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So .. My DH and I helped out in a situation. The beneficiaries of our service had no way to pay us back .. And we didn’t expect payback.
One of the couple came to me, expressed his gratitude, and then stated, “Well .. If we think of this in terms of the Law of Consecration ..”
I cut him off and said, “You know I’ve left the church. Right?”
Whenever I hear the Law of Consecration brought up, it is like a red flag in front of a bull. To me, it is someone stating that they really ought not be grateful and thankful for a kindness .. That they are somehow owed the mitzvah that was just given.
A simple “thank you” would’ve been sufficient.
Do you have any cultural “hot buttons” that drive you nuts when they are brought up?
The Church is perfect but the people aren’t…. Won’t pull an ox out of the mire on Sunday
When offenders quote the fact that I’m worse than they are if I have not yet forgiven.
The idea that everything is inspired, except when things go wrong, in which case it’s the imperfections of men.
Leader worship, such as recognizing stake leaders when they sit on the stand and aren’t contributing to the meeting, or when they enter a lesson halfway through and sit down.
Been enjoying a few things now, though…
1. I guess my involvement in church did touch a few lives over the years. The intensity of your experience with people’s nitty gritty lives provides that opportunity. I am seeing it in people who are glad to see me after so many years, and quote my service.
2. A Bishop who seems unbound by policy and rules. He also did the right thing with an interpersonal problem someone I know had at church, and is effective in getting results.
3. A SP who recognized the error of a previous SP and made it right the second he was set apart.
4. Apparent respect for my own unorthodoxy, lack of pressure to do the things they expect of active people, respect for my boundaries. Perhaps when they get used to me again, in our Ward, they will bust through those boundaries, but for now, they are well established and working.
My sister came to visit us with her 4 children. The oldest daughter was considering attending the college near our house. We met at the family reunion and drove back together. Finances have always been tight for them. I paid for gas to fill up their tank (several times, it was a 300+ mile drive). I paid for food at the fast food places where we stopped. When we got to our house, my sister had accidentally locked her keys in the car. The locksmith did not accept credit cards and we ended up paying the bill. My sister asked my wife, “Do you have cash?” Overall we spent over $200 directly on her and her kids. At the close of the weekend my sister wanted to take us out to dinner as a thank you gesture. We went to Denny’s because kids eat free. My wife and I are conservative in our ordering and our portion of the bill was less than $20. We made sure to thank my sister several times for dinner. We are getting buckled and about to leave the parking lot and my sister says in a celebratory tone, “Yeah, now we are even.”
I looked at her incredulously and said, “Not dollar for dollar we are not.”
In talking to my wife later, she thought my response was somewhat mean. Why could I not just let my sister believe that we were even?
amateurparent wrote:To me, it is someone stating that they really ought not be grateful and thankful for a kindness .. That they are somehow owed the mitzvah that was just given.
I believe that generally people do not like to be indebted to others. Therefore they often employ little mental gymnastics to help them feel less indebted or not indebted. One way of doing this is hinting. I believe that people hint in part because it is less awkward than coming out and asking. If I hint and the hint is rejected then I save face and embarrassment because I never officially asked. If I hint and someone offers me a solution to my problem then my gratitude and indebtedness can be limited because they offered to help me – I did not technically impose upon them by asking.
Anyway. My current theory is that this has everything to do with psychology and human nature … and not very much to do with the law of consecration/united order.
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