Responding to the gay policy at church

I tend not to be verbally good in the heat of the moment – especially the more emotional the issue. I would not be a good debater. So I have taken some time to think of what I might say. Some of these I would possibly say in SS class if we get on the tangent. Others more in a one on one chat. I will share my thoughts as writing it down ahead of time helps me get my thoughts squared away. Sorry for this being such a long post. I hope nobody gets a face injury while reading this by falling asleep and their head hitting the keyboard.

My SS class response is probably going to be

I have to admit that this really shocks me and seems to be a real reversal of direction. I have prayed about it and I have not received any confirmation nor peace with this. With my faith crisis that I went through, I have had to learn to be very forgiving of church leaders. With the mistakes I have seen in the past I have to leave allowances for the leaders to make mistakes. I am not saying the leaders have made a mistake, but I can’t say I am anywhere near agreement with them on this at this point in time. But I will continue to ask. If they happen to been incorrect, I do believe the atonement covers all of this. The mistake as well as all the pain felt. The only thing I have a really hard time swallowing is the increase in the number of suicides that I feel will occur over this. We all know that Utah has a huge problem with this already and I see no way it won’t get worse. In fact there are news reports of how the suicide hotlines in Utah have had a surge in calls this week and there are allegations of at least one suicide.

And more on the one on one comment I am thinking of this

It seems to me that there is some real inequality in policy that is inconsistent and that discounts repentance. Take a bit of an extreme example to make the point.

Situation A: A couple has a fling and the woman gets pregnant. They decide to get married. It only lasts a short number of years. The child goes to live with the grandparents because the mom ran off with another guy and has been in one cohabiting relationship after another. And the dad has a real drinking and drug problem and has abused (physically and otherwise) not only several girlfriends, but also some of their children. He gets convicted and thrown in jail. In jail he realized he is bisexual and starts having frequent sex with the other male inmates as much as he wants. The parents are OK with the child being baptized as they really don’t care and don’t even have much contact with the child.

Situation B: A gay man that was brought up in the church and was Peter Priesthood – did everything he was supposed to. He even confessed his orientation to his bishop and ended up getting advice to have electroshock therapy and to just marry anyway. After a few years of trying so hard and beating himself up to do “the right thing” he comes to the realization he will have a high chance of committing suicide and just can’t do this anymore. He still loves his kids but both he and his wife agree they need a divorce (as is the case in 70% of “get married and the gay will go away”) and he lives with another man that he marries. He and his wife want the kids to be raised in the church, fully knowing what is taught in the church about gays.

Situation C: A woman in college “experiments” and ‘lives’ with another woman for a semester and it is documented on facebook. She later on decides to join the church, marries, and has kids.

So out of these 3, who has an unusually high bar to get permission to be baptized? With the new policy it is B and C where it seems to me A is the most problematic situation of serious sinning.

Makes no sense to me on the grounds of “sex with another person outside of marriage” is a sin.

And depending on how I feel and the way the other person is reacting, I might even describe exactly what is done in electroshock therapy with anatomically correct terms.

And here is my thought that at this time I will TRY to keep to myself

There may be some minor reasons to help keep the kids out of the middle of court battles, but nothing is done for other parallel situations children are in. It feels like the main reasons are a paranoia about the church being pulled into law suits and the bigger issue is the church wants to make sure congregations don’t turn into places where people can see positive gay couples and start being more sympathetic to gays.

I might also add that nowhere has this been said by the leaders that it is revelation. Also I might stress that I am not telling the leaders they have to change anything – I am saying how I feel. We have had Elder Christopherson clarify that we can even do things like support Gay marriage as long as we don’t cross the line of telling leaders what they have to do (at least not yet).

Simple and briefly, I will say

“I don’t like it. It feels like too much policy and not enough gospel.

Mark 10:14″

I also hate “Abrahamic sacrifice” type theories for testing our faith, or justifications for wrong things asked to obey. It sounds like a inept God to do such manipulative stuff, more like a Lucy character in Peanuts. I wouldn’t accept such games in a marriage relationship of mine, and wouldn’t accept it in a relationship with the almighty, omnipotent, all loving God and me. I think there are enough tests of faith in this world and the plan He created to not need such manipulative and intervening strategies.

However…some of my trials I’ve been through have felt just as difficult as a symbolic story of cutting babies in half, sacrificing my child, or plucking out my eye. It FEELS like sometimes difficult things need to be done to choose the best option…but I don’t take the symbolic stories literally…I have some common sense.

I don’t give leaders a pass for Prop 8 and say they were just weeding out the faithful in the church. If that is truly what this stuff is about, I will trust the leadership even less.

Thanks Heber for Mark 10:14. Proudly using it going forth.