- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Question for the group: Mission Presidents are only called if they are married. Their wives are expected to serve with them in supporting the mission. We have no term for those women. I was listening to someone talk about “The Mission President’s Wife” and about how it was her job to deal with any sick or injured missionary. Every time he used that term, I was struck by how marginalizing that term is. Those ladies don’t have a title of their own, or am I missing something.
Are the Mission President’s Wife less involved, so that they don’t need a title?
I haven’t served a mission so I would love to get the group’s input.
How involved are the wives? Do they have set roles? Do they deserve titles?
The role of the president’s wife has changed in recent years and they do deserve a title. They have gone from being a sort of de facto mom to having real leadership roles in training and responsibility for sister missionaries and as part of the mission leadership council. I think the problem is what to call them. I personally favor president, but realize that causes some confusion about whom one might be referring to since they both have the same last name. Her Highness the Grand Matriarch works for me, too. 
I don’t know how this is churchwide, but I can address how it worked in my specific mission. I had two different mission presidents while I was there, and the roles that each of their wives played was very different. I believe it’s kind of up to the sister herself to decide how involved she wants to be. I would compare it to 1st Lady. The wives of different U.S. Presidents have approached that role very differently. My first mission president’s wife was very involved, attended every zone conference, spoke during most of the zone conferences, called to check up on newer missionaries when she thought they could use a boost, etc. The wife of the second president was much more introverted. She rarely attended zone conferences, and actually didn’t even leave the mission home very often. She was very friendly and caring, but just wasn’t as comfortable around people. I think the ‘presiding couple’ can figure out whatever they are each comfortable with. Fwiw, here’s something recent from lds.org: Quote:Five New Temple Presidents and Matrons Called
19 May 2015
Five new temple presidents and matrons have been called by the First Presidency. They will begin their service later this year.
The equivalent “P” and “M” in the headline seem significant, but maybe it’s always been this way, and I never noticed back in the days when I never noticed.
My iPhone says that a matron is:
a woman in charge of domestic and medical arrangements at a boarding school or other establishment; a married woman, especially a dignified and sober middle-aged oneThat first definition actually fits a MP’s wife better than a Temple President’s wife.
So we could have “New Mission Presidents and Matrons” called? Or, like DJ says, just call them both President. That would pave the way for elders and sisters to both be assistants to the president. (If you want to keep that whole set -up with high-profile/sought-after assignments for missionaries.)
All that said, I could sense the high regard our missionary had for her MP’s wife, even though she never called her anything but Sister. I like calling each other Brother and Sister as often as possible instead of other titles. It’s such a great equalizer. It’s intimate and respectful simultaneously.
My two cents way too late at night….
Quote:I don’t know how this is churchwide, but I can address how it worked in my specific mission. I had two different mission presidents while I was there, and the roles that each of their wives played was very different. I believe it’s kind of up to the sister herself to decide how involved she wants to be. I would compare it to 1st Lady. The wives of different U.S. Presidents have approached that role very differently. My first mission president’s wife was very involved, attended every zone conference, spoke during most of the zone conferences, called to check up on newer missionaries when she thought they could use a boost, etc. The wife of the second president was much more introverted. She rarely attended zone conferences, and actually didn’t even leave the mission home very often. She was very friendly and caring, but just wasn’t as comfortable around people. I think the ‘presiding couple’ can figure out whatever they are each comfortable with.
My own mission experience was similar. My first mission president’s wife was a very kind woman but she was a bit detached. Her health didn’t seem good and she didn’t speak the language of the mission very well. (Her husband, in contrast, was not a very warm person…I didn’t like him much.) My second mission president’s wife was extremely active, outgoing and opinionated. She was very funny and eccentric and we soon all had our favorite story about her. I worked for a time in the mission office and had many opportunities to interact with her. She was a wonderful person who spoke the language well and frequently accompanied the mission president in his travels. My president was also a great and caring man. I loved them both. I was saddened many years to later to find out that they had gotten divorced.
I think this problem is exacerbated by the limitations of the English language. In some languages there are actually separate words for male and female presidents. Many languages use a lot of articles and the articles denote gender. For those languages you could refer to either the husband or the wife as “the president” and there would be no confusion about who you were talking about, the gender would be communicated via the language.
English doesn’t really have that, Sister SoAndSo is probably as close as you’re going to get. It would be interesting to see the language evolve but two presidents, one male, one female, serving in the same capacity doesn’t come up that often. Of course we’ve got some work to do to get the couple operating in the same capacity but that’s a different subject.
My mission president’s wife was in charge of health. She gave us our shots, for example. I suspect she was heavily involved in the oversight and training of our “Welfare Sisters” (we had two types of sister missionaries: proselyting and welfare). Now-a-days, I’m sure the Mission President’s Wife has a role with Sister Training Leaders (the rough equivalent of Zone Leaders for the Sisters only). I do believe they deserve a title, absolutely. I don’t really like “matron”, either in the temple or the mission, because it seems like a subservient title… of course, they are in a subservient role, so that fits, but I don’t like that. Like DJ, I have also long favored calling them both Presidents. I actually don’t see any reason why the mission president can’t be a woman and the husband the… Patron? The mission does have to have priesthood organization, since it administers baptisms and often acts as the ecclesiastical unit in place of stakes. However, as long as there is a man and a woman, one of them has the priesthood, regardless of which one is in charge of the day-to-day operation. Realistically, though, that’s not going to happen any time soon, so calling them as Presidents of the Mission, and assigning each one complementary duties, would be reasonable compromise.
FWIW, my wife and I have had many conversations over the years talking about how we would run a mission if we were called to be Mission Presidents (which would be entirely on her merits, I assure you).
A few years ago, I was looking at volunteer opportunities for people in healthcare .. Thinking ahead towards retirement. There is a huge need for people in my specialty. The church list asked for “A Married Worthy Priesthood Holder” to provide the service and his wife to do paperwork. There were no positions available for women. None. Doctors Without Borders or Faith In Practice would take me on any terms .. A week, a month, a year. Any terms. LDS church couldn’t wrap their heads around my gender. It makes me sad.
Listening to someone talk about “The Mission President’s Wife” just brought back all those feelings.
I’m good enough for God .. But not good enough for the Church.
In my old singles ward the bishop’s wife was affectionately called “Sister Bishop.” amateurparent: That is maddening. The only thing I will say to it is that in our ward, a sister who is also a General Practitioner with her own highly successful practice is the mission doctor for the mission here. So clearly they are capable of figuring it out. The notion that the wife is going to just do paperwork while the husband does the doctoring is an antiquated notion. We’ve had other women doctors in this ward, too, due to our proximity to the Mayo (both men & women doctors). I used to get this idea when I was a missionary that it would be cool to be a mission president, to help the missionaries, to organize them into companionships, to deal with problems and solve them, to basically oversee the work. But of course, I’m barred from that kind of service, but apparently I can make sandwiches and clean toilets and type memos for men. Now that there are more sisters serving, it would make some sense to have more women in the role of MP or co-presidents with their husbands. To me, it’s about the work one does. I love working with my husband (we own a business together). We work well together. Co-presiding would be fine. We aren’t in the business of overruling each other. We make decisions together.
I think a part of it also depends on the ages of the children – and, obviously, the personalities of the couple. I had two mission presidents. One had relatively young children; the other had no children in the mission home. The first wife spent a lot of time dealing with family stuff, and her mission responsibilities were relatively lighter; the second wife was, in practice, a co-president. The first president also was much more the alpha male type, and his wife was much more the supportive female type; the second president was much more a facilitator and interpersonally oriented, and his wife appeared to be much more his equal partner.
I know members and missionaries who liked the first combination more, and I know members and missionaries who liked the second combination more. Overall, the second couple was more loved, I think – but the first couple might have been more respected.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.