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I have to say, I’m really struggling right now. I’m really distraught over the church’s new policy with children of gay parents not being allowed to be baptized unless they move to a non-gay household or wait until their 18. This is so wrong! I can’t see how the “prophets, seers, and revelators” agreed to this. If Gordon B. Hinckley was alive, would he have instituted this? I highly doubt it. I’m thinking of writing a letter to the First Presidency to talk to them about this. Not in a mean or argumentative way. Just to gain some perspective. Other than that, I’m not sure how I stay in the church after this policy change. I’ve learned over the years to make being a member of the church work for me, but this is pushing me to want to resign. It’s just too much. Even when I pray, study the scriptures, and hear talks at church and general conference, I keep getting impressions from the Spirit that true and false doctrine is in the scriptures and in the church. I keep getting the impressions that it’s up to me to pray what those true and false doctrines are. Another impression is that most member of the church, like any church, are in Stage 3 of the Fowlers Stages of Faith and that it’s okay to be in the higher stages, but it’s much harder to be in those stages. But how do I remain in the church when too many people, even most of the prophets of apostles won’t move beyond stage? Please help me people! I’m really struggling here! Take a look at the doctrinal discussion section. There is a whole thread about this new policy. I don’t know what to say in regards to trying to find truth. I am in a tough spot myself. I think the best answer I could give you is that currently, I am trying to focus on the teachings of the church that have made me a better person. I try to hold those and then recognize that pretty much everything in the church is based on humans trying to do what they understand to be best. Whether or not that is actually best is another question. I do not at all I understand the reasoning behind not allowing children of legally married homosexuals to participate in the church fully. I think in retrospect there is no doubt this is on the wrong side of history. Thanks for the comments. I have looked there, but I still wasn’t sure where to find this. Anyway, I definitely try to find those things that help me be a better person. You’re not the only one struggling with this. It is hard. I don’t agree with the new anti-gay policy and there are others I also struggle with (polygamy, missions, temples, etc.). Unfortunately all I can offer is “hang in there.” I try to make the gospel and the church mine and just discount that which I don’t believe – but you are absolutely right, it ain’t easy. Yesterday in ward council the bishop said he wanted to discuss the gay policy next ward council. First, I don’t think it’s really a topic for ward council. Then there was the adoring “follow the prophet” response tot he idea (some stated they believed this was revelation). I won’t be there fortunately, but these things make it very hard. I’ll just leave this here: Chieko Okazaki wrote:If you experience the pain of exclusion at church from someone who is frightened at your difference, please don’t leave or become inactive. You may think you are voting with you feet, that you are making a statement by leaving. Some may see your diversity as a problem to be fixed, as a flaw to be corrected or erased. If you are gone, they don’t have to deal with you anymore. I want you to know that your diversity is a more valuable statement.
This brings up a good issue. (Maybe I should start a new topic.) How do you plan to react to this issue?
My first reaction is anger. It always has been. Not a positive way to address any issue or live your life.
I know some will leave or become inactive. (Completely understandable)
I want to do something positive & be more proactive.
These are some things I plan to do:
A. Talk to members of the Bishopric that I consider good friends.
B. Talk in PH about my feelings on this issue. (I don’t want to sound like an attack on the Church)
C. Become more active in other organizations outside the church.
Anything else I can add?
I plan on commenting that with my faith crisis I have had to come to grips with the possibility that church leaders can make mistakes. Otherwise I would have already left. I am not saying they are wrong but I am open to the possibility. I so far have not received a confirmation that this is of God, but I also keep that option open. I also feel for the leaders as I do assume they are doing what they think is right. I feel bad as I am sure they are aware that this will increase the already very high suicide rate among young gay lds kids. That has got to be conflicting for them. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ilovechrist77 wrote:Another impression is that most member of the church, like any church, are in Stage 3 of the Fowlers Stages of Faith and that it’s okay to be in the higher stages, but it’s much harder to be in those stages. But how do I remain in the church when too many people, even most of the prophets of apostles won’t move beyond stage? Please help me people! I’m really struggling here!
I know it is a struggle. One good thing about this board is we know we aren’t alone in these feelings.I can share my impressions that if I have found Stage 5 on some things (I’m not sure I’m all truly there or are smart enough to know what stage I’m in, since it is all theoretical stages), I would say that at some point, it actually gets easier to me than when I was clearly in Stage 3 Literal Mormonism.
It is easier because I can simply tell my kids, “From what I know about this policy from the church, it is wrong. And it will change. Because eventually the wrong things like polygamy get corrected. Unfortunately, it takes time and there are too many casualties.” It opens the door for discussions with my kids and my friends and family.
Perhaps I am trying to say that “struggle” will always be part of it, and I try to accept that. I am not sure leaving the church will remove struggle from my life. It may just change one struggle for other struggles, and I just choose where I am heading.
But, in many cases, that has helped me find it easier to sit in church…knowing others are not right or wrong in their opinions on the church policies. It is just conjunctive faith, and it is reality. I roll with it.
That is not to dismiss your struggles, they are real. It is just how we handle the struggles that lead to who we are becoming.
Minyan Man wrote:I want to do something positive & be more proactive.
These are some things I plan to do:
A. Talk to members of the Bishopric that I consider good friends.
B. Talk in PH about my feelings on this issue. (I don’t want to sound like an attack on the Church)
C. Become more active in other organizations outside the church.
These are respectable reactions, IMO.
I plan to study out the issues more, and allow myself to feel how I feel…even if it is directly at odds with church policy. But the interactions with others, the discussions, the application of gospel principles … that is where the “wrestling with the Lord” is done for me. That is where growth is.
I think stage 5 becomes easier with less pressure on myself. But with all transitions, like riding a bike, there are bumps and bruises at first, and then it becomes second nature and easier and really hard to unlearn it, and really hard to ever go back to stage 3 thinking.
Well, thanks for the comments, guys. I’ve wrote the First Presidency a letter about this and a few other issues I have with the church. I’ve tried to be as nice as I can in my letter. I will mail that soon. Anyway, I’m trying to see things more in the leaders’ perspectives, even if I still don’t agree with it. And this issue, like many issues in life, aren’t so black and white. Ilovechrist77 wrote:Well, thanks for the comments, guys. I’ve wrote the First Presidency a letter about this and a few other issues I have with the church. I’ve tried to be as nice as I can in my letter. I will mail that soon. Anyway, I’m trying to see things more in the leaders’ perspectives, even if I still don’t agree with it. And this issue, like many issues in life, aren’t so black and white.
Generally speaking the first presidency won’t respond directly to you. They will, however, forward the letter to your stake president and ask him to address your concerns.
Ilovechrist77 wrote:Well, thanks for the comments, guys. I’ve wrote the First Presidency a letter about this and a few other issues I have with the church. I’ve tried to be as nice as I can in my letter. I will mail that soon. Anyway, I’m trying to see things more in the leaders’ perspectives, even if I still don’t agree with it. And this issue, like many issues in life, aren’t so black and white.
Would you like feedback on what you wrote? This is a good forum to do that. Or you can do it in a PM.
Just a suggestion.
That would be a good idea, Minyan Man.
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