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At the start of the year I made a goal to get endowed this year. I kept waiting and waiting as the time never really felt right. However a few months ago I decided it was finally time and that I am ready. However being the naturally anxious person I am, I am quite anxious about this ordeal. It is in a few weeks, but still. It kind of seems surreal in a way. I’m not really the typical Mormon type, so going into the Temple seems so strange to me. My parents will be there, as will a few good friends from my YSA ward. I guess I’m most anxious about the ceremonial aspect. To be candid it just sounds strange if I’m being honest. And sometimes strange things erk me a bit. What’s interesting is doing the interview with my bishop and stake president has seemed to ease my anxiety a bit about it too. Both were incredibly kind.
I am also worried about being endowed in general and worried about trying to be perfect. Something I am not. I slip up. Nothing serious, but I make mistakes often because I’m incredibly flawed. I also struggle with tithing, not paying it but just the concept of it. But that’s a different discussion.
Overall I think this is a step in the right direction in getting closer to the Savior and trying to get some better direction in life.
kotm wrote:
…I am also worried about being endowed in general and worried about trying to be perfect. Something I am not. I slip up. Nothing serious, but I make mistakes often because I’m incredibly flawed. I also struggle with tithing, not paying it but just the concept of it. But that’s a different discussion.Overall I think this is a step in the right direction in getting closer to the Savior and trying to get some better direction in life.
I remember when I talked to my Bishop about going through with my own endowment, he said to relax & try to remember how you feel going
through the experience for the 1st time. That was the best advice I could of received. The first time is going to be a blur. My advice is: go
through your own endowment with a close friend. Discuss the experience afterwards. Go through the experience again with the name of a
family member who has passed. Try to remember more the 2nd time.
I am interested in what you expect to get from the experience.
Remember, none of us get through this life perfectly. There was only one. We all struggle with something. You are not alone & the endowment
is not the end to our journey.
I’m going to give you the advice I was given before going and that I now give to everyone before their first time… Don’t fall off the goat. It’s really embarrassing. Now that I’ve got my joke out of the way, onto my actual comments.
kotm wrote:
I guess I’m most anxious about the ceremonial aspect. To be candid it just sounds strange if I’m being honest. And sometimes strange things erk me a bit.
The brother who warned me to not fall off the goat was there when I did my endowment. The first thing he said to me when I got into the celestial room was, “So is the church still true?” The temple gets built up so much, by the time people go, they’re expecting a place filled with profound learning and unearthly peace. Then, they get there and… it’s not what they expected. It sounds like you have very real expectations. That is going to go a long way.
kotm wrote:I am also worried about being endowed in general and worried about trying to be perfect. Something I am not. I slip up. Nothing serious, but I make mistakes often because I’m incredibly flawed. I also struggle with tithing, not paying it but just the concept of it. But that’s a different discussion.
Overall I think this is a step in the right direction in getting closer to the Savior and trying to get some better direction in life.
You don’t have to be perfect to go to the temple. Really, you just have to be able to answer the interview questions honestly. None of them ask for perfection. There is also some room for interpretation. I drink coffee and still answer “Yes” honestly to understanding and obeying the WoW. I obey it to my understanding. For tithing, my views on it have changed recently, and I switched from paying on net to paying on surplus. When the time comes, I’ll still answer “Yes” to being a full-tithe payer.
I believe the Savior cares more about the heart. He knows no one except Him leaves this life a perfect person. Just trying to be closer to Him, I think, is enough.
My advice, which I wish I had in the beginning, is to not take things too literally. These are symbolic (which a few people told me), but even more than that I believe this things that you actually do in the temple are meaningless. I used to try and find meaning in every little thing such as how many light bulbs are on the main chandelier (same as the number of books in the old testament). Hint it doesn’t matter it’s meaningless.
I’ll explain that in the sense that things we do there are not of substance. What is of substance is how you feel while there, how your life has changed to get you there, and it doesn’t matter how often you go.
Go with an open mind, don’t work about taking it all on and even if you go back once a week, don’t read too much into the actual presented items.
I’d be interested in getting you thoughts
The latest change to the endowment states clearly and explicitly that everything in it is symbolic. That allows each person to choose how to see everything in ways that make sense to them. I have seen it as symbolic for a long time – and the symbolism I choose to see is my favorite aspect of Mormonism.
I appreciate all of your responses and support. And has somewhat made me feel better and a little less anxious about this. I am recieving my endowement later this week and I will be sure to let you know how it went!
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