Changes are in motion..

I know I haven’t been around too much but since leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have been roaming around aimlessly lost since 2013. When my main church experience dried up, I’ve been involved in all types of “Mormon” (lack of better word) churches. I’ve been at higher levels in Community of Christ, participated in Snufferite Fellowships and even been “called” to a position at a very new church expression that blends Judaism and Joseph Smith based religion.. I’ve also unfriended 150+ faith based Facebook friends and informed Community of Christ that my Council position will end once my term is up.

If the above paragraph seems ugly, well, it is! I did learn some things during my time.. I learned to be more compassionate to my Brothers and Sisters from Community of Christ, that all have worth in God’s eyes. The Snufferites taught me how to think for myself and that personal revelation isn’t something that is reserved for just High Priests or Bishops.. That all of us are capable for that sacred grove experience and it isn’t always that “still small voice”. The new church expression showed me what kind of things God could have in store for me, be open minded to new experiences and appreciate other expressions of faith.

What it all boils down to is, searching for things that don’t exist causes discoveries that would be hard to teach in a typical church 2-3 hour block. All of these are experiences that help me grow my testimony. Reading the scriptures, boiling over the truth claims and logistics were not doing it for me. I have always had a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as a good church, but I think it is run by a group of imperfect beings that get things very wrong. I’ve learned that being independent allows me to accept or not accept what is being shared. If Elder Bednar is being a jerk today, I am free to think that without confessing my feelings toward anyone. People are also free to think what they want about me as well (and likewise, keep it to yourself or talk calmly to me about it without threats).

So I am left with participating in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in a way that only I can live with. I do what works for me, I participate in a way that I can live with, it looks weird to outsiders, it is unusual but it is faithful. Micro Managing JamesFromMI will fail, threats and harassment will drive me even further away, beating me to a pulp by passive aggressive thugs will be met with hostilities and be of the devil. If you really love me, love my family, you would give me space and leave me be. It is okay for me to participate this way, I have God behind me. God provided this way forward and who am I to argue?

I urge anyone who is reading this, especially someone who is searching for a way out of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, to map out a way forward before taking the plunge. I know some people go cold turkey and not replace the church experience with anything but that doesn’t work for everyone. What if you still have a testimony? What about the scriptures and the studying? Have you had profound experiences of that still small voice or more awesome experiences? Can you walk away so easily? Is it healthy to do so? That void is hard to fill with other secular activities (at least for me it was, your miles my vary).

One more thing, above all else ! Do not give your faith away cheaply, do not give someone jurisdiction over you no matter how good you feel. Do not join churches, get too involved or tie yourself with an organization until you fully understand their practices, beliefs and leadership’s attitudes. I’ve been disappointed in leadership multiple times, mainly for their personal beliefs that don’t line up with their religious persona. At conference time, those who left the church tend to armchair someone’s speech, saying how horrible it was.. but three weeks later, they say something just as vile or worse on Facebook.

I didn’t mean for this post to go this long, but all of this is important and relevant to the topic of this board. I’ve done the journey outside of the church and it isn’t glamorous and pretty. Get more information, make a plan, hand off your responsibilities nicely (no ghosting) and leave on good terms even if you think you will never return. You never know when you may be back, cross paths with someone from the church or need help in some other way. Life if too short, life is precious, let’s be excellent to each other and do our best.

I leave you with a quote from my buddy Dieter F. Uchtdorf , a decent man who is usually okay message wise. This comes from his talk “Living the Gospel Joyful” back in the October 2014 General Conference:

I think God knows something we don’t—things that are beyond our capacity to comprehend! Our Father in Heaven is an eternal being whose experience, wisdom, and intelligence are infinitely greater than ours.4 Not only that, but He is also eternally loving, compassionate, and focused on one blessed goal: to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life.5

In other words, He not only knows what is best for you; He also anxiously wants you to choose what is best for you.

May all of us find that joy, listen for God’s council in our life, make informed decisions and we find our best case in this short life. Amen.