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In my current professional situation, I am working extensively with recovering addicts – both alcohol and other drugs. The large majority of those people have been in and out of treatment multiple times but keep trying to get clean and sober. There effort is inspiring, but . . . It is heartbreaking to see them document their drug usage history and realize what a huge majority of them began drinking alcohol from age 10-14, with some even earlier. It also is enlightening to see how many started using other drugs shortly after their alcohol usage began. Finally, it is disheartening to realize how many addicts never make it to treatment and how many fail in the long run even if they do receive treatment. It hurts me emotionally to see someone with whom I am working relapse when they are trying so hard. Alcohol and many drug addictions stunt emotional growth and almost freeze it at the point of initial regular consumption, which makes it extremely difficult to recover.
I always have been grateful that I never have faced the possibility of becoming an addict. I never had to wonder where my limit was or worry about crossing it and not being able to step back to the manageable side of the line. I have never had to face the possibility of getting impaired to the point of being passed around for sex – or losing many thousands of dollars – or never being able to keep a job – and the list goes on and on.
For all of my intellectual issues with how the Word of Wisdom is enforced, as well as being somewhat outdated in some ways, I am grateful it was something I was taught as a child, adolescent, and young adult. In the end, the pros have vastly outnumbered the cons.
I am very thankful that I am very far removed from drunk driving. The way people at my workplace talk it sounds as though many have done it at least once. It seems scary and stupidly reckless to me. This is interesting Curt. The population I work with is younger, generally 15 to 17. Likewise, many of them started at 10 and sometimes younger. Part of program for our kids is they get drug treatment, whether they need it or not (we have several programs so it is somewhat tailored). The need it or not part is tongue-in-cheek – sort of like my Grandpa who took a bath every Saturday whether he needed it or not. Curt, your professional situation does sound very interesting. Addiction is an interesting subject & multi faceted. I’m sure that no 2 addicts or alcoholics are the same. You said: …
Quote:I am grateful it was something I was taught as a child, adolescent, and young adult. In the end, the pros have vastly outnumbered the cons.
Being taught in the home & church the Word of Wisdom is no guarantee that you will not become an addict. For example:
– Family history & DNA is a factor.
– Family & community culture is a factor.
– When you joined the church (child or adult) can be another factor.
Have you come in contact with church members that are addicts?
How does their addiction & recovery differ from non-members?
I didn’t mean to imply Mormons, or even just “faithful” ones or ones from well-functioning families, won’t become addicts. I understand it is much more complicated than that. The large majority of active members I know who became addicts (those who were active throughout their childhood and adolescents) got there in much the same way the non-members did – except that they started later in life. (not all, by any means, but most of them) They still face the same issues as other addicts once they are addicted, but the later use and addiction give them one advantage in terms of the time period of “emotional freeze”. They tend to be somewhat more emotionally mature and, therefore, able to process the requirements of sobriety somewhat better than those who became addicted earlier in life.
On the other hand, there often is even more guilt and shame they need to overcome due to the religious taboo element.
Abstinence from tobacco, alcohol and drugs was something that actually attracted me to the church in the first place. DW and I recently celebrated our anniversary. We stayed in a very nice hotel and when we were being shown to our room it was pointed out that we were being offered a complimentary bottle of champagne. I am still active and hold a calling but do not currently hold a recommend – still sorting out my faith issues. I also do not see things nearly as black and white as I once did so I decided to go ahead and have a glass. I should point out that DW has always been the more moderate of the two of us with regard to the church and had no problems with my choice – which is wonderful for me. That said, it was probably the most disgusting thing I ever drank. I’m assuming the complimentary bottle isn’t “top shelf” but I would also assume that a hotel as nice as this one was would not be giving away garbage booze as a way of welcoming its customers. I know most people in this country love the stuff but man, I sure feel like I haven’t been missing much by abstaining from alcohol. From a more faith-promoting perspective, 5-10 years ago I was approaching middle age and in need of more effective ways to stay physically healthy. Previous to that point in my life I would simply start a daily jogging routine until the weight came off to my satisfaction. For some reason, the efficacy of that wore off after my 30s and for the first time in my life I found myself limiting my caloric intake in an effort to lose weight. It was difficult. Having never even tried alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, coffee, etc I had little experience in mastering my body’s desire to consume. Watching what I ate was an interesting experience for me. As I lost weight and gained mastery over the food I ate, I noticed mastery and control in other, seemingly unrelated areas of my life (control of thoughts, more desire to help others, etc.) For me it was sort of like cross-training. I saw a video of the MMA fighter Conor McGregor riding a bike as part of his training regiment and it sort of clicked for me that just like bike-riding can help a fighter, watching what I eat can help in areas of my life I might not expect. For me, it was a fascinating and unexpected lesson in the value of the WoW.
Like others have said, I have issues with how we observe the WoW, but I also appreciate that I’m not dependent on alcohol from an addiction standpoint or as a prerequisite to have fun. My eyes were somewhat opened recently when a good friend of mine who’s an ER doctor in a predominantly LDS community told me that in his opinion it would be less harmful to society to have legal marijuana than legal alcohol. Not that he was (or that I am) taking a stance on marijuana, he explained to me how incredibly addictive alcohol really is. I think he said it’s probably in the top 3 drugs for ease of getting addicted, which I hadn’t known. Virtually all of my non-LDS friends drink regularly and it looks like they have a great time doing it, but I suspect I’m not missing all that much in the long run.
I totally agree about alcohol, tobacco and drugs. I think they are all addictive and can ruin lives and am grateful I made it to this point in life without getting involved in any of those. I have yet to hear anyone make a good case for why abstaining from tea and coffee makes sense for health or for avoiding addiction. We usually leave those off the list because there are no good arguments to be made. The WofW is an interesting part of our church culture. Although I have some concerns around how we practice and enforce it, I am also really grateful for it. I think it instilled in me from a really young age the idea that God wants us to keep our bodies healthy. I am certainly not perfect, but that has shaped my approach to drugs and alcohol, but also other healthful life practices. I like beer. I drink it from time to time but never feel I have to have it. For me personally I draw the line at fermented/brewed vs distilled alcohol. They are different animals to me. I would never drink Vodka but wine or beer on occasion seems just fine. In fact as I recall the word of wisdom allows for both of those.
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I saw an interview with Warren Buffett recently. He was speaking to a High School class in his hometown. He said to the students
Quote:Imagine that you are going to receive a new car at no cost. The only catch is: it is the only one you will have in your lifetime. This is true for the bodies you were given. The questions is: how will you treat them?
The teaching of the church & especially the Word of Wisdom reinforce this better than any other organization I know of.
But lIfe isn’t perfect.
What happens when “life” happens and addiction occurs?
What happens next?
The answer to these questions are harder to answer.
I chose not to drink, not because of my religion, but because of a series of events, lives, and lessons that life placed in front of me. The general appeal was wiped out. I come from a history of alcoholic’s. (They were members of the church, too. Crossed the Plains, etc.)
Though I didn’t get direct lectures about it, nor did I see it face to face, the impact of the addiction was all around. As a kid I didn’t know that the tears being shed in a phone call had anything to do with it. As a teen I could put pieces together.
Addictions can be destructive. We are learning that genetics play a role. Not just choice. It just doubles the problem when it has a genetic component.
Because of church membership it was easy to not engage in substances that could send me down that road. But I also lived outside of Utah. Alcohol was common place in the world I knew. Lots of people can drink socially and be okay. Not all. You don’t know until you are on the road. Over the years I watched teen friends get plastered. Then beg me not to rat them out to coaches, parents, friends. When I moved into the corporate world, I met a whole new angle. All the lives hiding behind their addiction. The cars they totaled, the one night stands on trips, the multiple marriages and personal family fallouts. 90% were alcohol related.
Is it a cop out to miss this experience because, “I’m a Mormon?” – I don’t know. I just know I am glad did.
One thing I probably did not make as clear as I could have is my gratitude that I was not raised in an environment where alcohol consumption was accepted and even encouraged as early as 8-16 years old – when SO many people aren’t advanced emotionally and neurologically to make a conscious choice whether or not to drink and, if they drink, how much to drink. Even people who start drinking as adults don’t fully understand their limits until they cross them, and a reasonable percentage of those adults can’t stop crossing the line once they cross it the first time. They only way to know where my own line is would be to cross it – and my gratitude is primarily that I have never crossed it and had to hope I could stop crossing it. I never had to face the possibility of becoming an alcoholic (or drug addict), especially at an age when that would have been exponentially more likely.
If you can handle casual, occasional, social drinking without becoming addicted, great. You rolled the dice and didn’t lose. I glad I didn’t have to roll the dice and find out whether or not I would lose or not lose. (I can’t say “win”, since I don’t see it as a win. I see it in those cases as a neutral outcome or as the avoidance of losing.)
I was raised in an environment where alcohol use was accepted and encouraged. Like Mom, I have several alcoholics in my family, including my grandmother who raised me. Also like Mom, I choose not to drink not because of my religion but because I fear I might have the genetic disposition to addiction. I know what it’s like to live with an alcoholic. It’s not fun. The church does make it easier not to drink, particularly if most of your associations are with members.
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