Are My Beliefs Really My Own?

Part of making a belief a part of your personal faith narrative requires studying that belief, and evaluating how many of your resources you wish to and/or are able to devote to it.

The liberating part of a faith transition for me has been focusing on some fundamentals like the principle of Charity. I am also giving serious thought to ethics and philosophy – what it means to be human (for me personally), and what does it mean to me to believe something (and why).

The scary thing for me has been for this faith transition – how do I live my beliefs while living with my family?

The short answer: I don’t know – we do the best we can at the time.

The medium length answer: “First, do no harm” then “Don’t do something stupid that burns bridges unless you really need those flames”. “Say what needs to be said in common language (sheepese) and stand your ground respectfully (while knowing when to fold’em/retreat as needed)”. In some cases, BE THE CHANGE…

If I don’t understand the positive and negative implications of my beliefs, I don’t understand my beliefs – and, in reality, they are not fully mine.

I think this is mixing a couple of ideas. You will probably never know all the positive and negative implications of your beliefs. Also, thinking an implication is positive or negative is also a belief, which has its own positive or negative implications. And I’m not sure any beliefs are fully belonging to anyone who holds them. We develop beliefs from all sorts of outside sources, and hardly any of them (if any) are truly our own.

Take for example, as something hopefully non-controversial, birth control. At one point, many people were against birth control on these grounds:

1. It would make God angry

2. It would lead to promiscuity and hypersexualization.

3. It would prevent children from being born into righteous households.

4. It could cause unforseen health conequences in women.

5. It would cheapen sex/increase extra-marital sex, by removing negative consequences.

Etc.

But others supported it on these grounds:

1. Allows family planning, allowing couples to adjust the number of children they have according to their circumstances, capabilities, and desires.

2. Allows couples to enjoy the benefits of sex without being worried about having children.

3. Allows women to enjoy intimate relationships, while keeping their their aspirations open.

4. Removes the some of negative consequences of sex.

5. Keeps children from being born into families that “aren’t ready”, especially teenagers.

Etc.

There is some definite overlap in these areas. In fact, depending on what side you fall, the reasons of the other side might seem negative to you, while positive to them, and visa versa. For example, is it the duty of all fertile women to have children? We’d say no, but many who used to oppose birth control (and some who still do) say “yes”. Some are contingent upon beliefs which are unproveable, such as what God wants, or what should be a human right. If we’re talking about “implications of my beliefs”, what exactly is an “implication” is highly up to debate, depending on what you value, and what other beliefs you hold.

Ironically, dande48, I think your comment highlights exactly what I take from the quote: It is the difficult effort to analyze something from all possible angles, even if that is not possible fully, that makes a belief truly one’s own.

Of course, our beliefs don’t develop in vacuums, so they aren’t solely of our own making, but they still can be our own if we understand how and why other people see them as positive and/or negative and if we understand the implications (as opposed to only the most obvious elements). Without that effort, they truly aren’t our own.

We talk a lot here about how faith transitions can be extremely difficult, but we also talk a lot about how discovering our own beliefs (rather than our former communal beliefs) is empowering and liberating – even when we choose to stay involved in the same community whose generalized beliefs we no longer accept fully for ourselves. It often is the painful journey that produced that growth and eventual (relative) peace – because we found ourselves in situations that required we look at our beliefs squarely and as comprehensively as possible and alter some/many of them to become our own.

I like those alterations, Sam.

Heber,

I think there are multiple pieces to this. first and foremost is to consider the full quote.

If I don’t understand the positive and negative implications of my beliefs, I don’t understand my beliefs – and, in reality, they are not fully mine.

Curt’s paraphrase is helpful

It is the difficult effort to analyze something from all possible angles, even if that is not possible fully, that makes a belief truly one’s own.

I saw a Christian book recently that said something like “Christianity in the modern world: find out what you believe about a host of current events.”

I chuckled at this because it assumes that because I am a Christian, I should believe a certain way about a specific subject. “How helpful that they wrote this book to explain exactly how I believe lest I have an independent and divergent thought!” 😮 I believe the quote from the OP suggests that if you are just adopting group beliefs wholesale as your own then they are not really yours?

All my beliefs are a construct of my own thinking. However I came to that…when I acknowledge I have a belief…it is mine at that point.

This is a good thought that I would like to explore. What does it take to have ownership of something? Do we ever own anything in the ultimate sense? It would seem that in most situations there are degrees of ownership and value can be found both in claiming something and in learning to let go.

Thanks Roy.

I believe the quote from the OP suggests that if you are just adopting group beliefs wholesale as your own then they are not really yours?

Interesting thought.

there are degrees of ownership and value can be found both in claiming something and in learning to let go.

I do think letting go is a good thing to learn as well. Especially letting go of some beliefs and being open to new ones.

For the first time in my life, I believe I am 100% responsible for figuring out what my ethical and moral code is. In other words, I am taking ownership of my moral and ethical choices – 1 choice at a time.

Sounds like AmyJ is owning her beliefs.

I don’t consider it accurate. Heck, you make decisions all the time without really knowing the implications of them. Does understanding implications equate to ownership? I would say “no”. This statement implies you have to be a visionary with perfect judgment to truly own your beliefs.

The test as to whether the beliefs are really your own are if you believe they are your own. Now, at times, you might decide you no longer own the beliefs — that you thought they were your own, but life experiences have caused you to believe otherwise. But that doesn’t make those beliefs someone else’s for the time you embraced them as truth.

I am with SD on this one. So much of whatever we believe comes from outside sources. School teachers, books we read, neighborhood conversations, even church. We take them, process them, make decisions on them and then change as experiences change. Everyone does it the same way.