Today’s Observations

One class member shared a similar story where he stood up for his beliefs.

I’m wondering if there will be an opportunity some time for me to stand for my beliefs in church…and see who accepts me for that.

I believe same-sex marriage can be a good thing.

What would people in your ward think if you stood up for your beliefs? Or…is standing up for beliefs only OK if you stand up for the “right” beliefs?

^ Is essentially how every group or community of people comes to behave eventually, because human nature. Even scientists disagree about things, as well as struggle to accept new evidence. It’s a human thing, and a human brain thing, to reinforce your belief system because it’s too much energy to expend to challenge it every minute of every day.

As much as I sometimes want or crave it, church is a place to find meaning to go on when all else seems meaningless. I try my best to not ask others to do things they aren’t capable of, and that includes the organization of the church.

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Yes, I wish that there were more moderates to help bridge the gap between opposing sides.

I am more limited in my desire – I wish that both sides realized that there is a valid reason for moderates to exist… instead of playing leadership roulette to decide whether a witch hunt was in session or not. I suspect that if there was a place for moderates, people would filter in from the wood works.

On the plus side, when I “came to myself” and realized how much I had been relying on black/white thinking previously, it became easier to mentally supply a check and move on (I think – verdict is still out).

You noticed two things about humans who happened to be Mormon.

We like to think we are special and peculiar (in a good way), but we are more natural than we can see.

That also is true of humans, generally.

One eternal round comes to mind.

It’s just tribalism, plus the regular old stupid human tendency to think that belonging requires fitting in, mingled with doctrinally supported exceptionalism.

Standing up for arbitrariness: These arbitrary things are in-group makers. They’re how Mormons distinguish themselves and identify each other. As far as I can tell, this is the only reason that most of them are important.

Fixing people: If you believe, consciously or not, that belonging to your tribe requires fitting in, and you care about the members of your tribe and think they can only be happy by belonging to it, then you must try to fix them so they fit in. You have to help them buy the right clothes, listen to the right music, say the right words, look down on the right people, idolize the right people, believe the right things, shop at the right stores, wear makeup the right way…

I think I drifted at the end, there.

The only way to not be this way is to recognize it, work against it, be willing to call out bullsh*t that supports it, and take your tribe’s outcasts seriously. Kind of like Jesus did during his entire ministry.

(FWIW, “bullsh*t” is a technical term from philosophy that means “things communicated without reference to the truth or reality.”)

Mormons aren’t challenged enough in their own beliefs. Or rather, critical thinking just isn’t really encouraged. If my testimony depends on immersing myself in the Mormon echo chamber and accepting what leaders say at face value, that’s a weaksauce belief system. If my beliefs topple when faced with any doubt or opposition, they must not be based on sound principles.

It’s the culture, so we have to accept it so long as we want to be part of that culture. But you can speak up on things that are on the fringes — where personal judgment is allowed — there are topics like that. I have done it a million times now, and normally get complements from others who are thinking the same thing but just afraid to speak up…here they are:

a) judgmentalism – you can rip Mormon judgmentalism to shreds and not get censured, because it’s biblical.

b) callings — i have had success in commenting on the volunteer status of Mormons, and how giving choice and considering desires for places to serve is good for volunteers and the church

c) correcting wrong assumptions. People laughed at someone who wanted to have more guitar in church! I pulled out the handbook that indicated stringed instruments, such as guitar, are appropriate provided the music is reverent. Major revelation for people.

d) I once went on about the grind of home teaching — that the agency of the families isn’t considered in church measurement of success, and that is demotivating — is all I have to look forward to, is nothing but failure as a home teaching in our reporting system because my families don’t want to see me? Major support from the quorum on that one.

I have done a lot more than this in the past, just can’t remember it, but you’d be amazed at how speaking up about fringe topics that you suspect are on the minds of so many people, can net you respect from the people who are there. Happens to me rather frequently.

Mormons aren’t challenged enough in their own beliefs. Or rather, critical thinking just isn’t really encouraged.

Sometimes we are, but often by bigoted, ill informed outsiders who reinforce our siege mentality.