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Well, kind of against my will, I am moving in the next month or so to another state. One of my concerns about the move is having to establish my position with the Ward leaders in the new location.
I am fortunate that in my current Ward, everyone knows me. No one is asking about my history or trying to get me active anymore. So that means they have settled into the kind of relationship I have desired with the church — no pressure, minimal contribution, etcetera.
In a new ward, you have to start all over again.
My current ward knows the city and state of the place we are moving to. It’s a smaller town, not a metropolis, so I suspect there is only one ward there. It will be easy for my current ward to transfer our records even though we don’t share our new address with them. The town and state would be enough.
How do you propose a person manages the transition with a new crop of priesthood leaders in a new ward? Lie low until they reach out to you? Be proactive and meet with the Bishop to lay it all out on the table (where I stand, what I’m willing to do, not willing to do, etcetera)?Is your wife still active? If not, this might be an opportunity to be less active. The church people would figure out who and where you are eventually and then you could graciously come back to church in a limited capacity and on your terms.
I think it becomes more complicated when we have more active and more traditionally believing family members that we wish to support.
My wive was a full TR holder, but then, with the pandemic, she has grown casual about church. We don’t talk about it much because my less activity used to upset her. So joint less activity is not hard to implement… I like to look at it as positive and a fresh start. I don’t think the opportunity is in my foreseeable future, but I wouldn’t mind. Quote:How do you propose a person manages the transition with a new crop of priesthood leaders in a new ward? Lie low until they reach out to you? Be proactive and meet with the Bishop to lay it all out on the table (where I stand, what I’m willing to do, not willing to do, etcetera)?
Everybody is different and of course leadership roulette always plays a role. I’d go with the proactive approach for me. I may not be super detailed in where I stand (I’d try to be as vague as possible) but I think I’d hold no bones about letting them know what I will and won’t do. Were I in their shoes I’d have some appreciation for that because then I wouldn’t be wasting time discussing a calling only to have you say no then rinse and repeat. If I know what someone was interested in doing or at least willing to do I’d probably try to make the fit – and if I knew they wouldn’t do something I’d accommodate that too.
That said, the lying low approach also has its merits, especially if the new ward is a little slow on the uptake. The previous administration in my ward was very much like that – new or recently released people could go months without a calling.
SilentDawning wrote:
My wive was a full TR holder, but then, with the pandemic, she has grown casual about church. We don’t talk about it much because my less activity used to upset her. So joint less activity is not hard to implement…
Ok then, this would be my strategy.1) take a little break from church until the ward discovers your presence. then let them reactivate you but in a limited fashion. Because your level of activity after reactivation is greater than it was before and there may be some reluctance of pushing you too hard lest you slip back into activity – I would think that you could ride this limited activity model for an extended time period.
2) Go to the new church sporadically and on your terms. When you meet with the bishop, let him know that you are not interested in callings right now (or maybe that you are only interested in certain callings or “assignments”). Not having a calling should allow you the freedom to attend or not as you decide. Do not give any testimony reasons for not wanting to hold a calling. I would instead rely on age/health based reasons and/or prior bad experience based reasons (such as your reason for not wanting a calling but willingness to accept an assignment).
Of course, these are just ideas. Your mileage may vary.
SilentDawning wrote:
How do you propose a person manages the transition with a new crop of priesthood leaders in a new ward? Lie low until they reach out to you?Be proactive and meet with the Bishop to lay it all out on the table (where I stand, what I’m willing to do, not willing to do, etcetera)?
I would love to move to a new ward. It would mean that we are closer to one of our children & his family.
Has you visited the ward yet? If yes, what was the “vibs”?
The approach I would take is to be quiet & blend in. After a period of time, I would talk to some individual members & ask for
their opinions about the Ward. The other thing is, try to determine the personality of the ward. Is it a student ward? Where do
the members work? What are the Companies like. Old & established? Or relatively new?
I would love to be in your position. You are in the “drivers seat”. Tell people only what you want them to know. Determine for yourself
what callings or positions you would take. Think about what you definitely would NOT take. My I suggest Family History. Your work
primarily by yourself & no one bothers you. Good Luck. You are driving the train on this journey.
I’d take the opportunity to lie low. Make the new leaders reveal their hand, so to speak, so you can read them and what they are like and then you can decide how to react to them, rather than show your hand and hope they react well to you.
You may find it is a non-issue or they have multiple people in their boundaries with different views and so they are focused on other things, and you can let them be them.
Benefits:
1) taking a break is nice. Take it when you can. A new person won’t have much pressure usually.
2) you get to see what they are like, and only raise issues they raise.
Thanks for all the advice. I like the idea of laying low for a while. Also the idea of getting the vibe from the leaders to see what kind of leaders they are. That will inform future strategies. I hope it takes them a long time to figure out we are there…Unfortunately, we weren’t able to attend the ward to feel the vibe – it was a long-distance move and we bought a house remotely as well.
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