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About a few months ago I was assigned about 18 families to home teach. I reacted by asking for it to be reduced to 5 families, which the Bpric agreed to. I said I would see them with my son. Well, beyond giving a blessing to one person who is not even on my list, I haven’t done a darn thing. I know my son isn’t into visiting them with me. That is part of it; conflict on my hands when I suggest we go together. Plus I don’t really like the way being a home teacher puts you on 24 hour call. When I was younger it was OK but at my age I no longer embrace the idea.
This is on my radar for a few reasons. One, I agreed to do it. I did say I would see the families, so there is an integrity issue here that bothers me when I reflect on so many months of not having done anything. Second, we have a new HPGL and he seems pretty on the ball. Is a former Bishop and is very black and white in his thinking. I fully expect PPI’s are on the table, and I will have to do some kind of accounting there. I held them regularly when I was a HPGL… He brings HTt up in Priesthood to the point I don’t want to even go to PH meeting if I haven’t done it.
It may baffle the leadership a bit that I’m not approaching them about a TR with my daughter getting married in the temple soon. And they can’t hold HT over my head as I won’t be asking for a TR. So that is out of the equation. It actually makes me feel very at peace about not having one, the independence non-Tr holding status brings.
But I am feeling the heat to be a HT again after several years of not doing it (partly out of no assignment given, and partly out of not attending our own ward for several years).
Working against me is the overall ineffectiveness of the program. Our HPGL said that if we see the families they will get active again, but that has not been my experience. I think the program needs a reporting overhaul…
Any thoughts on where to get the motivation to get out there and see these families? Maybe you think it’s not your place to provide such motivation. If so, just don’t post. If you have any suggestions to share, it might help me get out there and over the force of inertia from not having done it in so many years…
Call each of them. Explain that you are their new Home Teacher and that you are there for them if they need anything. Ask them if they want you to visit them or if they want something else. Tell them you will approach it however they want. See what they say. If you have to leave a voice message, send a letter saying the same thing. Tell them if you don’t hear back from them you will try to ocntact them again in a few months, in case they need something. After a few months, reach out again. If there is no response, tell the HPGL, honestly, that you tried.
My VT list is the women who really don’t want to attend but who found it easier to say “Sure I’ll have VTers.” I love it. I rotate through sending a note or dropping a small gift by. I love holidays or excuses for that. I don’t even knock on the door. I just leave the gift with a note and my phone number if they want to contact me. Only one did, she wanted her names removed from the church record. I passed it along to the Presidency. I don’t even do it every month, I break up the list and everyone gets something every quarter. Easy P-easy Lemon Squeezy. No guilt. With 18, don’t feel obligated to get all 18 in a month. No way Jose’. Rotate them. It works every time. And it’s honest.
My own home teacher is the HPGL. We are friends and go out to dinner on occasion but otherwise don’t “hang.” When he assigned himself he did ask what I wanted and I told him I did not expect a monthly visit or any visit at all for that matter and that I’d let him know if I need something. He has never been to visit but I am confident he would help me if I needed. He is an MD but not the kind that’s on call all the time. He lives on the other end of the ward, which here doesn’t mean the next block over. I currently have 3 families. One is long term totally inactive and generally antagonistic. She lives close, I have never contacted her about being her HT. I see her around the neighborhood sometimes and say hi, that’s about it. I talk to her shack-up more often because he’s kind of a town busybody and talks to everybody.
The second is a really old guy married to a non-member. She barely tolerates the church and has never been keen on the idea of monthly visitors or other Mormon things she considers weird. He is not endowed for that reason. I didn’t ask him what he wanted I just told him I wouldn’t be visiting, that I’d see him in church and to call if he ever needed anything.
I just got the third. They are a retired couple who just moved to the ward. I intend to do what I have done with number 2.
I did once tell the HPGL I’d take on some long term inactives that are on the quarterly or annual contact list and send them a note or email as often as required but he has not taken me up on that offer.
I like the idea of phoning them and asking them if they want me to come over. I used to always go there personally and talk to them, which is time consuming. This way I can vet them first. Some might not want me, in which case I’ll see if a letter is enough. Or maybe a quarterly drive by. I may well end up in front of a HPGL at some point having to justify my level of activity or lack of HT. That’s another story as the guy kind of scares me a bit. At least years of being unorthodox have prepared me to handle those kinds of interviews. I’ve had about 5 of them so far and they’ve all gone well.
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