Nice reaction to my coming out

…He did ask a few questions that were appropriate. He thanked me for being willing to share this with him and he said he knows it had to be hard for me to even say that to him. He said he would like to understand more. I told him I am willing, but if it is really working well for him now it might just be best to leave it be. When we actually parted he gave me about a 2 minute hug and said he loved me and was so glad I was a part of his life and he was grateful to have such a good friend. I was balling by this time myself.

Oh if only it was this good and loving of a reaction from everyone when they came out to family/friends.

Now this is a Church Reactivation Program I could endorse. You & your friend did all the right things. Sensitive, understanding & empathy.

“church leaders”, “the church”, “reactivation programs”….all those at the bigger level are one thing.

Meaningful stuff happens one to one with friends and how we interact.

I’m glad you could share it. It is what it is…it’s nice to just put it out there and not have that overshadow a meaningful friendship.

Very nice reaction. I have a friend who accepts me in my unorthodoxy like that. I have to be careful I don’t bash the church to him, there is so much trust in the relationship — I can say it. I had to set boundaries in that respect as I saw it was ticking him off. So, be mindful of the balance if you meet with them regularly. My friend and I rarely talk about the church anymore. I go to Ward parties with him, and church comes up in the context of conversation about our families. But I have learned not to say anything negative about the church as it upsets him. I am sure he tells his wife the things I say, though. Another reason I stopped doing it a few years ago. He is in a different country so that is why I have been willing to do away with my usual guardedness about sharing my contrarion ideas with people I know.

Just some advice from my armchair of experience You don’t want to hurt this special relationship over the longer term if you talk frequently with this person.

Thanks. I already told him I don’t want to go into it with him but he is still asking to know more. I was already going to try to keep it high level and about how “I” feel.

Keeping it high level and making “I” statements seems to be the best plan IMO. The problem is you don’t know if he’s truly interested in being your friend and listening to your concerns without trying to “fix” you or if he is going to try to argue, offer apologetics and/or try to “fix.” From another point of view, he could be trying to feel you out and see what he can share with you because he has his own issues – you just don’t know. At some point if your discussions continue you’ll figure out where he’s coming from. I think it’s better to play it safe at first – but you already know that