Will you someday be held accountable for what you write here?

What Roy said – word for word.

I will add two things:

I try very hard to write as dispassionately as possible when I comment here. I think about my words before typing them, then I reread my comments before submitting them. I have that luxury, since I am not in the heat of a faith crisis or transition. If it were all crashing down around me at the time, I am sure I would write differently.

I do believe we are judged by our words, but I see it as a natural situation of life with humans – not as a part of a divine trial. People judge each other naturally (and often inaccurately) by what they say, so I see the statement as a simple truism: We ARE judged by our words, not that we WILL BE at some future point. I think that is why the Bible says controlling one’s tongue is a sign of perfection.

Again, I understand the idea of being condemned BY our thoughts (since thoughts often lead to actions) – but I don’t believe in being condemned FOR our thoughts (since thoughts often do not lead to actions). As the best practical application, someone who has an unhealthy thought every day of their life but never acts on it is NO different, in practical terms, than someone who never has that unhealthy thought.

I see this all the time when talking with people. It isn’t the thought that is the determiner; it is learning to choose our actions no matter what our thoughts are and to challenge or replace our thoughts when they are unhealthy.

The idea of “judgement” is sold as as a fear tactic (and it works). It is also a practice in no or limited empathy or connection to the “sinner”. Even in the parable with the man whose debt was paid off – it’s a personal failure of the man who entered the debt and set himself up for failure who gets “rescued” by the wealthy friend. If the wealthy friend knew the bill was going to be due sooner than later – why didn’t he step in sooner? Why did he wait until the debt collector was literally at the man’s door?

But if there is a God, and if the Atonement is real – then part of the “judgement” has to involve an understanding of my developmental state as well what I said – the “why” and “what was I thinking” as it were. If we really believe that we have Heavenly Parents and that Alma 7 – Jesus Christ experienced the Garden and the Cross to become the source of “perfect empathy” for us – to save us “in our sins”. Then the “judgement” story and theme does not track/we don’t have the full story on how we will be judged with empathy.

Example:

With my teenager, I can get about 3 sentences out in conversation before her emotional feathers are clearly ruffled. Do I give her guidance on what I am getting from her in terms of emotion? Yes. Do I shove food in her direction sometimes to mitigate the emotional load coming because she forgot to eat and didn’t check in with her system? Absolutely. Do I “look down on her in contempt” because she doesn’t have the perfect level of emotional control? No – biologically it is not possible for her right now to “Vulcan it” and have perfect control of her emotions. Sometimes I look at her in awe because she says something cuttingly stupid – and then comes back and honestly repairs it a short time later. Sometimes she exceeds her emotional restraint abilities – which looks like a normal “Tuesday” for some other teenager.

Final Point

I am going to be “judged” by what I write here (in terms of faithlessness) – then part of that judgement means understanding my experience and my loss. It means understanding that I didn’t set out to find myself a faith transition/crisis – it happened to me as much as it happened with me and my participation.

But if there is a God, and if the Atonement is real – then part of the “judgement” has to involve an understanding of my developmental state as well what I said – the “why” and “what was I thinking” as it were. If we really believe that we have Heavenly Parents and that Alma 7 – Jesus Christ experienced the Garden and the Cross to become the source of “perfect empathy” for us – to save us “in our sins”. Then the “judgement” story and theme does not track/we don’t have the full story on how we will be judged with empathy.

You make a great point Amy. If we are to be judged based upon our personal worthiness then we will all be condemned for all of us have sinned and come short of the glory of God. The unique aspect of Christianity is that we have a Savior and Redeemer that rescues us from our deserved fate. I saw the following on a poster once: “Mercy is when you don’t get the punishment that you deserve. Grace is when you get the reward that you don’t deserve.”

I wasn’t talking about the kindness of neutral or encouraging comments — I was talking about comments that are not party-line comments, criticisms of the church, the gospel, the scriptures, or the leaders. Comments that are critical may be held against us.

I was thinking more about this and realized that the scripture says our thoughts will also condemn us. So, if we even think bad things about the church we are condemned by such thoughts. Most of the time we’ve thought about what we say here, (at least for opening posters), so we are condemned anyway if we let our thoughts go in the direction in which we ultimately post.

1. Comments that are critical are held against us sooner or later – that you can take to the bank as it were. That doesn’t mean that those comments shouldn’t be made. But change doesn’t happen in complacency – it happens through critical reviews and re-evaluation. The only thing that has helped me resolve the cognitive dissonance of being this type of “whistleblower” is leaving the final judger of my choices here on earth as myself. Was I compassionate, thoughtful in listening, and true to my values? The church (and its leaders) can’t supply that final answer – and my life is better when I study what the church and leaders say, get the context of why they said it – and incorporate it as part my data set to make decisions from among other datasets.

Scriptures are the words of the leaders of the past – they supply another (even more flawed/disconnected from my reality) data point. They don’t get special treatment in my book.

2. After a lot of thought, I feel most often like Adam and Eve post-garden, pre-alter. Adam and Eve felt that God had been with them and that they were no longer with God. They still did things to keep a connection open to God and make meaning for themselves in their current realm. But God wasn’t talking to them either (as far as they could tell). Most of the people I know already know the script and basically tell me the equivalent of “God will show up at x and x time”. It has taken time (and mourning) to get to the point where I am comfortable with where I am and where they are in relation to me – I try not to threaten their narrative, or let them destroy/rush mine.