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I am grateful today that LOVE is the core of the gospel. That is something I am certain of, and resonates with me clear through… I’ve learned from being X-ed that love doesn’t require church walls. IN fact, it is amazing how many people you can help hold together BECAUSE you have learned to stand alone; and by standing alone, you become a pillar of stability for others who shake and stumble.
Would you believe I have people who rely on me, and who I hold together? They know I struggle with doctrinal things,..but what they also know is that in my mind and heart, LOVE supersedes all that other stuff. Love is supreme.
The fact that I am X-ed makes no difference to them when they need me to cry with them, when I put my arms around them and tell them they are not alone, and that I will always be their friend. Being a “Mormon” with a card in his wallet makes no difference in the least at that moment…I know, because I have been on both sides,..but especially on the giving side.
One of the things I am most grateful about is that LOVE is the core of the gospel. And,…when it comes right down to it…real love can be really messy. When you are the one who changes your schedule because a friend is frightened because of chest pain; someones child is really sick and making a mess, and they really need help; your addicted neighbor needs a ride to emergency again; your sister is stranded in another state, and you cancel your vacation and use up all your PTO for the rest of the year to go and rescue her…..not clean stuff, you know?
And then there are the hours where all you have to give is yourself and your love. When you sit with a friend in emergency (done that a lot at this point),..when you stroke some hair and dry tears because they are shaking in fear (done that a lot as well). And, the hard part is when you encounter depression or loneliness (I know something about that latter one), and you expand your circle of friends just a little more, even though it drains you that much more, because you feel inside that no one should have to cry alone.
Never underestimate the real value of the Gospel…it is about love. That is the core for me….and today for some reason I feel gratitude…because I believe in that 100%….
And lest all this “heavy stuff” gives the wrong impression,…even a smile and a cheerful hello,…gosh its good to see you today!…can mean the world to people. I’ve seen that stop someone dead cold in their tracks in total shock…because someone discovered they were alive and a human. No kidding!
I know inside that one of the only ways I can pray (and I struggle with prayer) is to plead with God to help those I love, because I am weak and only have so much I can give before I myself break. In those moments,..I feel like I can finally pray. And that feels good to me.
Beautiful testimony Rob. I believe love to be at the innermost core of the gospel. Rob4Hope wrote:I know inside that one of the only ways I can pray (and I struggle with prayer) is to plead with God to help those I love, because I am weak and only have so much I can give before I myself break. In those moments,..I feel like I can finally pray. And that feels good to me.
Those are real prayers.
Thanks for all your thoughts, Rob. You really nailed it.
Quote:I know inside that one of the only ways I can pray (and I struggle with prayer) is to plead with God to help those I love, because I am weak and only have so much I can give before I myself break. In those moments,..I feel like I can finally pray. And that feels good to me.
Beautiful thoughts. I agree with you.
Quote:“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man named Levin said it right. He said, ‘Love is the only rational act.'”
Real charity is astonishing and powerful. Thanks for your post. It is a wonderful, gracious reminder of part of our central mission.
Rob4Hope wrote:The fact that I am X-ed makes no difference to them when they need me to cry with them, when I put my arms around them and tell them they are not alone, and that I will always be their friend. Being a “Mormon” with a card in his wallet makes no difference in the least at that moment…I know, because I have been on both sides,..but especially on the giving side.
Thanks, Rob4. This is timely for me because a few people who’ve left the church/our ward have been on my mind lately. I need and want to reconnect with them.Ann wrote:Rob4Hope wrote:The fact that I am X-ed makes no difference to them when they need me to cry with them, when I put my arms around them and tell them they are not alone, and that I will always be their friend. Being a “Mormon” with a card in his wallet makes no difference in the least at that moment…I know, because I have been on both sides,..but especially on the giving side.
Thanks, Rob4. This is timely for me because a few people who’ve left the church/our ward have been on my mind lately. I need and want to reconnect with them.Thanks to everyone who has posted on this. Ann,…I want to respond directly to your quote.
I have a gay friend (have many actually). He once was a bishop, husband, father,…etc. In his mind, he has lost all of that, including being a father–his children have disowned him. He is also X-ed.
He is officially, and as far as his own heart is concerned, OUT of the church.
I have a deep abiding connection with him–in fact, I haven’t connected with him for a while, and think I want to send him a text today, or a call. Now, he knows I am a straight male,..and he knows I know he is gay. But, in the midst of that, I have no problem putting my arms around him, hugging him and telling him how much I love and appreciate him.
Does anyone know how much something like that can mean to another human? I’ve felt him tremble,…because he feels as low as I think a human can, with the old MofF book rattling around in his head, and feeling like this world would be a better place if he were dead. THAT IS HEAVY STUFF!
Anyway,…can I say something very delicately here? It is this:–I have learned something from being X-ed. It is that I am leaning kindof toward the “mercy” side of things….you know? (Duh,…we all are, but when you are in trouble…REAL trouble, and you find yourself stuck in stage 3 at the time,…the wounds go deep). From this whole experience, my own “discipline” (if that is what it can be called), I have learned to not pass judgement. I have learned to be kind, tender, and sensitive to the wounds of others–because I have a few of my own.
I felt this years ago, and I still believe it. Wounds…the kind that are way down in your heart, have the potential of making you more tender, more sincere, more kind.
Many people look to Jesus as this great (the greatest) noble man who loves. I don’t connect with Him there. My connection is with the Jesus who cried and bled, who was wounded. I can’t relate to Him as this majestic immortal immaculate God. I CAN connect with him as he cried and bled. My wounds ain’t NOTHING–NOTHING!!!! compared to that…but to me, my wounds hurt pretty damn bad. I don’t want to heap more pain on Him, nor be this morbid fellow showing joy in others pain–because that is NOT who I am–but I am grateful that Jesus bled. I am grateful He can cry.
I can cry to.
PS…Just feeling tender today for some reason.
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