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I’m going to put this out there… social media could do with a little more NVC perhaps! I have heard of this for years but have not attempted to apply it.
Quote:Nonviolent Communication (abbreviated NVC, also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication[1][2]) is a communication process developed by Marshall Rosenberg beginning in the 1960s.[3] It focuses on three aspects of communication: self-empathy (defined as a deep and compassionate awareness of one’s own inner experience), empathy (defined as an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person), and honest self-expression (defined as expressing oneself authentically in a way that is likely to inspire compassion in others).
Nonviolent Communication is based on the idea that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behavior that harms others when they don’t recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs.[4] Habits of thinking and speaking that lead to the use of violence (psychological and physical) are learned through culture. NVC theory supposes all human behavior stems from attempts to meet universal human needs and that these needs are never in conflict. Rather, conflict arises when strategies for meeting needs clash. NVC proposes that if people can identify their needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs, harmony can be achieved.[5]
While NVC is ostensibly taught as a process of communication designed to improve compassionate connection to others, it has also been interpreted as a spiritual practice, a set of values, a parenting technique, an educational method and a worldview.
I like it. :thumbup: While this approach is something to aspire to, it seems like sometimes there isn’t enough time to maintain it and convey information to others. It can get exhausting…or others can start to tune you out.
Sometimes I think some people appreciate the VC…it seems more productive and to the point. Although…sometimes the point is less productive.
:think: Anyway…I like the empathy and self-awareness. Something to keep in mind when sharing ideas with others.
Good post.
Thanks for the excellent reminder, Sam. It is important, especially, when so much extreme rhetoric is flying around – and it applies here sometimes as much as with political conversations, for example.
I’ve never actually tried it. I’m probably too moody!!! It is an enticing idea, but does it work?
For: You can see on social media, arguments that start and escalate and how this fans extremism. It is also easier for two groups to reach peaceful compromise with each other if they do not use this language – the alternative is effectively blackmail/strong arming.
I can see NVC calming a situation as well as preventing it from arising in the first place.
Against: We have wolves among us, wolves who are smooth talking but do not really care about us. NVC does not allow for them to be exposed or removed.
Also there are those who must be directly challenged and even fought – anti-semitism (and I don’t mean anti-Zionism/Israel) is going through the roof. There can be no compromise with that kind of thing.
I am sure it works, provided the other person is also engaging in non-violent communication. If they are offended by what you say, then the conversation won’t end well. But at least you know you tried your best. I read a really excellent book by a guy with a degree in Civil Discourse. It was aimed at helping people in faith crisis to talk with traditional believers. It seems to have a similar aim as Non-Violent communication. His formula is a bit different as he indicates focusing on common ground is part of Civil Discourse. I should dig up his principles and share them here. It’s something that every person struggling with the church could learn from — how to talk to people with whom you no longer agree and who do things that are irritating.
He wrote a book called “When Mormon’s Doubt: A Way of Saving Relationships and Living a Quality Life”. His name is Jon Ogden.
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Jon+Ogden He indicates we should focus on pursuing truth, beauty and goodness. And then gives examples of how to do that in conversations with other Mormons. All of these three things exist in the church….but he also comments on the consequences of pursuing goodness without truth, goodness without beauty, beauty without truth, truth without goodness etcetera.
I need to read his book again…
SD
I liked that book. A good (and not too long) read. I recommend it. Was it Churchill who once wrote that Britain and America were divided by a common language? You could say the same about many groups. I would go further and say that certain groups are using different languages which contain many of the same words.
Classic example would be Creationists vs Evolutionists.
Here for example is a Jehovah’s Witness dictionary.
The first column is Jaydub speak and the second the standard English or definition –
* Bible Students – JWs esp those murdered by Nazis vs theologians.
* Christendom – Apostate pseudo-Christianity vs Christianity & collective of Christians.
* Christian – a JW vs members of all churches.
* Christmas – a pagan apostate festival vs a Christian festival (with some pagan inheritances) or a commercial festival.
* Church – pseudo-Christian groups, a pagan word used disparagingly vs the Christian community, organisation and buildings.
* Cross – a pagan imposition mocking the torture stake Jesus died on vs + on which Jesus died.
* Elohim, Lord etc – replaced in scriptures by the name Jehovah vs standard titles for God.
* Jehovah – the only name of the true God vs the main God in the OT (LDS have other ideas)
* Kingdom Hall – meeting building of JWs vs a chapel/church building.
* Torture stake – a large pole on which Jesus was executed (no cross bar, a pagan imposition)
You can see here that using terminology such as church & cross have completely different meaning to JWs and are even offensive. It makes our distinct terminology look mainstream.
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