David Bednar’s Families vs. Chieko Okazaki’s familes

Last night I was reading Sanctuary by Chieko Okazaki and I ran across these lines. Enjoy.

President Thomas S. Monson stressed this spiritual aspect of sanctuary when he described happy homes. “Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature large families with father, mother, brothers and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant.” He described a motto that his aunt used, “Choose your love; love your choice”

“Home” and “family”, according to Elder L. Tom Perry, “must be interpreted to encompass the lives of the single Latter Day Saint, single LDS parents and their children, and married Saints who have no children.”

Now from Chieko herself

The important point is that there is not only one right way to create a home or to be a family Therefore there is not just one right way to make a sanctuary out of your home. Think about your home, the people who live there, and the activities that occur. Is there love? Is there holiness? Is there the happiness that betokens the Spirit of the Lord?

Sometimes we think that we have to be sitting quietly in a meeting or engaged in prayer to feel the Spirit, and that reverence is the same thing is immobility. Not a bit of it! Look for signs of love and happiness as well as reverence and peace, and you’ll find the Spirit of Lord in them as well

I know this isn’t a direct rebuttal to MGF’s but it seems much more happy, healthy and hopeful to me.

I don’t know what MGF stands for….

But I like the latter quotes better. They don’t focus on the composition of the family at all — they get to the heart of it. To the feelings that abide in a home. It removes family composition entirely and gets to the outcome.

Wow – Nice quotes I posted. 😆

Seriously – thanks for finding these.

I can’t for the life of me figure out MGF’s. I have searched Bednar talks from that time but can’t make a match. I still concur with Chieko’s vision.

I don’t know what MGF stands for….

MGF=Multi Generational Family. Bednar used it as part of a presentation in which he postulated that young people leaving the church was the result of poor gospel teaching in the home and that those with close ties to their grandparents, etc., were less likely to leave. It was part of the Sabbath training stuff. FWIW I beg to differ with him, especially on the first part.

All I’ve got is anecdotal evidence, but I have a friend, and ex-Bishop of 10 years who has to inactive sons. He followed the book in his home. His sons want nothing to do with the church. On the other hand, I was light on gospel teaching at home, and strong on supporting my kids in what they wanted to do, while encouraging church participation. And I have one firmly active adult child and another one who is on the fence, but active, I guess at 14.

The church is quick to blame individuals for any failings, and slow to look internally for its own problems.

I don’t know what MGF stands for….

I admit it, I immediately went to google to look it up, figuring I was missing something. I’ve got it narrowed down to something in Chinese food or something used in space telescopes.

jk, I see the multi-generational families definition later in the thread.

When it comes to defining families I like the option were a person gets to define a family rather than have a family defined for them. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a “typical” family anymore. Everyone’s family is going to be a little different. Rather than get hung up on what does and doesn’t make up a family maybe the focus should be exactly what was quoted: “Choose your love; love your choice.”

I’m also missing something. Where does Elder Bednar fit in? His name is in the thread title but the quotes are from Chieko quoting others or from Chieko. Was it his recent GC address? I admit, I’ve forgotten his talk in its entirety, even though I listened to it. 😳

Bednar’s Sabbath training video is here: https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/watch/general-conference-leadership-training/2015/04?lang=eng&vid=4775945487001” class=”bbcode_url”>https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/watch/general-conference-leadership-training/2015/04?lang=eng&vid=4775945487001

It’s not all bad but it’s not all good either. This is where I first came across the MGF idea. It’s less than five minutes long. The zinger about weak gospel teaching in the home is at the end.

I know this is offensive to some, but I truly dread the day when Bednar becomes president.

A convert told me that he was told that “he would not truly understand what the church means unless he grows up in the church.”

I believe what this well intentioned person meant to say is that there is much of our church that is a heritage church. Venerating our pioneer ancestors. being sealed together along with great great grandpappy. No empty chairs in the family type stuff.

There are parts of the church experience that are promoted as the ideal and yet they are unreachable for people on the margins. Converts, part member families, non traditional families, etc.