Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

I think that is a very personal ministry…which is the way it should be.

You have to ask their thoughts, fears, ideas…have them share what they think or what they are stuck on, or what pains them.

And then you go from there.

I think there are so many different directions it can go…and what makes sense to one person, doesn’t fit another.

I think the author of “Shaken Faith Syndrome” (Michael Ash) tried to write a book about that and help those who need to navigate it…and I read the book and found it good but lacking.

I think because each crisis is unique…it is pretty hard to address the needs of the individual, which is a very emotional and personal thing…similar to a testimony, which is a very unique and personal thing.

I think you start by being their friend, pointing out it is not a uniquely mormon to have these feelings about faith, and really listen to what they want and what they are needing help with.

Having passed a full decade in this mode, and having watched plenty of close friends and family navigate in/out, I have come to the belief, that not everyone in life was destined for this experience.

These aren’t blind stage 3ers. Being stage 3 is the fullness of the road they were required to take. We, who get to go a different path, should respect their place. If they come to you, consider answering. But take it carefully and slow. You know the pain of this process, are you comfortable inflicting it on someone else?

None of us can assume how the story will turn out. What if your “instruction” caused another to loose family and friends?

For me, I try to leave gentle calling cards. I select carefully what I say and to whom I say it.

Example- I was asked to VT an incoming RS sister who was moving from YW to RS. She also has chosen to stop participating in church. I know her mom. I told her mom, that if her daughter ever needed someone to talk to about her feelings/issues I was totally able to cover everything, including polygamy, women’s issues, church history, anything. Now the ball is in their court. She may just be ticked at her former leaders. She may be closeted LGBT. Who knows? Maybe I will learn someday, maybe not.

I have made clear comments in Relief Society about certain areas. LGBT, our opinion of other faiths, Race and Priesthood. They aren’t big but if you strung them together a narrative would appear.

For me I work to honor both sides. I would have been perfectly happy not having this experience. It was/is darkness like I never imagined. Now, though I can totally see where Adam was coming from when he rejoiced at the suffering. I have learned so much.

Everyone needs friends more than they need teachers or coaches.

First, do no harm.

Second, do no harm.

Third, remember: “We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience(s) and allow ALL (people) everywhere the same privilege…”

Fourth, don’t try to fix people. Just focus on helping them find their own perspective and, wherever possible, how it can work within the LDS framework.