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Well I am happy to let you know I have attended all of my institute classes except 2 this entire semester. There’s only one issue: it seems hard to make friends. I often spend my time studying in the institute and I often hear people having conversations and talking about their lives and what not. I just have some kind of urge to make friends with these people. My Universities institute is fairly large but not too big. (I’m at University of Arizona). I want friends who have good standards and morals so that’s why I’ve been hanging out at institute a lot. But I can’t really find a way to make friends. I haven’t gone to my singles ward tho, just have been going home for weekends and going to my family ward back home. I am however going to give the singles ward a better chance in the fall tho. I just feel so left out!!! But I really want to make friends. And possible meet a girl 
If you figure it out can you let me know? 
willb1993 wrote:I haven’t gone to my singles ward tho, just have been going home for weekends and going to my family ward back home.
That makes it harder. My only advice was going to be “face time.” You’re already doing well in that department by attending institute very regularly. Seeing other people and being seen more frequently will hopefully help. Back in those days I attended the YSA ward and made sure to attend their activities. Even then as an introvert it was hard for me, I need people to approach me rather than vice versa, but increasing my face time with other people helped others feel more comfortable with me and helped me feel more comfortable with other people.
I agree with Nibbler about the face time. I remember being at a YSA activity and thinking that it was so hard and uncomfortable, I would rather be home playing video games (don’t judge me – I was trying to beat a game). I did stick it out though. I attended UNLV and we had a fairly good sized institute that I graduated from – however I cannot think of a single friend that I made there. My YSA ward became my social circle. So much so that it became awkward to date anyone from the group since we knew each other so well as friends.
:sick: willb – I think easing back into the ward in the fall is a good idea. Or will you be there over the summer and could start sooner? Possible approaches. These are generic, you have to adapt for your purposes as you see fit: – go to the ward full-time. I say this with full recognition that it’s not super easy. When I first started going to the YSA ward as a young man, I hated it. The ward had a weird feel, because it was entirely peopled by… well… YSAs. No kids, no older people, no variety. And what made it less to my liking was that while I had plenty of friends and acquaintances in my home ward, I knew almost nobody at the YSA ward and they all already had friends. So, I gave up after maybe two weeks and just went back to my home ward. In retrospect, I realize that I just needed to stick with it longer.
– once you are attending the YSA ward full time, consider talking to the Bishop and saying something like the following: “Bishop, I’m really enjoying the ward and of course, I’d like to have a calling when you need me to pitch in, but if I could make one request… I really don’t know many people in the ward and would love to have the type of calling where I get to interact with people.”
– speak up in Church. Make comments in SS. Bear your testimony. Don’t just be present; be visible.
– I would recommend not approaching people and saying, “I would like to be your friend”. Instead, talk to people; ask them about themselves, then don’t linger… move on. That way, you meet lots of people and don’t come across as desperate for friendship.
– attend as many of the meetings/activities as you can and when you do, whether it’s Church meetings, dances, socials… show up early and leave late. Pitch in
– and finally… try to interact with people as directly as possible, eschewing email/text any time that talking face to face is possible.
willb1993 wrote:But I can’t really find a way to make friends.
Standing up at the end of class and saying “who wants to grab a few beers later?” may not work. Or it may. Never know.
Same for bringing enough coffee and donuts for everybody.
There’s always the method that worked once for me; come up with a good excuse to break somebody’s nose. Took ~15 years for him to finally concede the point, but his nose healed fairly straight. Coincidentally, the old friend who confirmed me owns a house built on the spot where I broke the other guy’s nose. I’m fairly certain that wasn’t a factor in the choice of construction sites.
I was a single in a family ward for a long time and then went to the ysa, it was difficult at first. I made it a point to be involved and went to activities. I realized that if I wanted to have friends there I had to find them. I started talking to people, and at one poke asked a girl if I could draw her (not like jack in titanic), I was into drawing at the time so.it was a good icebreaker.
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