Don’t Try To Push the River

Don’t try to push the river. The river is flowing nicely on its own. – Kathryn Yarborough

I think one interpretation of this is that we need to understand what we are capable of doing and what is out of our control or unable to be influenced – and focus our efforts on what we can control or influence.

I wrote a song called “Don’t Push the River” years ago. That phrase has a lot of meaning to me.

For me, it’s about not forcing people to do things they don’t want to do. It’s about not changing people from who they are innately.

My wife, for example, will always be what she will be. No end of rationalizing, pleading, begging, explaining, trying to convince will change who she is. 25 years of marriage have taught me that.

It’s better to find the rivers that flow in the direction you need, and then put your canoe in it. It’ll take you where you want to go without any forcing on your part.

My ability to delegate effectively has gone up dramatically since I learned that principle. I know who to ask to do what, what not to try to accomplish (due to the river of church culture, personality, policy) flowing in a different direction. I’ve learned to identify flows and use them for good.

When all rivers flow in a direction I don’t want, it’s time to see new territory…..with new rivers.