What would you do in this situation?

So, I went for a haircut yesterday. When I seated at the hair stylist’s booth, there was a picture of the Mormon Del Parson conception of Jesus attached to the mirror in plain view, just above the hair stylist’s license.

She was clearly a Mormon. I sat there for a few minutes wondering how to proceed. Given your unorthodox status (or better yet, my unorthodox, less-active status after decades of full activity in the church) would you bring up your Mormonism? Or just let it lie?

I would let it be. I am not interested in creating relationships based on having a religion in common. YMMV.

I’m with Amy. I would have let it be unless they recognized me or something.

SIDE NOTE: I took my 2 girls (13 and 6) to the Halloween Trunk or Treat this year. I haven’t been to a “large” branch gathering since 2020. I was a little worried about what “people” would say to me (most of the branch is aware I am assertive and protective of my kids – and doesn’t have a relationship of trust with my kids enough that they would say something tacky – assuming they could catch up with my kids).

I had newer members ask me questions like, “Are you a member of the branch?” – to which I had my comment ready, “Yes – AND it’s complicated” with a bit of a half smile/half social laugh before changing the subject.

I had a few members I knew say things like, “We miss you at church – are you coming back?” – to which I replied, “It’s complicated – Thanks for asking”. Again, I had the half smile/half social laugh thing going before changing the subject.

Every time – the person laughed with me and moved on. They usually dropped a statement that they were happy to see me and they recognized that that situation can be complicated.

I went to the event prepared in the back of my mind with those statements to say to show I was “friendly” but that I didn’t want to talk about it.

I knew I wasn’t going to let them try to ambush me, shame me or overwhelm me without my consent in the situation (and I wasn’t going to consent to that).

We did eat dinner there – and I brought lots of the “good candy” and I worked hard to provide more than my fair share of the cleanup while the kids trunk or treated and a box held our candy on the trunk of my car for all the other kids.

I guess over the last few years, I have been thinking about what I want my relationships to be with other church members – and the further away from my faith transition I go, the more I realize that that is a small piece of my heritage and a different piece of my community.

kudos for having a great deflective and non-committal response Amy.

I think that I would ask if the hairdresser is LDS. Perhaps old habits die hard, but it is just too easy of a topic for conversation starters.

My former dentist/member (retired) used to have pictures of temples on the ceiling with the hope that patients would ask and give him “missionary opportunities.”

It does seem that conversation and haircuts are supposed to go together but i honestly don’t care much for it. When i used to go to stylists i enjoined just to not be rude. I’ve been going to a barber for a few years now and he will talk if you want and not talk if you don’t want to. I usually don’t.

Putting the two together and adding in SD’s quotation, I’d rather not talk and engage the person in a church related conversation I would prefer not to have anyway. There are other fish for the stylist to catch with their bait.

I took the bait and indicated I was a Mormon, but that I don’t go. Fortunately, the lady was not in my Ward but from a Ward in a neighboring state.

It led to testimony bearing on her part, an invitation to go to church with her, testimony how much comfort she gets from knowing her deceased husband and her are married for eternity, that serving in the church brings her joy….all the things I would rather not have heard. It truly is complicated.

I’m amazed at how much the church relies on “hit and run” attempts at activation, when what people need, in my view, are deep relationships and understanding.

I regretted that I raised my background as a Mormon as a result. So, I think next time I’ll just remain silent if someone I meet is a Mormon. From this experience, I realized that I don’t have a lot in common with Mormons anymore, so it’s not really the great conversation piece it once was. And it wouldn’t surprise me if I’m part of a lesson or testimony meeting on her part, describing how her picture of Christ elicits such and such responses and opportunities for her to bear her testimony.