Tithing

Curt, thanks for sharing what works for you.. It does seem easier to pay tithing for the people and not nessaserally the church itself. Thank you also for sharing what you are now considering doing and your truth that you might not do it.

I have a lot to figure out about the temple before it would be something i could do. But maybe i can pay my tithing for my mom and the people i do know that go. I drive by the temples at times and still think they are.pretty buildings. I could pay just to keep our cities pretty. When i went to the temple in the passed i went mostly to feel the peace there and to receive personal revelation. Even before my faith crisis really began i really didn’t go to the endowment sessions. I think that part would even be harder now. I dont feel like i can go now anyways with me missing so much church.

Any ways i appreciate your experience. I pay on my net pay as well. But also have paid when i get my taxes back.

With you considering other options it makes me think about mine. I have paid on my income for the month but have just not paid on child support. I have paid in the passed for that because my mom did when she got child support. Not that its my daughters decision, but Im sure if she knew i was paying she wouldn’t want it paid. I guess i just need to decide how i feel about it. I have it planned for the month to pay it, i just havent.

I feel that it is wrong to teach that tithing will bring financial blessings. I do not think that this is supported with research and it seems that it would be fairly easy to prove it if it was true. I would prefer if the church said explicitly that God rewards tithing with non-tangible blessings (things like peace, honor, human dignity and a refocus of our priorities away from money).

Paying tithing for the purpose of having a TR and being seen as a contributing member of the ward in full standing is also a benefit. Many communities have some sort of dues or membership fees. This can be our version.

I don’t really have more to add to what Curt, Gerald and Roy have said. I pay tithing on net and also consider paying on increase from time to time. I don’t pay with the expectation of benefit but I do benefit from having a warm building in the winter and cool building in the summer, a picnic in the summer and party in the winter, and being able to go to the temple if I choose to. I strongly agree with Roy about not promising personal temporal blessings for paying. I also disagree with the idea of paying tithing then your other obligations, especially in times of financial stress.

Yes, temples are paid for by tithing, including construction and upkeep and the beautiful gardens. The same is true for Temple Square and all other visitor centers and sites. Tithing also pays for maintenance of buildings, including groundskeeping and snow removal. Employees of the church are paid from tithing as is general/area authority travel. Translation and publication of scriptures is paid from tithing, as are teaching materials and other manuals and media. There is probably other stuff I’m not thinking of.

I don’t really have more to add to what Curt, Gerald and Roy have said. I pay tithing on net and also consider paying on increase from time to time. I don’t pay with the expectation of benefit but I do benefit from having a warm building in the winter and cool building in the summer, a picnic in the summer and party in the winter, and being able to go to the temple if I choose to. I strongly agree with Roy about not promising personal temporal blessings for paying. I also disagree with the idea of paying tithing then your other obligations, especially in times of financial stress.

Yes, temples are paid for by tithing, including construction and upkeep and the beautiful gardens. The same is true for Temple Square and all other visitor centers and sites. Tithing also pays for maintenance of buildings, including groundskeeping and snow removal. Employees of the church are paid from tithing as is general/area authority travel. Translation and publication of scriptures is paid from tithing, as are teaching materials and other manuals and media. There is probably other stuff I’m not thinking of.

If the church / my leaders growing up taught that tithing is a symbolic way to demonstrate dedication to the church, similarly to accepting and fulfilling a calling, attending the temple or even getting baptized, i think it would be way easier for me to intentionally be willing to pay what is asked for and even more.

But the attitude and culture is that you are shamed, disappointing your family and risking your salvation if you don’t pay exactly what modern day brethren suggest. They even publicly said that you should pay tithing before bills, groceries and rent. This attitude argues that if you’re financially struggling, you should depend on the church to help you. I’d rather avoid a middle man in any situation, and if that means i don’t pay my tithing at all, then so be it. Juts don’t go to my or my children’s face and say that we are disappointing God. Let God be the judge of that one.

Juts don’t go to my or my children’s face and say that we are disappointing God. Let God be the judge of that one.

Yes, part of my effort to stayLDS has been visiting with my bishop once or twice a year and feeling like a deadbeat dad for non payment of tithes. Nobody has called me that. That is my own analogy to describe how it feels to me. I am reminded that I made covenants to pay and that I am welching on my commitment. I am reminded that tithing is a commandment and that I am disobedient by not paying. Lastly, I have been reminded how much it would mean to my wife for me to take her to the temple and do sessions. I know that my bishops have good hearts and mean well. They really do believe that paying tithing will somehow bless me and my family. I am humble, non-combative, agreeable, and display a hopeful attitude that my faith struggles may improve in the future. I feel that my continuing to put myself in this uncomfortable and somewhat ego bruising interview situation is a personal sacrifice that I make for my family. I want for them to grow up with the support and structure that the church community helps to provide and my enduring a yearly check-up with my bishop is just part of the package.

My deacon son paid a full tithe this year (or close enough that he felt comfortable declaring a full tithe). My 13 year old, young women class president daughter paid a partial tithe. She did not want to go to tithing settlement because of how little she had set aside for tithing. I praised her and told her that for a 13 year old to be contributing financially to her faith community was really an impressive thing to be proud of. At the Tithing Settlement, she was admonished/encouraged to make changes such that she would be a full tithe payer next year. I do wish that there was more positivity and praise for contributions that fall somewhere below 10% – especially for our youth. However, I recognize that this is not our way.

So when i read that you visit your bishop who reminds you of things i am certain you are already aware of, and then reminds your children the same, it makes me sad and feel less willing to see my local bishop. Each bishop is different, but i’m not obvious to how the church has historically dwelt with tithing and i don’t feel comfortable giving up my own hard work for something i don’t believe in.

It actually helps that I know most everything that he might say. I am more or less prepared. The assumption is that I owe the church money. To challenge that assumption would be to challenge the authority of the church. I believe the my local bishop would not react well to a challenge of church authority. Therefore, the default assumption remains that I owe the church money.

The good news is that I have been successful staying connected to the ward. My son passes the sacrament on Sundays and rubs shoulders with boys that for the most part have been kind to him. My daughter is a leader among the YW and is developing social relationships and leadership and organization skills. I hold a calling in the scouting program that I can perform even with testimony issues. I have been permitted to baptize, confirm, and ordain my children at appropriate moments. It is not perfect but it is GOOD. I am willing to submit to a guilt trip now and then to avoid rocking the boat.

Not paying tithing but continuing to go to tithing settlements is my compromise – my middle way. I fully respect others that pay a 10% on gross tithe, a 10% on net tithe, a 10% on increase tithe, or some other calculation that feels right in the individual’s heart. All of these are legitimate options. Most of them have the benefit of being able to answer “Yes” to the question of “Do you pay a full and honest tithe?” which really simplifies the bishopric roulette issue. A yes is a yes is a yes.

P.S. I go into to tithing settlement alone and then invite my family into the office once my portion is done. My children do not know my tithing or TR status. I believe that they think I pay a full tithe.