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So I have one HP married to a non-member who wants a visit. He’s not active, but has many active family members in the church. We were friends at one time but have drifted apart. The visit at the door was uncomfortable but cordial and he invited me back. My approach would normally be to let him know I hope he doesnt’ feel the same divide I’ve felt when home teachers come to my home. They treat you like you are somehow different because you’re not attending every week, and it implies this conditional love that is actually off-putting. I would normally want to tell the guy I’ve gone through my own challenges with the church and have had to find a way to getting inner peace, etcetera, but I can’t share all that — remember — this is local. And my approach would not fly.
If I “open up” even to a seeming inactive HP, this could get back to the BP as his family are very active, and are even in my wife’s circle of friends. I could find myself on restrictions like Doubting Thomas is. A HT visit with someone who has concerns is not the same thing as a post here on StayLDS with someone who has concerns. It’s two different worlds.
So, how do you be an effective home teacher when you aren’t fully on the wagon? How can you show acceptance of another person, disarm them, without full disclosure? I know the thing I have to do with this HT family is break down the inactive/active divide between us. As far as I’m concerned, me and him are in the same boat. But can you say that in a HT interview? I can’t give up my cruising range by raising eyebrows to the local leadership.
So I need to use an approach that is quite frankly, foreign to me right now. Lost.
I am not 100% sure what the difference between VT and HT is, but I think you are supposed to have a prayer, and a spiritual thought/lesson from the General Authorities (preferredly the Ensign message), and check in with the family. If that is the case, I would just look for a spiritual thought/lesson on a topic that you 2 have in common and work on rebuilding that friendship. And if they try to redirect you back to the official monthly message, just tell them you felt inspired to select something else that felt more pertinent to the family you were teaching.
I don’t know if this would impact your cruising range any…
You said he wants a visit, but did he specify what kind of visit he wants and how often? If he wants the “standard” come, have a prayer, give the Ensign lesson, ask if he needs anything, have another prayer, and leave then that’s what you should give him. If he just wants someone to come around once in awhile shoot the bull about whatever (church related or not) then that’s what you should give him. If he wants you to drop by a couple times year (preferably March, June, Sept. or Dec. 
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