Convert trying to stay

You are not alone in your situation. For many, there are negative elements, but the positive ones outweigh the negative ones – to widely varying degrees. For others, the negative outweighs the positive – but other factors keep them from leaving.

Finding an individual balance that works for you is the key – and accepting that it truly is individual (as it is for every other member, no matter where they fall on the orthodoxy-heterodoxy scale.

Hello, from a fellow convert. :wave:

That does put a different spin on it, doesn’t it? What some BIC members might face if they were to leave the church is what I had to face when I joined. If I were to leave I’d have relatives doing whatever the opposite of spinning in their graves is. Laying completely motionless? Yeah, that’s what they’d do if I were to leave the church.

On that note…

Welcome.

Happy to have you, Squid.

I was born in the covenant, so I’m not sure how much I can empathize. Maybe if I wasn’t, I would’ve left. Who knows?

For me, it’s been very important to redefine what I believe and why I believe it. The Church places a huge emphasis on the priesthood authority, especially of the prophet and apostles. It’s practically the only thing that gives us a “one up” on other Christian churches. Without it, it’s all just personal interpretation; what sounds right and feels good. On the flip side, many of the commands we are taught are still “good” regardless of what God, prophets, or anyone else has to say about them. Alcohol is poison. Porn messes you up. Service builds relationships. Etc.

It takes a lot of re-evaulating. I’m still not done figuring things out on my end. Here’s wishing you the best on your journey.

Welcome. I am also a convert of many years ago, and I am the only member in my extended family. My view is very much like Dande’s. When I returned from inactivity and “rebuilt” my faith it became crucial for me to recognize what I believed and what I didn’t believe. We all have to make those choices eventually. One of my first steps was recognizing the difference in the gospel and the church. While often used interchangeably at church, they are not the same thing. Our theology teaches that the gospel always has and always will exist. The church (as we know it) has not always existed and is part of the gospel, not the other way around. Making that separation is helpful when it comes to things like doctrine as opposed to tradition, policy, or culture.

As a side note and FWIW, I don’t believe a social drink with clients is necessarily against the WoW. In my present state of belief, if I did engage in the occasional social drink I would answer “yes” to the question about obeying the WoW.

Welcome. I saw a Facebook post yesterday on “Why members leave and never return.” It was an awesome message, so I ended up using it for my home teaching message. It was really good. I hope we can be more welcoming to all.

https://mormondom.com/why-people-leave-the-church-and-never-come-back-410e3e817a3a

YES!!!!