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I have been out of town from my home ward for 2 weeks. When I left, the thrill of “Ministering” was still in the air. Yesterday, snark was beginning to enter in. Not a lot but a little. If someone held the door open for someone, and the other person said thanks, the door holder quipped. “I’m just ministering.”
Someone else told a funny story of sharing a water bottle with a friend at the gym and “ministering”.
All “Ministering Teaching Supervisors” were released en masse yesterday. For some reason the wording and handling made everyone laugh.
I believe if President Hinckley was at the helm, this Ministering, would have been zipped up, rolled out, and better named than it is.
It’s going to be a cliche before it even gets off the ground.
I guess Holland set the tone when he made the joke about honking at someone counting as home teaching. Would that I were in your ward. We take stuff far too seriously. Where you see snark (which obviously I would thrive in like a fish in water) I see anxiety setting in. There’s pressure do better, get it right this time, IOW to do more, more, more.
We’ve joked about the honking thing. A couple of us have posited that honking is perfectly acceptable to us as ministerees. Seriously, my former HT (of about 2 years) now ministering brother has never been to my home. We chatted when he was assigned, I told him I didn’t desire visits and chatting at church or an occasional phone call/text were fine. If I need him I know his number. And I told him to count me home taught every month. He lives on the opposite end of the ward from me, which in my ward is about 20 miles. There’s no reason for him to be running all over hell’s half acre to do visits I don’t want anyway. BTW, when the change was announced I texted him thanks him for being a great home teacher and that I look forward to his continued ministering. For me, Nibbler’s “Home Teaching is Dead, Long Live Home Teaching” said it all. And our HPGL, who held one of those guilt tripping meetings on seeing families only confirmed it. The language doesn’t work very well either. I would rather it was called a friendshipping program or something. And I wish the church would GET IT. A thriving Ward comes from having a strong experience for the people CURRENTLY ACTIVE. People spontaneously come to church and see the excitement, the commitment, the spirituality, and they stay. All this chasing after people who don’t want to be seen is downright boring and monotonous. If all this effort put into ministering or home teaching or whatever it is was directed at making the experience of being an active Mormon better, I think we would have a much stronger church.
I’m glad they have removed the stupid goal of 100% visit in the home with a prayer or whatever the gold standard was. It’s a step in the right direction. But more training is needed of the local leaders who are treating it like home teaching but with more flexible companionships, a quarterly visit and only ministering interviews counted.
And I wish they had a calling where people do nothing but clean up Ward records. Contain the negativity for a certain period of time and let only the people willing to accept the calling do all the visiting. Stop making it a one size fits all program for the entire membership.
My husband got his new assignments and was royally bummed because he doesn’t feel like ministering to the expanded list of 6 units (I don’t blame him – I get it) without me. I don’t think anything is going to change unless I act as a catalyst for change (i.e. invite them over to our house to visit). I know his companion – he is a great man. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. And yes, for the families where we both have been asked to minister, I will invite them over and act as my husband’s companion because the executive functioning to separate the visits is just too much. And if they fuss at me for it, I will tell them, “I choose to minister to the needs of the people to best of my ability with the resources that were available to my family. Hopefully, future resources will allow the ministering to happen more in the framework expected here.” 😆 I think it’s a step forward but humor is not necessarily a bad thing. Over-correlation removed the fun side of many of these things.I like that we can find humor in things like this. Fwiw, we have had some excellent discussions about making sure this is a positive change in our ward, even as we have joked about it a bit, as well.
It starts with the leadership and goes down the rows from there.
I have a stake calling and I had to attend each of the ward conferences for the last few months and then I have been traveling most weekends for more than a month. So this week was the first time I have been in the new Elders (+HP) quorum meeting. Being a holiday weekend in the US about 1/2 the ward was missing. The priesthood meeting was on “ministering” and if you had just walked into it from 6 months ago you wouldn’t have known anything was different. The guy teaching is a nice warm guy, but very quiet spoken and monotone. I was seriously having a hard time staying awake (didn’t sleep good the night before). I hope it gets better than this. If I was in priesthood leadership, I’d assign everybody and interview them as required by the program, and forget the rest. No pep talks, no guilt trips, nothing. I would instead find out what the passions were of the members of my quorum, and craft a plan that do that — with a focus on making the experience of being a Mormon GOOD. There would be activities people WANT to do. It would be an expression of the quorum’s passions and own creativity about how to best achieve the mission of the church. As people spontaneously come out of the woodwork (less actives growing a new conscience, non-members) they will see a thriving Ward full of dedicated people, and it would inspire them to stay. You’d get more from motivating the people we already have, and making the new people stick with this plan than you do from these programs that have you chasing after people who aren’t ready to come back to the church yet. And you avoid all the negative effects and frustration the solid people experience going after the “high hanging fruit”.
Sheesh — do what works! I know there is a a badge of honor associated with chasing after the inactives, “if you spend all your days crying and bring only one soul to me, how great will be your joy in heaven”. Sounds good on paper, but I think this better>
“If you spend a few days making your Ward good, and keep scores of members who would have otherwise left due to the drudgery of it all, how great will be your joy in heaven”.
Quote:If I was in priesthood leadership, I’d assign everybody and interview them as required by the program, and forget the rest. No pep talks, no guilt trips, nothing.
I agree. The problem we are experiencing right now is programming. We have spent years programmed to push/fix/discuss HT/VT, that we just took the model and moved it over. It’s happening at the top, too.
The best part is – you can do that on your own. I have been VTing and VT-aught how I want it. I have even shared my experiences in Relief Society. I have publicly stated in multiple meetings, that I called it Visiting Friending. Set up a meet up once every couple to few months (I stipulated meals, or walks, or something like “girl time”). Count me every month when they call, say Hi at church. Give me a hug, sit down in the back of the chapel after Sacrament Meeting and chat about your life. Other than that, let me be.
My teachee’s get the same thing.
It’s worked for 5 years and 3 companionships.
The ball is in your court.
I think simply calling it fellowshipping is best. That is what it is. As soon as you say it’s ministering, it sets up an inferiority/superiority relationship. The minister is somehow better than the ministeree. Fellowshipping simply means relationship building among peers. And that is what it is. Sure, at some point, you might ask people to make commitments, but that shouldn’t be the goal — it is to show kindness and love and friendship. mom3 wrote:Yesterday, snark was beginning to enter in. Not a lot but a little.
hehee. it is kinda funny…how people can take such a little shift in wording of the same gospel principle stuff and take it so seriously as if things are such a big deal. Silly mormons.
I’m glad some can laugh at it a little…keep it from getting too stuffy and serious. Then again, I’m probably too snarky on the back row making fun of silly mormon stuff.
“Ministering Teaching Supervisors” doesn’t roll off the tongue, does it?
With 5 or 6 months of talk about this ministering…is church much different for it all?
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