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Just wanted to integrate thoughts that came up in a couple threads recently. One is that eternal family is far more than being in the temple together and sealed or born under the covenant. The family needs to WANT to be together in the eternities. Take an example right now — do you have family far flung over the world? Or family who are close by but to whom you are not close? Other than the obligation to come to funerals, weddings, remember birthdays, legal obligations, or come together during times of crises (if the family members even do that), what is there to the relationship even if married in the temple in those circumstances?
There needs to be a natural bond — and that bond is under the control of the natural affections of the family members and the extent to which they invest in each other. Without either of these, no amount of administrative recordings of eternal commitments, or temple commitments will create an eternal family.
And what about relationships with non-family members? I have one friend of 20 years now. We talk as much as weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, and in spite of some pretty polarized ideas about the church,we have still managed to be friends. We agree not to talk about the church, but focus on many other common interests. We like to see each other. We have spent long days in the wilderness together and got along very well.
So, while I see eternal family ceremonies and ordinances as a good start — and an impetus for many — they only represent the veneer of what really makes an eternal family….thoughts?
I think what the temple teaches about family represents the natural desire to be with those you love, I don’t think it actually binds you to relationships that you don’t want to continue. I think there is a fair amount of hope in the these promises. My wife and I both live far away from our families. They are not a part of our life these days but we do talk on the phone and Skype. It’s not that we don’t want to be with them, it’s just that we are separated by distance. For me, the temple represents my hope that that will not always be the case. I think the teachings about gathering the lost tribes of Israel tie in pretty nicely. My relationship with my wife is not a model relationship and sometimes I get very frustrated with her. But I want the relationship to continue. Maybe I feel like I don’t sometimes, as does she, but I think we would both still choose to be together forever, if we could. She feels very strongly about being with her family, and being apart from them so she can be with me is very hard for her. But if we could all be together, I think she would be very happy. I think the temple does a good job of representing that human desire that my wife has. Does the temple actually make that a real possibility? I don’t know, but I hope so. Either way, it is beautiful.
As far as not wanting to spend eternity with someone because you just don’t like them or they have done you some harm that you cannot forgive, I think that’s where the separation between the kingdoms of glory come into play. Maybe there is someone that you don’t want to see all the time, ok you can go visit them in the terrestrial kingdom.
I’ve usually thought about this in terms of the Celestial Kingdom as being the best, so if you are there then you are better than those in the lower kingdoms. But maybe it’s not really that way. Maybe, it just represents the Celestial Kingdom as the ideal because it requires that all live together in harmony. If that cannot happen because of some dispute or damaged relationship, then those people will not be together. The more relationships you sever, the closer you get to outer darkness, or solitude. The interesting idea here is that if you reach the Celestial Kingdom, you can visit the other kingdoms. I don’t know if that’s real or not, but I think it represents the need to not only be with people, but to be alone as well. I think if this is real, then Heavenly Father probably goes to outer darkness to sleep, then comes back to the celestial kingdom to get back to work and be with family.
I think the relationships with non family members are also important and should extend through eternity if possible, which I really think is what inspired Joseph with the idea of plural marriage. Performing sealings between spouses and children just represents family as a priority. It teaches that those are the most important relationships and the ones that we should focus on in this life on earth. Much of this is cross cultural, which is why I think the temple really just represents that basic human desire and instinct to prioritize family first. It’s appealing to a lot of people, which is why I love the temple and think a lot of people do.
Unknown wrote:Maybe, it just represents the Celestial Kingdom as the ideal because it requires that all live together in harmony. If that cannot happen because of some dispute or damaged relationship, then those people will not be together. The more relationships you sever, the closer you get to outer darkness, or solitude.
Very interesting thought. I would be afraid of the telestial kingdom because the inhabitants are painted as people that would take advantage given the opportunity. Therefore I would have to erect barriers of some sort just to protect myself. I am imagining it like prison. I would rely on the metal bars, the prison guards, possibly even on joining a prison gang to protect myself. Such a terrible existence. Yet for prisoners, solitary confinement is an even worse punishment. Such an interesting concept to ponder.
I think there are 2 important elements to the church teaching of eternal families: 1) Priesthood authority, personal worthiness, and temples with ordinances to bind in heaven what is bound on earth.
2) The work and effort and love that families practice to bind and share their experiences together, overlook weaknesses and celebrate strengths, serve and care and honor one another and form shared identities, mourn with those that mourn, weep with those that weep, forgive and display behavior how you would treat the Lord if he was hungry, or naked or in prison and could use support from family.
As unknown mentioned, the first is a promise or hope of what we can do, based on how we do #2. #2 is where the connection and blessings come from. #1 is the thing families can have faith in that will help motivate and focus families to work together on #2. #1 is a teaching principle for #2 as the working principle.
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