Handling Trials

That’s an excellent question. The way I commonly hear this phrased in and outside the church is that “god won’t give you more than you can handle.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 is usually the verse that is used to back it up but that verse says:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Which is limited to temptations, not trials. I suppose it’s more or less the same premise.

Now that I’m re-reading the verse I find myself thinking that the verse doesn’t necessarily mean that god will provide an escape in the moment, meaning there’s always a way to not give in to the temptation in the first place. It could mean that the atonement has provided an escape and that process may involve succumbing to sin again and again, repenting again and again but one day, through the “escape” of the atonement, we may finally free ourselves from the temptation. In short, the escape is a process, not a moment to moment bail out.

Back to trials. I don’t have good answers to your questions but I do believe that the idea that we will not be burdened with trials beyond that which we can bear is patently false. I believe that there are trials that can break us. Hearing “the lord won’t let you go through anything you can’t handle” when you are going through rough times can really go either way. I’m sure that in some scenarios saying that can help people realize that a trial is only temporary or it may help them see a light at the end of the tunnel. In other cases it might cause people to feel that much more alone in their trials. It really depends on the trial and the person.

What does it mean to handle something?

I do see it as principally an emotional recovery. To a lesser degree I also see it as getting to a point where the trial is over. I say to a lesser degree for the latter because I believe it is possible to “emotionally conquer” a trial, get to a place where a trial no longer bothers you, well before a trial is officially over. That and it may take a long, long time to get over something emotionally, well after the trial is over.

Does that mean at some point in your life before you die, you’ll be emotionally recovered from it? What if you die before you can ‘handle’ it?

Maybe I could borrow from the Corinthians comment, that the atonement will eventually take care of things. I can tell you that believing that the only relief from certain trials that we’ll get will come sometime during the afterlife is hugely depressing. I’m big on being happy now and having that happiness carry on into the next life, if there is such a thing. I’m sure someone that is more of an optimist that I am would disagree but I’m going to say that being happy in this life isn’t always possible. For me the question isn’t will I or won’t I handle this trial, it’s “how do I handle this trial?” It’s the horrible trials that impact people’s entire life and the lives of their family that are especially hard. No man is an island, one solution would be to reach out and it takes more than saying “the lord won’t let you go through anything you can’t handle.” Overcoming some trials likely requires a community.

I believe the church members saying such a thing are trying to sincerely from their hearts provide support or be hopeful in their own situations, so the meaning is meant to be comforting, and I take it in that vein.

But it is not scriptural.

I would ask someone to give me the scripture that teaches that doctrine, and I don’t think they can. Closest they can get is 1 Cor 10:13

…but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

I think people take that and twist it into the thought that God won’t allow you to have a trial beyond what you can handle, but that isn’t really what that scripture says.

So much of religion is about finding some hope to help us get through the trials we have in our lives. I don’t think God tailors them for us, life has sufficient opportunities for us to all experience trials of one kind or another. We fight to survive. We try to comfort each other through it.

Sometimes you learn a lot when you can’t get through something. So…God wouldn’t deprive us of the natural consequences and actions of life.

Take courage and have hope you can get through your trials, and you are in a better position to have success. But…no guarantees. That’s what I have learned. There are no guarantees. There are trials I’ve had that I could not handle. There will be more. I prefer to have a realistic view on life, not false hopes.

(looks like nibbler beat me to the scripture…you’re faster than me nibbler!)

[For me it took time. There are still moments I can let myself go to the Dark Side.

Thanks for sharing that, MM. I think that is helpful to see the reality of how you personally handled things. Some things are too painful, we can’t just smile and pretend it is all OK all the time. But…I like your example of continuing to journey through it all.

I think some trails are from Heavenly Father. There are also trails caused by other people such as murder, abuse and many others. Our Heavenly Father lets these things happen. The people that causes the trails have their freedom of choice to do bad things to others.Our Heavenly Father helps us get through the trails caused by others but doesn’t stop the the people from causing us trails.

One of my favorite terms is:

righteous indignation

.

I don’t care how I try to justify it, the emotion is still anger.

It affects everything in my life negatively.