Interesting Convo at church

So, I’m holding teachers council. A former Bpric member comes to the council and says “I don’t like teaching and don’t want to be a teacher, and don’t really like teacher’s council and don’t want to be a leader anymore”. Everyone was working in groups at the time so this was a sidebar conversation.

I explained that 10 years ago I’d be ticked. But now, if I was a Bishop I would give him a shoulder hug and say thanks for giving me such important information. If I was in bpric, I’d know that I shouldn’t call him into a teacher position. The council was working on answering discussion questions, so I suggested we talk more about leadership, duty, callings and he was all over it. For the next 10 minutes I espoused my own philosophy about ministering — keep the Stake at bay with the reporting, don’t use guilt trips, don’t chase less actives but put the effort into making the sunday experience good. Our WArds strategic plan would be an expression of the strengths and passions of the people in place at that time. I won’t go into it all, you’ve probably heard it all here. At the end, he said “You should get back into leadership again”.

I replied “No, not here. They take us for granted. I don’t feel like a true philanthropist, but simply someone who gets with the program to be a member in full standing. Love is deeply conditional. Fall off the wagon regarding willingness to serve in leadership while still living all the commandments and you’re in the out group! You have only a limited pool of people draw on, so people end up serving out of duty and many do a mediocre job. It’s frustrating. In my community service, I have the whole world on which to draw, and I now work only with the best and brightest. It’s SUCH a more efficient use of my time and more rewarding. I learned that human needs are unlimited — there is as much to do outside the church as inside it. I can design processes and be a visionary without constraints, like the handbook, and I’m not locked into ineffective programs that take decades to change.”

He looked kind of envious. He then commented on how he has a relative who is Bishop-capable, but will never be a Bishop because he’s not a yes-man. That they want a yes-man. I think he was implying the same about me. Which is fine! I hope he takes what I said back to the leadership at some point (he’s still in leadership in EQ counselorship). It was therapeutic for me to share what I really think, and I feel my arguments were compelling.

Now, he voluntarily left our conversation and joined a group for discussion about teaching. And he saw me talking about all the standard stuff — teaching with the spirit, quality, providing a quality experience for members who attend, being prepared — all supportive, non-apostate things. So, he knows I’m being supportive and not infecting the class with apostate thoughts.

I felt authentic yet faithful at the same time.

I don’t think the church realizes that it competes for our disposable time. And the onus is on the church to try to make the experience of being a Mormon a fulfilling one for people. I know you have to be careful of creating a culture of entitlement, but nothing is stopping the church from looking hard at those things that are drugerous and can be lopped off, minimized, or improved….all to try to make the experience of being a Mormon — particularly for people who have seen it all and done it all.