Joni

I don’t know either. Perhaps a PM (not from me) suggesting professional counseling and/or marriage counseling? I’m not sure how receptive she’d be. Her negativity does concern me.

Thanks, Heber. I agree and have been thinking along those lines.

One of the hardest parts of dealing with the seriously mentally ill is limiting the damage they do to others without unnecessarily adding to their own damage. It is exhausting at times, but it is important.

Thanks, everyone, for helping keep this site what it is.

There is nothing that can be done with her. Like others in our families, wards, communities with mental illness…we just have to decide how to cope in a Christ-like way to care for the unlovable members of our communities. Even online.

If she hates god for everything bad that happens…a PM to her will be directly from God saying she isn’t loved.

I say we let it go.

She reminds me of my ex-wife. She reminds me of this woman I’ve been assigned to home teach. She reminds me of people I see at the psychiatric ward here at the hospital I work at. These people may need a kind word or two, even if ultimately they will never change their behaviors and continue to bring chaos and havoc into their lives.

We can’t ban her. She hasn’t really done anything wrong. But she isn’t really adding to the forum in the true mission of the forum.

I guess I just see the best course is to let it ride, giving her an avenue for support, even while others see the same things we do. She has her issues, beyond anything we can do. But that is part of our experience too…how we handle ourselves when others are not able to be helped.

How can we show we think about church in unorthodox ways…but it doesn’t change the need to serve others compassionately.

Nothing I have ever told her has ever sunk in. So…I just skip her posts, mostly.

You make a good point, Heber. She does remind me of an individual that recently moved to my ward and my wife is assigned to visit teach. It’s really hard to get a handle on her, and we don’t believe much of what she says – some of the things she says seem too far out. Yet we have investigated some of them and find there is some truth. Either way, I think to her it’s all true.

This past Sunday I bore testimony. It’s the first time I have done so since returning to church because a) I don’t like to; b) what I usually want to say is in direct opposition to what someone else said; and c) I think people hear from me enough in my calling (where I do bear testimony). Anyway, I believe I was prompted to bear testimony this time and I believe I was prompted to say something to a specific person without directly speaking to her or naming her. I got the prompt late in the week. The above referenced individual was not the one, and I pondered why I felt I needed to say what I was feeling and why I couldn’t just say it to her, since I know who she is and I know she’s struggling. I realized when I got up it was because she wasn’t the only one who needed to hear it. The message was very simple – focus on Christ and don’t worry about the rest and it’s all going to be OK. Several people quietly thanked me afterwards. Why did I tell you this (other than that I’ve been wanting to tell someone who understands)? This mentally ill sister called my wife Sunday evening and said “I’m really sorry your husband is mad at people in the ward and I hope he’s not mad at me.” I could hear the conversation and we were both dumbfounded at how anyone could get out of what I said that I was angry. My wife assured her I wasn’t mad at anybody and particularly not her and then brought up a coming ward activity to change the subject.

Putting all that in context, at church I tend to avoid the nuts. Since the bishopric also knows who they are, they aren’t asked to speak or teach and, thankfully, they don’t often bear testimony (which I am capable of tuning out anyway). I don’t disagree that we can and should do as Nibbler says, and I also don’t see a reason to ban Joni. In not contributing to the mission of the forum, she also doesn’t contribute much at all with most of her posts being of the same “God hates me” theme. I do generally think the rank and file and lurkers see that for what it is and I don’t see others jumping on the bandwagon. Thus, I agree with just letting her be, although it would be nice if we could actually do something to help. And of course, like switching the channel, I don’t have to read her posts if I choose not to.

Thanks, everyone.

That story is an example is an excellent example, DJ.

I really like keeping it simple, mom3.