Kirby on his own faith transition

See, not all Mormons are like that. We’re a variety of opinions, backgrounds, beliefs and interpretations. If what you see is only the stereotype, then you aren’t thinking deeply enough. But go ahead if it works for you.

This ^ has been a sore spot for me all my membership life. Whether through cultural influences, or more insidious influences like policies and letters, we aren’t as accepting as I interpret Jesus Christ to have desired.

Decades before the idea of faith crisis I watched my childhood ward judge the “Mormon-ness” and value of so many people. Eventually even my parents were gently dismissed as not being enough.

I think this is what gripes me most about the necessity of a name change. It’s not what we call ourselves that makes us who we are. It’s what we do and how we do it that makes all the difference.

I think this is what gripes me most about the necessity of a name change. It’s not what we call ourselves that makes us who we are. It’s what we do and how we do it that makes all the difference.

I hesitate to make this comment but it follows my experiences and it’s also addressed by Kirby in the article.

Second are gospel-gestapo Mormons, staunch members who proposed to dictate their own understanding as the only way I should think (and act) about the church. For teaching me what I would never want to be, I say thank you.

The name change has given the gospel-gestapo something to police others over. Coming up with ways to correct each other, elevate self by finding fault in others, is a part of what we do and a part of who we are. That’s probably less a church thing and more a simple human nature thing. Do new polices we make move us closer or further away from the gospel-gestapo? Any policy needs a police man.

I brought all that up to point out the futility of stereotyping Mormons. Say the word “Mormon” and if the first image that springs into your head is a negative one — suit, tie, short hair, self-righteous attitude about everything — then it’s your problem and not theirs.

See, not all Mormons are like that. We’re a variety of opinions, backgrounds, beliefs and interpretations. If what you see is only the stereotype, then you aren’t thinking deeply enough. But go ahead if it works for you.

I don’t think it’s necessary but I’ll preface this anyway – everyone’s experience is unique. I’ve got a problem. I feel that we do a very good job of running off anyone that doesn’t fit the stereotype. I’m currently feeling the squeeze. I’m not fitting the stereotype but there’s an immense amount of pressure to do so. Frankly it’s starting to feel like I have to leave if I want to be myself.

I agree that we do run the full spectrum of belief and behavior but the issue is that only one type of belief and behavior can enjoy its moment in the sun. The rest of the spectrum exists in some level of shadow.

I agree that we do run the full spectrum of belief and behavior but the issue is that only one type of belief and behavior can enjoy its moment in the sun. The rest of the spectrum exists in some level of shadow.

I am seeing this for lots of people. Only Star bellied Sneetches allowed.

Frankly, that is as much a function of isolation and numerical domination as anything else. Both of those factors breed extremism – in ALL organizations. Individual leaders can buck the trend, but even they are subject more to boundary policing.

I see it at geographically-isolated religious schools, no matter where they are and almost regardless of denominational affiliation. Those in areas where their religion/denomination dominate nearly always are much more homogenous than their peer schools in more populated, diverse areas.

I’m glad it’s gotten better

I actually think Evangelicalism has made it worse. When I was a kid, and the born-again craze hadn’t begun, the constant religious chatter and comparison didn’t happen. Or if it did I didn’t see it.

Looking back there were a handful of less than perfect believers in my ward growing up, but they were happy attending or at least pretended to be.

As a church though, during the 1970’s we weren’t so focused on truth claims, etc. Family Home Evening, Food storage, adopting Lamanite kids, fund raising for new buildings, church sports leagues, ward dinners where you brought your neighbors were the focus. We didn’t have “Every member a missionary yet.” Even when we did we were still working on the other stuff. President Kimball gave a whole talk with lists of things every “Mormon” should do. It included tearing down broken barns and rebuilding dilapidated fences.

Then the mid-80’s brought bold Evangelicalism to the forefront, from there “proving your religion” took off. We are now so busy with that, we have totally forgotten about caring, (real caring, not assigned caring) and the rest.

Brother Jones, the non-believing janitor who carries life savers in his pocket for kids, and let’s the ward use his swimming pool – has no room in our story at present.

I’m glad it’s gotten better

I actually think Evangelicalism has made it worse. When I was a kid, and the born-again craze hadn’t begun, the constant religious chatter and comparison didn’t happen. Or if it did I didn’t see it.

Lol, Mom, I was thinking of Brigham Young calling out for the blood of apostates, the punishments of the endowment, the religious persecution in Europe in the 17th century… Along with what Curt said, I am SO GRATEFUL we live in a society with as much religious diversity as we have. Anytime there is one religion or movement dominating, there is extreme persecutions of all others. When there are two groups dominating, there is civil war. But when there is a large amount of ideological diversity, people tend to get along, and even grow.