The Dating Support Thread

I don’t know if this is appropriate but instead of making new threads all the time I figure we could considerate to one thread from this point forward. Great way to support each other in one place. Feel free to lock this thread.

Anyways I was doing the online dating thing with more LDS women. I met this nice girl who is also is a RM in Rexberg. We did a video chat and I could tell she was VERY interested in me. She wanted to talk again.

I know it was a little early but I figure this was a great opportunity to practice honesty (for a lack of a better word) to see if she was ok about my non literal belief. I wasn’t super attached at this point. This is what I wrote via email:

So I’ll just get this out of the way. A little intense, I know. But I figure you would appreciate my honesty.

I recently came out of a faith crisis. In a lot of ways I’m still in my “faith transition” but currently I would categorize myself I’m a unorthodox non literal believing Mormon. I obey the Law of Chasity, Word of Wisdom, active in the church, believe in a Heavenly Father and in the Atonement, believe the church is mostly a good thing and I’m generally a good guy… but unfortunately means there is a big chance temple is not in my future according to my branch president based on what I told him about my beliefs.

I know most YSA women value the temple very highly and it’s something I have no interest getting in the way with if that’s something they truly want. I don’t think my value system is compatible with someone if the temple marriage is a no compromise value anyways. I’m more than happy to be supportive of someone’s faith journey to the temple but I have to stick to my #1 value. Honesty.

Obviously we are just friends so this is probably meaningless anyways but I think it’s just my own way to figure out how interact with people in my new life.

I’m more than happy to be your friend and talk to you more if you’re interested (even as just friends) . I just had to give you a heads up so I wouldn’t waste your time and energy!

I got a reply from her:

thank you for your honesty. I do appreciate that. The real question is why? Yes I do value the temple very much. I’m the only one in my family. My parents are divorced and they never went to the temple. The Temple is very important to me. And Thank you for letting me know. Yes it was intense, but somewhere a long the line we are going to talk about it. So I’m grateful that you were straight forward and honest with me. I am interested in being just friends, everyone needs friends. And you are a cool guy to talk too. and hope we can have fun, deep conversations. even though its just being friends.

I appericate her honesty. I’ll keep talking to her and keep you guys posted in how it goes. Obviously I’m not interested in someone who wants to make the temple part of the marriage identity even if I could do temple marriage. Anyways, I look at this as an opportunity to help challenge my thoughts and prepare myself for the long hard road ahead.