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Welcome ghost,

Growing up is hard. It sounds like you had a decent upbringing that helped you to become a productive adult with a good head on your shoulders.

I will speak mostly to the priesthood blessing and worthiness part.

I just don’t think I myself am worthy [snip] with the Priesthood. Things get awkward when someone in my family needs a blessing. And I hesitate.

I feel that it is sad that we at church have beat this worthiness drum to death. Priesthood is God’s power – if it required worthiness to weild then only God and Jesus would be allowed to hold it. IMO priesthood blessings are an opportunity to give service in a way that builds relationships and hope for the future. IMO worthiness or sinlessness doesn’t really enter into the equation. Does the person want you to give them a blessing? Are you able to express positive feelings for that person and speak to your hopes for that person in a priesthood ritual prayer format? Then go ahead and give the blessing. I don’t think God needs you to be “worthy” in order to help someone else.

I have seen the Assembly of God church do prayer circles for people that are in bad times. They (men and women) surround the person in need and reach out and put a hand on that person and pray together. This IMO is a functional equivalent to LDS priesthood blessings with no worthiness issues involved.

Please feel free to comment on any of the discussions here.

Ghost,

I often felt I never loved up to my parents standards and just disappointed them to a degree.

I am now a middle aged parent of teenager children. Despite our middle of the road approach to church, we still have really high standards for our kids. My daughter pushes boundaries and we are constantly getting after her. She is doing stuff like sneaking extra screen time, sneaking her phone to a youth activity, and sneaking media that is not age appropriate. I know that all of this stuff is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things but rules are rules and DD pushes those boundaries. When it comes right down to it we are really proud of her and we are impressed to see the person that she is growing into. She is a good, smart, and resilient kid.

After all they see all my peers who are married now, have great jobs, kids and a home. Meanwhile I’m still single and not even close to dating again.

Didn’t you say that you are attending Grad School? Cut yourself some slack! At this point I am just worried about getting my children into college. All of those things may not be right for you right now. Marriage? Getting married too soon to the wrong person is so much worse than being single. Great Jobs? Some people have great jobs others hate their jobs but are not going to go around talking about it. You can never tell what’s going on under the hood. Assuming that their life is great and then wishing you were more like them is never helpful. Kids and a home? These are good and nice but also can be VERY expensive. To everything there is a season. It sounds like this is not your season for these things.

What I feel is helpful is trying your best to be the best version of you in the here and now that you can. Maybe that is about studying hard for school, participating in YSA as much as you feel comfortable, and looking into job opportunities/potential employers for when you graduate.

I know it is easier said than done buuuuut … beating yourself up and feeling like a disappointment for not being in a different place in your life might actually be counterproductive and self defeating for the phase of your life that you are actually in right now.

I did not serve a mission. Mostly for medical reasons.

I did not serve a mission until I was nearly 21. I know some of the pressure and related social dynamics that come with that. I am sorry.

I also struggle with my YSA ward. I struggle with shyness and therefore I struggle getting there. I would often just attend my parents homeward because of this. Another reason I have struggled with attending my YSA ward is a lot of people in it are some of the very people I dealt with growing up. And lets just say, my experience as a Youth growing up in the church was not pleasant. I was often bullied, excluded and so on.

I too was bullied in HS and excluded from church group cliques. Sometimes a change of scenery can be very helpful in feeling differently about yourself. I know that church did away with student/college wards and visiting another YSA ward might be daunting for your shyness but have you thought about ward hopping?

Anyway – to reiterate, you seem like a quality guy to me. Lean into your strengths.

Paradoxically, you are broken and insufficient (to do and be all that you want to). But you are also exaclty what you were created to become. You fulfill the order of your creation and therefore you are enough and worthy. Everything in the time and season thereof.

I am here because I want to maintain this part of my life. I grew up in the church, and I just need a good support community like this one. Glad I found it.

Welcome! We are glad you found us. We are all in similar boats and it is helpful to know that we are not alone.