Churches and child sexual abuse

Moderator note:

1. Keep in mind our title is StayLDS and that is also our purpose – to help those who desire navigate being able to remain members of the church.

Child sexual abuse occurs in all churches and church organizations around the world. I did not explicitly mention the LDS, and I would never do so. I also worked out these questions as a survivor of child sexual abuse. If you want to read my abuse story, I’d like to send it to you in a PM, it would only take a while.

2. Keeping # 1 in mind, “bashing” this or any other church or organization will not be tolerated.

I do not accuse any Church, not even ours, but try to address the subject based on my experience in order to seek solutions.

3. I’m not sure this post directly addresses # 1. For instance, I’m not sure specific conditions in the church (or any church) “make it easier for pedophiles to rape children.” Has it happened? Yes. Is it the church’s “fault?” No. In the past has child abuse been covered up? I think in some instances it has. Has the church taken steps to lessen the likelihood of it happening in the future? Yes. Could the church do more? Yes – we all could.

The celibacy in the Catholic Church, the thinking that men have the power, women not (a matter of equality), favor sexual abuse in churches. When asked whether it was the fault of the churches that this happened, I would, in my view, answer with a yes. Why?

Firstly, because these churches create a climate in which it is possible, because everyone is silent about it, and often enough blame the victim. In my case, my own mother, who knew what my so-called “father” had done to me; I had accused me of having taken her dearest, even though he had beaten and raped not only me, but also my sister (not his biological daughter) and her own. And the bishop, when I informed him of the abuse before killing my “father” (I didn’t want him to be convicted, only to stop his violence)? He believed the lies of my “father” and my mother, and accused me of lying. It was only his action that led to the killing of my “father” when I was 14.

In Germany, many children and young people were sexually abused in the Catholic Church. This church has protected pedophiles in its ranks for decades (including Pope Francis as cardinal in Argentina); pedophile priests in order to protect them from prosecution. In Germany, the Catholic Church is now prepared to pay up to 50,000 euros at the request of the survivors, along with medical treatment costs. A joke for survivors, because they know that most of them will never get this 50,000 euros, and moreover the decades-long cover-up, and that accuses the victims, can never outweigh this pain.

Can churches do more? Yes!

But even today, these churches are more preoccupied with protecting their own church and its reputation than the victims from the pedophile perpetrators.

That is my opinion on this.

All well and good, Gerlinde. But how does this relate to helping us or you StayLDS? That is our mission here, there are plenty of forums to discuss issues any any given topic. Our discussions should be centered around the mission.

DarkJedi, I have consciously chosen to write about child abuse in a general form, because child abuse is a problem in ALL CHURCHES and church institutions.

I think that if you look at the issue from different perspectives (victims, perpetrators, church leaders, social constructs), you can see what the causes of child abuse are and, as members, try to counteract this.

Let’s take a closer look at each wards when a child or adolescent is conspicuous! Let us ask if a child or youth is afraid of a member of their family or a member of the Church.

Here is a 1996 article on the consequences of child abuse in our Church:

Survival & Betrayal

Fourteen years ago, when I began practicing as a therapist in the field of child sexual abuse, I met adult victims of abuse who literally might not have survived if it had not been for the extraordinary support of compassionate bishops. At its best, the church system can work to help heal and improve individuals. However, when support is not given, and victims are disbelieved, blamed or are counseled not to pursue the matter, the individual is betrayed by his or her extended religious family in whom trust has been invested as freely as protective and nurturing parents.

From clients whose identities remain anonymous, I listened to stories of how their abuse was intertwined with their religious life and church leaders. John, a young man in his 20s, says “I was abused by my scout leader when I was 10. I tried to tell the bishop about it once. He asked me if I was gay. I never approached him again. I am no longer active in the church.”

Jane is in her mid-40s. While working in the travel industry for many years, she was in therapy for abuse she suffered from her father and grandfather for years when she was young. While her father was abusing her [he] was also her bishop and was widely respected in the ward. “I used to look up at him when he stood at the pulpit and I thought he was God. It’s still hard for me not to associate God and my father as one person, even after all these years of therapy.”

A Provo woman, Elaine, reported that after years of struggling alone, telling no one about being sexually abused by her father, she finally went to the stake president, with whom her father had served on the regional high council. His response was that he did not see how he could possibly judge events between her and her father. He therefore had to assume that her father was “an honorable man” because he held a high church office. She must be wrong, she was told.

Jamie had suffered guilt and self-hatred all her life. Intensely religious, she says for years she tried to tell bishops and others in the church of her abuse but she was always told to forgive and get on with her life. “I would go to church and feel different from everyone else and totally unworthy. I couldn’t ask for a temple recommend. I tried to fade into the background.” Recently she has finally found ways to express and process her feelings about the abuse through the help of her current bishop whom she says is supportive and understanding of her needs.

Kate who grew up in Salt Lake City, was repeatedly abused by a ward member between ages 7 and 9. Her sisters were also abused by this man. No one came to their aid. Years later, Kate and her sisters entered therapy to deal with their abuse. One day when Kate’s sister attended an LDS temple session, she was horrified to see their abuser serving as a temple worker.

She also learned that this man was serving as a volunteer with children at a local hospital. She called the hospital and reported him to personnel there. He was discontinued as a volunteer at the hospital. Kate and her sister wrote to this man’s bishop and explained the situation. They were told that they should forgive and forget; the bishop took no action against the man.

Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20120724203844/http://www.affirmation.org/news_1996/1996_05.shtml

Under the same link I found this story that shocked me. But it shows that nothing substantial has changed since the 1980s:

Backlash in Bountiful

During the mid-1980’s, information emerged about a child sexual abuse and pornography ring run by two counselors in a Bountiful bishopric and other adults in the ward. Eight children independently told their parents, police investigators and therapists how they were sexually abused by these ward members. Only one of the ward members named by the children, Brett Bullock, was prosecuted and is now in prison. Police records show that other ward members were not prosecuted, largely due to the fact that some parents considered their children too young and vulnerable and refused to let them testify in court.

However, in private, the children independently named the same adults and same events. Later, one child who had been abused pulled every hair out of her head, her eyelashes and eyebrows.

Parents of abused children in the ward were horrified by the abuse and sought response from their ward and stake church leaders but nothing happened. A few parents went further, to LDS general authorities. One father went to two general authorities on two occasions to plead that something be done to protect other children from more abuse by the named perpetrators. But no action was take against the perpetrators who continued to hold church leadership positions.

“Their lack of response has been the most disillusioning and faith destroying experience of my life,” this father told me.

Disbelieving Children

The wife of one man who was a perpetrator of the abuse later told me, “When my children described the horrific sexual abuse by their own father, the bishop counseled me to believe my husband over my children because he holds the priesthood. I have not been active in the church since he told me that.”

Another mother said, “We could not afford to move from the ward. I had to sit in church with adults who had sexually molested our children, and who had in no way been disciplined. I could not comprehend such betrayal.” Several parents moved from the neighborhood.

The perpetrator in the bishopric, divorced by his wife, moved to another ward and acquired a new wife with new children. Others tried to warn both his new wife and his new bishop about his past abuses of children.

This man abused at least 30 children over many years—from his teenage years into his forties. Nine children and four adult women independently reported to church leaders, their experience of sexual abuse by the man. No church or legal action was ever taken against him; instead, church leaders supported him and even paid his house mortgage.

When you read all this, do you still believe that the Church has no responsibility for this?

The Church, and we as members, must learn from past mistakes; so as not to repeat them.

If you think this post violates the forum rules, I ask you or/the administrator to delete my account. I will always say what I think and believe. This has often caused me problems in the Church through church leaders (bishop, stake president); but I will ALWAYS write or say what I think!