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So, last fall I tried a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte for the first time. It blew my mind, perfect balance of sweet and bitter and made me feel like I could conquer the world. I would occasionally stop and get one. After the holidays, I switched to vanilla or hazelnut lattes and have finally worked my way up to enjoying black coffee, which is much healthier. There are two negative things about this secret habit: 1. Having to be sneaky, luckily my spouse has been supportive and doesn’t care, but I have to look over my shoulder for people I know and hope no one from my ward spots me and also avoiding my older kids seeing me; 2. The cost adds up and I’m trying to decide how to make this more affordable and feasible (the answer is brewing my own and I’m trying to figure out if that would work with family members, etc.).
Other than that, it’s been a great thing. 1. I feel really good, like I can conquer the world, very optimistic and happy in the mornings when I have coffee. 2. It is an appetite suppressant, I eat less before lunch when I have it; 3. It seems to aid digestion; 4. I love the ritual of sipping and enjoying it while I read the news, I don’t know if I’ve experienced a way to stop and enjoy the mornings in the past, it’s not the same with hot chocolate or herbal tea; 5. It’s weened me off of soda (once I switched to black coffee) and now Coke doesn’t taste as good and I don’t crave it. 6. It tastes great with savory breakfast foods (don’t love the pairing with sweet stuff).
Now I am highly conflicted, I really enjoy it and feel like it is a positive addition to my life. But, I don’t like sneaking around and feeling like a hypocrite with ward members. Anyone else found themselves in this dilemma?
I blame my genetics, my late Idaho grandma was a lifelong temple recommend-holding closet coffee drinker.
I have it on good authority that they’ll be announcing something that you may love during the October ’19 general conference. Look for it right after the announcement that tells all those extremely patient missionaries how long their mission will be.
First off, if you’re to drink coffee – which I don’t recommend except as a shortcut to heart attacks, insomnia, bowel cancer and epilepsy – don’t drink Starbucks. Their stuff is really frothy. Go for one of the better independents. Giving up coffee is one of the best things I’ve done along with quitting alcohol. My sleep patterns are good now for one, and depression and anxiety have decreased. That and I have less tooth decay.
Quote:It seems to aid digestion
It doesn’t. It is a diurectic and removes water from your body. It is also a major cause of bowel trouble and will harden your stool, which can cause all kinds of troubles down there.
nibbler wrote:
I have it on good authority that they’ll be announcing something that you may love during the October ’19 general conference.Look for it right after the announcement that tells all those extremely patient missionaries how long their mission will be.
I heard that about the last conference too…
Well you are a step ahead of our family. My husband tends to be bold and just started drinking coffee. It threw me for a loop – that’s a mild response. Ironically my non-temple connected grandmother drank coffee (smoked cigarettes, too). I adored her. The smell of brewing coffee is romantic to me. I never thought less of her. Ever. But temple worthy, EQP, Seminary teacher, valiant missionary ZL does it and I flip. My world crashes. I can barely function. Now a decade later, it’s part of his day. My family works through it silently. They don’t even mention it to me, but I know them enough, to know they are internally working on it. The good news is, tons of members I know get coffee shop drinks and don’t think twice about it. There are tea’s, cocoa’s, steamers, you name it. So if anyone caught you, don’t worry they likely had a cup o’ something, too.
And as to Nibblers insight. Don’t hold your breath. If we did away with the WoW – we really would be Christian and not until pigs fly is that going to happen.
mom3 wrote:
And as to Nibblers insight. Don’t hold your breath. If we did away with the WoW – we really would be Christian and not until pigs fly is that going to happen.
We aren’t the only church with a health code, by the way. I don’t think it plays either way to be honest in that sense.
The WoW is one of the best things this church has.
If we wanted to make the LDS more mainstream, then probably elimating secret ceremonies and latter-day scriptures would be the way to go.
nibbler wrote:
I have it on good authority that they’ll be announcing something that you may love during the October ’19 general conference.Look for it right after the announcement that tells all those extremely patient missionaries how long their mission will be.
I hope that good authority is divine and foolproof. I was really disappointed about this one last session. My wife and I were ready to sign up for starbucks cards and had a trip planned.
The more they can get rid of nuisance rules the better. I never believed that abstaining from coffee and tea was somehow a great idea. Now, harmful drugs, alcohol, tobacco — makes sense. But not those other two.
Please don’t disappoint me Nibbler! You’re my only hope (implying Star Wars).
nibbler wrote:
I have it on good authority that they’ll be announcing something that you may love during the October ’19 general conference.Look for it right after the announcement that tells all those extremely patient missionaries how long their mission will be.
Haha.. I laughed out loud. Good thing I wasn’t drinking coffee right then, or I would have spewed the brew (sbrewed?) all over my keyboard and monitor.My doctor told me that the only beverages she wanted me to consume were water, coffee, and tea. I do not imagine that coffee and tea are without negative health affects but there appear to be trade offs. How to implement a coffee habit into a Mormon family and community is another challenge altogether. I recommend being completely transparent with your spouse. You can determine jointly with her how much to inform your kids.
Not to change the subject. In our community, there is a coffee shop somehow connected to the Evangelical Church next door. The name of the shop is: Holy Grounds.
Quote:The name of the shop is: Holy Grounds.
Brilliant!!!
Just throwing out here that if you subscribe to the idea that iced coffee or tea are not by definition “hot” then you have that out. Also, I remember reading an article a few years ago about what Mormons could get at Starbucks and it was on an orthodox site. So just going to Starbucks does not necessarily indicate “sinful behavior.” “All trees produce something.” I think with most things, even things we “shouldn’t” do, have some benefit behind them. Otherwise we wouldn’t do it. Alcohol has benefits. Smoking has benefits. Painkillers have benefits. Porn has benefits. Adultery has benefits… etc. You get the idea.
But there are still certain behaviors we should avoid, because the drawbacks are greater than the benefits. And there are behaviors we should embrace, not because of a lack of drawbacks, but because the benefits outweigh them. But it’s also very easy to rationalize doing the wrong thing, since we can always find reasons it is right. And it’s easy to avoid doing the right thing because we can find so many reasons why it’s wrong.
I guess coffee is like that. Drink it if you’re willing to put up with the consequences (both good and bad). Don’t drink it if you don’t want to deal with those consequences. I’d say the same for just about anything.
Felixfabulous, I started drinking coffee in earnest about 2 years ago. Prior to that I would sample some here and there, but the barriers to entry (family considerations, WoW, visibility, etc) prevented me from acting on it further. As a general rule, I avoid sugary and diet sodas, sugar in general, and try to be moderate in my nutritional habits.
My gateway coffee drink was a mocha latte, then skinny mocha latte, then machiatto or normal latte, and now my usual is an americano. Black, no sweetener. Sometimes milk, sometimes no. Sometimes hot, sometimes iced. I ADORE coffee. I enjoy the stimulant. I love the bitterness. I enjoy the coffee shop atmosphere. I enjoy talking and meeting people in those environments. I enjoy taking a moment to myself to read the news or listen to a podcast while I’m sipping a cup of my drink of choice that day. Presumably I could achieve these experiences and feelings in other areas and in other places, but I haven’t. At least up to now.
As others have stated, I would not recommend that you do any of this in secret. I know this is easier said than done. My wife is aware that I drink it. She may not be aware of the frequency (which is more days than not). We agree to disagree on coffee (like many other things). That all said, she has picked me up a drink or two in the past from Starbucks. We go to coffee shops regularly together. I order what I want, and she usually orders a steamer or a herbal tea. I would love to have a espresso machine in my house. I’m hoping that by next year this time I do. I will save a lot of money, that’s for sure.
Just like shopping on Sunday, I have been surprised by the people I run into in coffee shops. Generally we share a wink and move along to our respective business. Some are very uncomfortable when they see me and recognize me. I have a “coffee” meeting with a ward member friend of mine once or twice a month. We both hold high level callings. He has a TR. I do not. Neither of us see a problem with what we are doing. We recognize that others in our ward and families would disagree with us. I no longer care what others will say about me if they see me with a cup of coffee. I have learned that more people are shall we say “flexible” with the word of wisdom then I ever imagined. I have no answer for why this is other than the idea that they, like me, are charting their own course.
I’m not holding my breath for the church to change it’s position. I wanted them to. When it didn’t happen, I was disappointed. Upon reflection, I’m glad things didn’t change. I joke that my coffee wouldn’t taste as good. But the main reason I’m glad is that I don’t want to process why something the church has taught as evil and unhealthy is suddenly okay. I have been paying particular attention this past six months or so, and there has not been ONE Sunday that has gone by that the word of wisdom has NOT been mentioned. We have an ironically unhealthy fascination with the word of wisdom. We get caught up in practices in place of doctrine. This is a giant pet peeve of mine.
I really like Dande’s thought on consequences. I live my life that way. In most the things I do, I anticipate the best and worst consequences of that decision. If I am willing to accept the worst case consequence, then I will go forward. If I do not, then I will not. That is how my conscience is governed.
Enjoyed the thoughts, glad to hear some are in the same boat. I just really enjoy it, like Rumin8, it’s such a great way to take time and enjoy one’s surroundings or reading the news while sipping on the coffee. I haven’t had the same experience with other drinks. I’ve thought about shopping for a prescription for it, that would be totally silly and unnecessary, but may give me some cover to be a little more open with my kids and around town. I’m glad I was honest from my wife from the get-go and that she has been supportive and been able to laugh about it.
felixfabulous wrote:
I’m glad I was honest from my wife from the get-go and that she has been supportive and been able to laugh about it.
And that is an asset. Last week I found that V8 makes an energy drink that’s half juice and half green tea. I bought some to try. I like it. My wife won’t touch it because it contains green tea (even though the ingredients do state green tea extract). Even the “it’s not a hot drink” argument doesn’t wash. Be glad for what you have.
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