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I’m talking about the church’s Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). Do you know people who have been part of it? What’s their take? Does it work as well as (or better or worse than) regular programs like AA? Would you send a family member? Would you send a non-member? Would you send an inactive member? Or would you tell any or all of them to go to AA or get professional help? What do you think about the church’s heavily religious (and very heavy Mormon) bent on the 12 steps? (I’m not saying why I’m asking, but I am not asking for myself or my wife.)
I’ve had a couple of family members go through ARP, I’ve attended the courses as part of an internship (years ago), and my parents currently head up the program in their area. I’ve also attended AA (with a struggling family member) on a few occasions, and other 12-step programs (NA, CDA). I would say that none of these programs are a substitute for professional help. I’ve seen people do well in ARP and in AA, and I’ve seen people have little to no change in both programs. It really comes down to 1. How willing/ready a person is to change, 2. How much support the person has outside of the meetings. But, I’ve seen professional help do more good than any 12-step program. Based solely on my own experience, I’ve seen a lot of people in ARP who are there because their families or bishops have pressured them to attend, while people in other 12-step programs seem to be there more of their own volition. Again, that’s just based on my own experience, and is not meant to be an over-generalization.
Addiction is a tough beast. Good luck!
As I’ve stated in other posts, I went through a 30 day inpatient treatment program for Alcoholism. Since then I’ve been in AA for the past 26+ years. I believe that it saved my life, marriage, relationships, etc. It isn’t necessarily the meetings but the relationships that you develop that makes the difference. I have friends that I met at my first meeting that I still see on a regular basis.
They are closer to me than my own family members who are not alcoholics.
I never went to the LDS ARP. It is difficult for me to understand how you can have someone who’s a shopping addiction with someone else who has a drug or alcohol addiction.
The other difficulty is being anonymous. That is a foreign concept within our church (IMO).
In the process of getting sober, I didn’t want to hear anything that dealt with God or other spiritual concepts. That came overtime.
Thank you both for your input. Quote:It is difficult for me to understand how you can have someone who’s a shopping addiction with someone else who has a drug or alcohol addiction.
The other difficulty is being anonymous. That is a foreign concept within our church (IMO)
Agreed. And let us not forget the porn “addicts.” Somehow alcohol and nicotine addictions don’t seem the same to me as porn. The church’s answer (from what I am gathering from the booklet) is pray (more), read scriptures (more), and go to church (more). That might work with porn (“Every time you want to look at porn pick up the BoM instead!”
😯 ) but I don’t think it works with alcoholism. But then again, those Primary answers are the answers to everything, are they not?Nuff said for now, I don’t want to stifle, squelch, or negatively influence other input.
DarkJedi wrote:And let us not forget the porn “addicts.” Somehow alcohol and nicotine addictions don’t seem the same to me as porn. The church’s answer (from what I am gathering from the booklet) is pray (more), read scriptures (more), and go to church (more). That might work with porn (“Every time you want to look at porn pick up the BoM instead!”
😯 ) but I don’t think it works with alcoholism. But then again, those Primary answers are the answers to everything, are they not?I don’t think it works so well with porn, masturbation, or anything sexual. From what I understand, those things are similar to addictions, but it’s better to consider them compulsions: unwanted behavior that has a separate underlying cause rather than being caused by the behavior itself as part of a feedback loop. For sexual behavior, satiety tends to stops the feedback loop – it’s more like eating food than abusing drugs. Addressing the underlying cause makes stopping the behavior easy enough that most people can do it with willpower alone. Common underlying causes are things like ADHD, anxiety, and depression.
That’s not to say that addictions don’t often have an underlying cause, either – they very often do, and they’re of the same sort. That might be why professional help works so well. Personally, I’d recommend seeing a psychiatrist to get screened first, and look at ARPs afterward.
EDIT: Another underlying cause is guilt. I’ve read posts by ex-Mormons who were able to drastically reduce and even stop compulsive behavior after they left the Church because they weren’t filled with guilt anymore. I think most Mormons can get the same effect by believing the right version of salvation theology, so I’d recommend the book
Believing Christ. In my town, I have a friend who is an addiction counselor. The relationship isn’t such that I could send you to him for advice, or even ask him much about it, but if I were in your position, I’d be wondering if I could draw on professionals in the area to be a guest speaker or something. Also, I think involving caring family and friends in the process of addiction recovery education, with the permission of the person who is addicted, could be important. I know that in my own challenges (not addictions, just my own general weaknesses), family can be a stumbling block to change. They seem to want to box you into your old habits and labels, even when you’ve changed. For example, my wife raised a weakness I have recently. I reminded her “Do you realize that it’s been X years since I [insert weak behavior here].” They don’t seem to acknowledge when you change. Sometimes they don’t believe you can and its discouraging and actually prohibits change.
I find I have to remind them of my progress. Sometimes I will outright say, without any provoking reason, that “it’s been X months since I raised my voice at anyone in the household — have you noticed that???”. It’s almost like you need to be doing internal family and friend PR when you are trying to shake a bad habit to stop them from treating you like you still have the weakness.
Of course, I know nothing about addiction recovery, but these are my thoughts.
I love the general concept and the intent behind it, but its effectiveness (based on what I have seen) is limited by the same sort of leader/teacher roulette as so many other church programs. I would prefer, as a general rule, professional counseling and/or a program with more anonymity.
DarkJedi, I’ve gone to the church’s Addiction Recovery Program for my addiction to porn once. The program is good but it’s definitely far from perfect. I’ve never been to any secular addiction recovery programs before, but I’ve heard it’s a lot like other addiction recovery programs out there. When I was at the meeting, they give you a booklet to read and fill out while you’re at the meetings and in our time. The booklet has quotes from church leaders, mental health experts, etc. And while you’re at the meetings they go around the room talking about your addictions, recovery, etc. People talked about their various addictions but nobody talked about porn or sex addiction, so I didn’t feel quite comfortable talking about mine. One huge problem with the program: Even though it talks about progression, still mention of perfection. Drive me nuts! The other problem I have with it isn’t how the meeting is organized, it’s the distance. With where I live, the meetings are a good 30-minute drive away from me. I can’t afford to drive a car with the price of gas and insurance because I can only live on Social Security Disability. My parents could drive me but that just feels awkward. Quote:EDIT: Another underlying cause is guilt. I’ve read posts by ex-Mormons who were able to drastically reduce and even stop compulsive behavior after they left the Church because they weren’t filled with guilt anymore. I think most Mormons can get the same effect by believing the right version of salvation theology, so I’d recommend the book Believing Christ
Reuben, that’s right for many people. I haven’t stopped watching porn but I have been able to drastically reduce it and it feels good. I’m still a member of the church, but having a faith transition has helped me in the recovery process. I also agree with you about Believing Christ. Great book!
P*rn is an addiction, M isn’t in my view. DarkJedi wrote:I’m talking about the church’s Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). Do you know people who have been part of it? What’s their take? Does it work as well as (or better or worse than) regular programs like AA? Would you send a family member? Would you send a non-member? Would you send an inactive member? Or would you tell any or all of them to go to AA or get professional help? What do you think about the church’s heavily religious (and very heavy Mormon) bent on the 12 steps?
(I’m not saying why I’m asking, but I am not asking for myself or my wife.)
I think it’s one of tbe best things the church does along with YSA and employment program.
The problem in our local ARP is that they’ve had junior missionaries sitting in, which is not the best as I have found some less understanding than others. I don’t like that.
SamBee wrote:[quote=”DarkJedi”
The problem in our local ARP is that they’ve had junior missionaries sitting in, which is not the best as I have found some less understanding than others. I don’t like that.
What’s a “junior missionary”?
SamBee wrote:P*rn is an addiction, M isn’t in my view.
The reason I’m not sure about porn is because in my mind it is not the same as an alcohol, nicotine, or drug addiction where the individual physically needs the substance or suffers severe physical consequences. I get that there are physical and mental dependencies but I don’t pretend to understand any of the mental stuff. And I’m not really sure how or why ARP (or AA) works to solve any of those issues. While I do understand that people other than alcoholics do attend AA, I also recognize that it’s really mostly alcoholics and it’s geared specifically to alcoholics. I question the nature of the catch all ARP purports to be since I view things like addiction to porn as very different from addiction to alcohol.
As a side note, I think the church overplays porn addiction. That is, I think there are many who misunderstand or are misinformed about what porn addiction really is. I am absolutely positive I can find people in my own ward who will attest that if someone has looked at porn willfully more than once they are addicted, but I don’t find that defines addiction.
Minyan Man wrote:As I’ve stated in other posts, I went through a 30 day inpatient treatment program for Alcoholism. Since then I’ve been in AA for the past 26+ years. I believe that it saved my life, marriage,
relationships, etc. It isn’t necessarily the meetings but the relationships that you develop that makes the difference. I have friends that I met at my first meeting that I still see on a regular basis.
They are closer to me than my own family members who are not alcoholics.
I never went to the LDS ARP. It is difficult for me to understand how you can have someone who’s a shopping addiction with someone else who has a drug or alcohol addiction.
The other difficulty is being anonymous. That is a foreign concept within our church (IMO).
In the process of getting sober, I didn’t want to hear anything that dealt with God or other spiritual concepts. That came overtime.
Someone I love recently shared his AA experience. He hears the same ideas, the same stories from the same people over and over again. Sometimes he’s so bored with it all he’s close to crazy. But he goes every two or three days because he also knows it’s the only way to stay sober. He spent twenty years in denial. Now he sees that he tells his story with better vocabulary than the guy who drives him nuts, but they are bound together in their fight for sobriety. Their loyalty to each other and reliance on the structure of the program seems battlefield intense. I don’t know if you can develop that connection just once a week among people with such diverse addictions.(On the other hand, I think it’s great that the church is trying to do this.)
You can hear the same stories over again. You can tell the same stories again. We have to remember where we came from. It’s easy to forget what it was like. When we forget, then AA becomes a social club instead of a mechanism for recovery.
For me, the important part of the meeting comes afterwards & you talk one on one. Or, you ask questions.
From the outside looking in, it must seem trite or a cliche. For some, that are living it, it is a life line & a hope that
tomorrow could be better. (Another cliche)
It is difficult to explain.
Attending AA is similar to participating here in that sense. The stories can begin to sound like the same-old-same old, but it is important to understand the importance of listening and contributing anyway.
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