if she does not sleep Sunday morning.
As President Hinckley counseled us, we need to first be responsible to our employer and career.
The night shift is hard on her but the perks are she us around for the kids more with that schedule. But she needs sleep. Sometimes church has to give for life and family. God knows your circumstance.
No, you aren’t. You aren’t fighting the Church, and that is about the only thing that would make you am apostate. You need to do whatever is best for you and your family, and only you can make that decision. Just make it considering what everyone else has said. There are some wise words in this thread.
There seem to be a couple meanings of apostate — the dictionary meaning, and the way it’s used in common LDS culture. Dictionary:“a person who forsakes his religion, cause, party, etc.”
Church CultureSomeone who not only stops practicing religion, they actively try to dissuade others from living their religion, or who attacks the church.
The Church definition doesn’t apply as I don’t see any criticism in what you are saying. Nor are you actively trying to dissuade others from the church.
And I don’t think the dictionary definition applies either as church attendance is only one aspect of embracing a religion. And you have very good reasons for putting your health, your family, and your inner peace first.
I also believe that just about everyone — GA’s, regular members — probably have ebbs and flows in their church commitment over the years. I know I have had periods when my commitment was so strong I was high profile leadership material, to times when I was so inactive people forgot about me. I don’t consider myself apostate because I still have parts of the religion I embrace. I am still a member, I encourage my family to live the gospel, and I live the Word of Wisdom and other commandments.
Even the Doctrine and Covenants indicates that unless you turn
altogetheraway from the priesthood, you still are not damned. Ultimately, we are here to pursue happiness, so you have to do what makes you happy. That will be different for everyone.
Quote:In the worldwide leadership training meeting held on June 21, 2003, President Gordon B. Hinckley taught us that as priesthood holders we have a fourfold responsibility. He said: “Each of us has a fourfold responsibility. First, we have a responsibility to our families. Second, we have a responsibility to our employers. Third, we have a responsibility to the Lord’s work. Fourth, we have a responsibility to ourselves.”
This is not the only time that Pres. Hinckley listed those priorities in that order. You need to care for your family. You also need to care for your career and employment that will in turn empower you to provide for some of the important familial financial needs.
We also have some obligation towards our church. It can be helpful to remember that each of us can “do church” in a way that best fits the needs of ourselves and our family. This might mean having a small devotional time with your family at a time and place that works for you. This might mean visiting another ward with different hours. This might mean taking the sacrament and then going home to sleep.
In my current job I work Sundays. Every other year as the ward schedule rotates I go from attending just Sacrament Meeting to just Sunday School and Priesthood. My bishop knows that he can call me as a primary teacher January 1st 2016 but must release me on December 31 2016. Someday my situation may change and I may be able to give more – but until then it is not wise to metaphorically run faster than I have strength.
This brings me to the final priority on GBH’s list – the responsibility to ourselves. Steven Covey refers to this as sharpening the saw. If you are the saw and you get dull, it will not be wise to just push harder and harder. Sometimes looking out for ourselves means taking a break for a recharge or re-sharpening. A big part of this, In my opinion, is allowing yourself enough sleep. My wife goes to the movie theater by herself to get a break. She will start to feel overwhelmed and will ask me to take the kids so that she can go to the movies. Sometimes there is a particular movie she wants to see and sometimes she just needs to get out of the house. She is not being selfish in doing so. We all need some time to refresh and “sharpen the saw”.
Jgaskill – please seek for balance in your life and your responsibilities. In doing so you will be following the counsel of church leaders.
:thumbup: No your not. We have 4 medical people in our ward and they work all the time. One is a obstetrician (babies come when they want to), one is a pediatrician (but he gets emergency calls), the other 2 are nurses and their shifts require odd hours and Sunday work. When we had the Sabbath Day – Fifth Sunday lesson, one of them commented that he can’t keep a traditional Sabbath, but he tries to make sure he has sacred music in the car, or eats lunch somewhere private where he can commune with the Lord. Our Bishop totally agreed, and came back to it several times. I think he did it because our community is still rebounding from the 2008 financial crisis, and we have members who get what ever job they can, and if Sunday work is apart of it – then “feed your family” is an acceptable answer.
No, you won’t be an apostate until you have a choice and make somebody else work on the Sabbath. 
I disagree with GBH’s priority list. Putting yourself fourth is wrong. You should come first. I know this because I have burnt the candle too brightly for too long at many times in my life, and it has led to health problems. Your mind, your spirit, your body — they are the instruments for serving all other people. And it should come first. Not in a selfish way — but in a way that recognizes the need for self-maintenance — the burst point for all other forms of service. Now, I will give GBH credit. The list of priorities that I was raised with are
1. God first (whatever that means).
2. Relationship with your spouse.
3. Church
4. Employment
Now, I heard people switch Church and Employment in the list in different talks in the area I grew up. Sounds like this was local doctrine. But I like the fact that GBH a) put the self in the list, and b) made employment more important than church.
One thing I disagree with that he said was that he thinks education is a very good thing because “it increases people’s capacity to serve in the church”. If employment is more important than church service, then his praise of education should say that it’s good because education “increases a person’s ability to secure satisfying employment and their capacity for church service”.
Nonethe less, to the OP, if you put yourself first, if being at church after a long shift is hard on your spirit and your body, then church should fall off the list for a while. Skip one Sunday a month, or two, and then watch BYU TV later in the day. There is a very good sacrament meeting broadcast there every week, along with lessons from BYU professors. Get your spiritual nourishment that way.
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