Having trouble getting to church

Are you seeing a counselor? Colleges often offer counseling for free. My suggestion is bringing it up with a counselor.

There’s also the issue of lying to your mom. Just an FYI, she probably knows you’re lying. Women, especially moms and wives, know these things.

Women always figure out the truth. Always.

(Han Solo)

You sound as if you could do with a UV/SAD lamp as well.

I recommend taking /supplements too.

Counselors are wonderful for dealing with depression. They don’t solve the chemical aspects that might be involved, but they at least teach you how to frame depressive feelings more rationally so they don’t control your life.

As for drugs, it’s a crapshoot. The mechanisms that cause depression are not well understood, so most doctors will prescribe pill after pill until something works. Supplements and meditation are honestly more reliable, but they may not be enough on their own and you might be stuck experimenting with various drugs until something works.

I have been taking methylfolate for about a month now and it works wonders for me. It’s a supplement, so no prescription is necessary. I’m not 100% not depressed, but I do feel good, generally. I also started taking Vitamin D about a year ago, which really made a difference as well.

I can tell you that there were some weeks I’m surprised I was able to drag myself to church because I was so depressed. There were times when I had breakdowns at church and had to leave early or sit outside. Depression is real, so don’t feel ashamed if and when it controls you to the extent of not attending church. Don’t make it a habit by any means, but admit it when you don’t go and recognize the role of depression in that. I’m not saying depression can be your excuse because it doesn’t have to control you, but you know what, there are some times when you are so depressed that going to church would do more damage than staying home.

Moms like to worry about their kids, so I can understand your hesitation in being honest. There are some things I wish I never admitted to my mom because she has lost sleep over it or taken an intensely involved interest in (namely my porn problem), but I think that will be good for me in the end. I know my mom would freak out if she found out I skipped church because of her past experience with family members “falling away.” She’d all but disown me if I married outside the temple for similar reasons.