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You got my vote. I grew up in a ward of cover photo and runway models. The stress of porn shoulders, and knee length shorts had not entered the LDS conversation. I have photos to prove it. I remember having a lesson about my Laurel instructor waiting naked back stage at a runway show.
I hurt for us as people today in this area. The damage we do and have done just aches inside me.
Thanks for this. I am sharing it.
I like it! :thumbup: Mom moment here. The recent rediscussion of modesty (especially shoulders) has been rolling in my head. I will create a separate post on those thoughts. In relation to this post though I have one major complaint. Where the heck was this 16 year olds mom?
I know it says that her parents helped set the guidelines. I know she is up front about the “Not being Modest” part – but then, years later, her mom has a Come to Jesus moment with her about a child porn shot. The girl is 16. Mom get your butt on the boat and go with her. Plenty of other non-LDS mom’s do it.
Brooke Shields (the first soft porn model for Calvin Klein) did until Brooke was past 20. Aly Raisman’s mom did when she posed nude for Nike and then again this past spring when she did the Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit deal. I bet there are other mom’s who do. Or at least keep in touch enough to know your child is heading for porn-esque shot the next day. Even if your miles away. Get an itinerary. This is not helicopter parenting. She is under age in a risky business.
To me the person who needed to “use the Atonement to work through it” is the Mom. She handed her child over to someone she trusted (that’s implied). That trusted agent violated the parent – guardian contract (signed or unsigned). For the Mom to later sit down and “teach” the daughter is rich. The post presents the time span between photo and discussion as spacious. Weeks, months, or years later. As a mom would be in the agent’s office post haste if this story/photo were connected to my child. If the agreements about do’s and don’ts were so clearly marked then the onus is on the parent. This is not a run-away rebellious teen story.
The more I churn this, the more I rage. The failure was not the daughters – shoulder’s, modesty, etc. or not. The guilt of that photo (if the Mom believes there is guilt) lies on the shoulders of the Mother. She gave permission for this to occur. Clearly the daughter had no clue. Which I actually find okay. It demonstrates her heart. But Elite modeling has never been a pure industry. A boundary was pushed that the child didn’t even recognize. So who is responsible?
Thoughts?
I didn’t take it that the mother wasn’t there. I thought the mother was there, but that she felt it was close to the line and didn’t say anything. It’s tough to know what the mother thought exactly, but I agree that clearly the problem was the mother’s role in the shoot. However, the daughter feeling like the atonement would cover her mistake could just be the complicity that is naturally felt that she glamorized exploitation, even though it was unwitting. We don’t exclusively talk about the atonement as making up for individual repentance, but also as covering for the “lost” state of the world and the people caught in its snares whose lives are ruined by circumstance. I think it’s more common to refer to the atonement regarding individual repentance, but I’ve certainly heard it used plenty in this broader sense as well – making up for the wickedness of the world. After reading a few of the comments I have come to ask myself a question. If Modesty is not about exposed body parts then what is it about? Did the blog post say? I re-read it to see what I could pull out. Quote:Modesty is about who we are as children of God and how we act accordingly. Modesty is about treating ourselves and others with love and respect. It’s having the inner confidence and peace that makes others’ gaze and praise (rhyming intentional) unnecessary and unimportant.
{Snip} Regardless of the trusted role we play in a young woman’s life, let’s be sure we help her understand what modesty is really about. Help her feel the love of her Savior. It may not happen overnight, but as she comes to understand the love and respect He has for her, she will outgrow anything ill-suited to the queen that she is.
This sounds to me like Modesty is perhaps best taught in the Max Lucado book “You are Special”. In the book the wooden wemmicks assign value to each other based on a system of assigning stars for approval and dots for disapproval. Discovery of a relationship with the Maker makes the stickers no longer matter and no longer stick. If not letting the stickers stick is modesty, then it is interesting that modesty as taught by the church is just the other side of the coin from suggestive and provocative clothing choices. The “world” can assign gold stars for how attractive/sexy you dress and act. The church however assigns gold stars for how “modestly” you dress and act. We are still in the business of assigning stars for the “gaze and praise” of others.
I wrote up a little blog post about this: https://bycommonconsent.com/2017/09/01/and-the-tobias-funke-award-goes-to/ Love it, love it, love it Hawkgrrl. The comments on Hawk’s post at BCC . . . 😆 :clap: I also thought it was odd that the girl felt guilty about something she had no knowledge at the time was wrong. Good commentary.
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