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Over the last week I told three people that I was a unorthodox non literal but still spiritual believer in my branch. Something I thought I could never talk about is slowly becoming something I don’t think twice about. One of my worries has been that I wouldn’t be accepted for it and how I decided to temple isn’t for me. I was talking to a girl I’m interested and just casually drop how I was unorthodox non literal believer and she talk about how she never wants to marry a guy who is just interested in her obedience to the church. It made me happy that there was a spectrum out there.
Of course I need to be careful who to tell and not tell. I think some authority in the church won’t take it kindly.
Anyways, I’m pretty happy that I’m slowly accepting and embarrassing who I am. I still challenge my belief just so I can stay away from cognitive dissonance and conformation bias. My belief is still evolving but I think what is more important is always accept no matter who I am and where I’m going.
I’m glad you had a good experience. You are right, there is a spectrum out there. Even here it’s hard to find two people who believe exactly the same. And, you are wise to be careful – especially in telling leaders and potential leaders. mczee, I’m always interested, in cases like this, who did you decide to tell? & why did you pick them? I am a firm believer that it is important to carefully pick who you confide with.
What was their response?
Was it positive?
Thanks for sharing that, mczee. Often times people come here frustrated and post how they
can’ttalk about this stuff to anyone and the fears around that. I appreciate you sharing when you can. THere is hope that in the right circles and in the right way…it can be something others don’t gasp at. I think it is more common in today’s society.
I also think it helps, that while you are careful still, that you also reiterate positive, common ground beliefs. The focus doesn’t need to be on orthodox or unorthodox, in many ways it doesn’t matter if you’re there to help serve, love, and support your leaders as the ward builds zion up among the members in that area. Statements like…
Quote:“I love all the church apps and material online, our church is so organized!”
or
Quote:“I have found many good reading materials and essays on LDS.org that really help me ponder deep meanings and help me liken the scriptures to my life”
These honest statements help people see you are searching honestly, perhaps they see it better to just be orthodox and believe the brethren and that works for them, but there are steps in the right direction and it is more openly talked about slowly in GC and with leaders who visit with lots of members who have doubts.Thanks for sharing what you are seeing that helps you see there is a place for you to stay and keep working through transitions.
Heber13 wrote:
I also think it helps, that while you are careful still, that you also reiterate positive, common ground beliefs. The focus doesn’t need to be on orthodox or unorthodox, in many ways it doesn’t matter if you’re there to help serve, love, and support your leaders as the ward builds zion up among the members in that area.MAN. I love this advice so much. I will for sure focus on that. Thank you so much!
Minyan Man wrote:mczee, I’m always interested, in cases like this, who did you decide to tell? & why did you pick them?
I am a firm believer that it is important to carefully pick who you confide with.
What was their response?
Was it positive?
I think one person was leading up to their unorthodox ways (dating outside of the chuch). The second one was that we were both being vulnerable so I decided to take a leap. I kind of went off my gut reaction.
McZee I am in the same boat as you are but I have not yet told anyone my beliefs other than my wife who is slowly accepting the idea. I think we are going to be the fastest growing area of the church as many will come over to this belief system who are on the fence. I guess we could call it a unorthodox nonliteral but spiritual believer . Wow that is a mouthful !!! I agree you have to be comfortable in your own skin. It took me a while to to stop caring what the Ward thinks of me. Now I don’t care very much unless what I say limits my ability to get a TR if I want in the future. And yes, I would not let the church interfere with your self-esteem. Funny how we go through life people are always trying to get “a piece of us” for their own ends. I kind of see the church in that light now, although I know there are a lot of well meaning local leaders that just think they are doing God’s will. But I see the institution as an impersonal machine with its own teeth and jaws that is always trying to extract something from me. A machine that is sometimes even selfish and insensitive to the needs of the people it is supposed to be serving and even protecting. Sounds kind of harsh, but I do see it that way. But that is tempered by what I hope would be considered compassion and empathy for the well-meaning people/members I interact wtih, who are inadvertently absorbed into the organization and see the church as a means to living a good, meaningful life.
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