What if we just stopped teaching modesty?

It seems unlikely that God would say, “My rule is that you dress modestly according to the standards of whatever place and time you live in.” After all, He is supposed to be eternal and unchanging, right?

You know, if that were the rule then god would be unchanging. “Be good within your ability to understand goodness.”

I don’t think the problem is with teaching modesty per se, I think the problem is how we teach modesty.

I agree… and I’d add that part of the problem is in how we police modesty.

The Young Women leader in our ward has explicitly told me that she’s not going to talk about modesty with our girls – that she is just happy they are showing up, regardless of how they are dressed. I am profoundly grateful for that.

:thumbup:

I think there’s “teaching modesty” – defining it narrowly for everyone and repeatedly cramming it down their throats – and living modestly – showing by example that your outward presentation connects in a meaningful way to your particular values or preferences.

Girls, boys, everyone, want someone to emulate. If you want them to want knee-length shorts and capped sleeves, then start looking happy and healthy in them yourselves. Stop talking about how other people are wrong. It’s just such a boring turn-off.

Another benefit of teaching modesty by example only: the loads of time it will free up in YW to teach the actual gospel.

Another benefit of teaching modesty by example only: the loads of time it will free up in YW to teach the actual gospel.

Yeah, but it doesn’t take that long to teach the CES-distilled proof-texted gospel. If we wanted to teach the actual gospel, maybe. But it seems we clearly don’t.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have a FtSOY pamphlet and we didn’t spend time teaching modesty. There might be a dress code for different dances or activities, but there wasn’t this overriding assumption that everyone would dress as if they were already wearing garments when they weren’t. It’s completely out of control. I believe it coincided with the alignment of the church with the religious right, the desire to be seen by churches that hated us as one of them. To me, that’s been the most damaging thing that has happened to the church culture in my lifetime. We’ve gotten completely off track with what makes us unique and compelling.

The presence of a sundress or a bikini swimsuit has not once reduced my husband or son to a slavering, incoherent mass!

Poor guys. You should bring them down to Texas some summer where they can see bikinis properly used.

We don’t teach modesty in the Church – at least not regularly. We teach a dress code. If we actually taught modesty as a comprehensive principle (moderation in all things – including, sometimes, moderation itself), I would be happy.

Ain’t that the truth.

Hear, hear! When can we teach REAL modesty? The modesty we teach is completely ostentatious. It’s downright immodest!

I agree with HG and think it just gets out of control and whackadoo.

THere is so much one-up-ism in the church…stories are told and retold and enhanced and embellished and to get the attention of others is taken to more prudish extremes to express faithfulness…..

…and then at some point you gotta stop and listen to what is being said and think “Wow…Mormons are weird”.

So…discussions in the home are needed to balance out zealous stupidity at church.

Our daughters will respect us more for teaching them proper standards at home, including how to ignore things that don’t sound right at church.

Less shaming, and more teaching values that uplift and build self-esteem.

I don’t think the solution is to stop talking about it. Our kids should be taught. I just don’t leave it up tot he church to teach them, because they don’t get it right at church, they get other parent’s perspectives that I don’t always agree with.