Why I want an afterlife

mom3 said:

I never had plans to be a God. I know we teach it, but somehow I just could never get worked up over it. But to connect or reconnect with people is the fondest wish of my heart. To apologize or hug those whom I hurt, whether by accident or on purpose. To give us each a real fresh slate.

There are relatives whose stories I’ve heard, whose lives I have dreamed about, yet whose faces I’ve never seen. I want to touch them, laugh with them, ask them their side of the stories I’ve heard.

Then there are relatives I miss so much.

This is why I like Family History & periodically to go to the temple. I agree: I want an afterlife.

…I always wonder what people from horribly deprived and abusive families picture in the hereafter…

I’ve spoken with a few people in this circumstance. I tend to have problems getting the words out of my mouth. I’ll try to do the subject justice.

Either there is a gap in Christian theology or we generally do a very poor job of teaching the concepts of justice, mercy, and the atonement.

We tend to look at the atonement as the way a sinner “escapes” punishment. We look at it from our own perspective: we screw up, we don’t want to be punished for eternity, we feel bad, we make the necessary changes, and the atonement becomes this magical agent that swoops in to pay the debt to god. What if we get outside ourselves and look at the people left in the wake of someone’s sin? Who pays the debt to the victim? I’m not talking about returning a stolen object. Some debts can’t be repaid in this life. A lifetime of abuse is something that can never be fully recompensed.

When a victim of abuse sees their abuser receive mercy it feels like being abused all over again, except this time the abuser is god. Do we extend mercy to the victim or do we demand that they turn the other cheek? The victim is given yet another responsibility, another hardship to bear on top of all the injustices that they have accumulated over a lifetime.

I understand the concept of everyone wanting justice for others and mercy for themselves. I also believe that abuse is an entirely different matter. The abused can reach a place where they forgive but I don’t think they would want to be placed in an environment that would have them keep company with their abuser for all eternity. Maybe a million years of good behavior would make people reach a place where it was all water under the bridge but I think it would be abusive to expect that of a victim. From the vantage point of a victim, keeping company with a habitual abuser is only opening themselves up to further abuse… even in the afterlife.

We’re really good at looking at the demands for justice from the angle where the sinner is punished but we do a poor job of considering that the demands for justice also include healing the victim. I think the demand for justice is only complete once the victim is healed. The same could be said for mercy; I think we limit our concept of mercy to how it applies to the sinner, forgetting that it also encompasses the victim. I certainly don’t have the answers. I feel like it’s something overlooked in Christian theology.

I’ve probably got more thoughts on this but this already feels like I’m going way off theme.

I remember when my faith crisis was in it’s infancy. I overheard two coworkers talking about religion and what one of them said was like a dagger through my heart. I don’t remember the exact words but the sentiment was that religion represents the vain hopes of the poor and the wronged. The afterlife was an invention, a dream where all injustices were corrected, where poverty and suffering finally had an end. Essentially he was saying that it was a fantasy land that allowed people to accept their current station while they dreamed of a better, future station that would never come.

Br00tal.

The guy was well traveled, a respected voice, and I was in a place where those words could affect me. I’ve tried to reframe the concept as “the gospel is not a plan of deferred happiness, it’s a plan of happiness” meaning don’t wait for happiness to find you…

Maybe if you live the good life it’s about a continuation of life. Maybe if you live a hard life it’s about finally receiving yours. I bet it’s especially hard if you live a hard life and believe the afterlife is about a continuation of life.

I’m starting the see the atonement not as an escape from punishment, but as the realization that there is no punishment in the first place. There is nothing to fear. There is nothing that could be done to me that God couldn’t undo.

I agree whole heartedly that without your loved ones, heaven is not heaven. That’s why you must be sealed in the temple to enter the Celestial Kingdom, it wouldn’t be heaven to you if your eternal companion wasn’t with you. Your happiness is attached to that person and your relationship with them.

Though I would like to add that I hope there are moments in solitude during the afterlife. I love my family, I want to be with them forever, but sometimes I need some space. I guess, I hope I still get to take naps in the afterlife.

I want an afterlife so I can keep experiencing things, and learning, and to continue to exist.

Eternal family? I don’t get that part of it really. Perhaps because my biological family I grew up within is not very close. We live far apart and the level of interaction they seem to want is minimal. My existing family (wife, daughter, son) is fine, but I expect it will go a similar way when the children are older (one is almost out of the house and can’t seem to wait to get out).

Although I have tried, our family culture is individualistic; we live together and help each other on major issues, but we don’t do much together — in spite of my efforts. I expect that Cats in the Cradle syndrome described in the song by Harry Chapin may well apply across most of the dyads. This doesn’t mean I will abandon my attempts to unify my family. But I have not been successful so far as it takes more than one person to make that happen and time has almost run out with one of my children…even if I wanted to keep changing it now.

So, where I find life interesting is in building new relationships as I tackle new challenges and have new experiences. For example, I’m creating what I believe is a unique organizational structure in an organization and learning to orient people to it. Through this experience I am making new connections and new friends. These friendships will last a while, and then there will be new ones where I can learn from my past mistakes, and hopefully, have an ever-increasing impact on others, in a positive way. And I will continue to have a positive ability to make an impact on the world I live in, for good for eternity.

If you believe you have eternity to live, then I expect that even if my earthly family relationships end at death, due to my own inactivity or the choices of my family members, there will be a VAST amount of people to interact with in the eternities. The odds of forging the kind of lasting, family relationships that people claim are so satisfying, will be very good if deep relationships at some level are permitted during that time.

The other thing, for me, what really typifies the marriage relationship is physical intimacy, shared responsibility for finances, living under the same roof, and sharing your deepest thoughts.

As you get older, the physical intimacy side of things becomes less and less important and desireable among many people. I have some very fulfilling relationships with people right now that are outside the marriage relationship, with both women and men. They are platonic, and asexual, and I could see myself potentially being “room mates” or neighbors with such people without any kind of formal marriage contract, but finding the relationship fulfilling. Some have even expressed that desire. Even living alone has its advantages, while still having close relationships with friends — you don’t have to put up with their daily habits that may seem annoying. If self-sufficient, the finances don’t matter either.

I personally get most of my needs met outside of my marriage — not physical needs for sex — but needs for understanding, companionships, talking, problem solving etcetera….

So, I too want an afterlife for relationships, for achievement, to continue to learn and do good.