- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I’m curious about various callings (in the church) members of this board have had over their adult lifetime. Maybe someone has already asked this question in another post. If they have, I haven’t run across it.
The Best Calling I’ve had.The Worse Calling I’ve had.The Calling I would like to have.The Calling I would never accept.Don’t just name the calling or position but, state a reason.
I can start it off. The Best Calling I’ve had.Family History. I like working alone. There are no meetings. I like the belief that we are all connected somewhere in history.
I like working with computers & programs. I like teaching one on one.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.Executive Secretary. I worked for a Bishop I didn’t care for.
The Calling I would like to have.There are none. I’m too old & set in my ways.
The Calling I would never accept.Bishop. I’m old & set in my ways. I wouldn’t put up the the BS of leadership anymore. I would be released in a week.
Any calling where there are coordinating meetings between various organizations & personalities. I never like callings that
seemed to play to your ego.
The Best Calling I’ve had.:think: Maybe assistant to the assistant ward clerk. That one wasn’t so bad. Sundays never went into extra innings and it was a decent fit for this introvert.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.This one is easy to answer. Anything related to ward missionary efforts. Not necessarily because I dislike missionary work but because I held callings related to missionary work too often and for extended periods of time. Full time missionary, stake missionary (when there was such a thing), ward missionary (x2), ward mission leader, EQP counselor focused on the missionary efforts of the quorum. I’ve spent over half of my church life in one of those callings.
Some of that was down to changing wards or changing bishops, the new leadership not knowing what I did under prior leadership, and coincidentally ending up with the same calling again and again. Another part of it was leadership forgetting about me. I was called and ended up being in the same calling for over 3 years. That sort of thing happens when you’re dutifully doing your duty, not making waves, and assuming the lord will release you when you’re ready to be released.
The Calling I would like to have.I don’t know that there is one. Some time ago when I was doing the cost benefit analysis for continued activity with the church I gave this question some thought and determined there really isn’t a calling out there for me. The church certainly has needs but my talents aren’t a good fit for those needs.
The Calling I would never accept.Anything leadership. Anything that would require me to be at church on Sunday longer than one hour. I got burned out (to a crisp) during the days when I was at church for over six hours every Sunday. Never again.
I currently have a calling but I regret accepting it. I don’t know what overcame me in the moment when I accepted the calling. Hopefully I’ll remember these feelings when I’m released and stay comfortably callingless for a while.
Nothing against callings, I don’t mean to be negative on them. They’re just not a good fit for me right now.
The Best Calling I’ve had.The best calling I’ve had was probably teaching Sunday school for the 17 years olds. They were old enough that I didn’t feel like I had to simplify what I taught and we had some great tangent discussions nearly every of Sunday. Eventually I just tossed the manual because we never went over anything I planned. When some of my kids got up in fast and testimony meeting and said how much they loved Sunday school, it was nice to feel like maybe I was doing something right.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.Being second counselor in my YSA elders quorum was a calling filled with frustrations, more so because of the EQ president and other counselor than the calling itself. They disregarded any input I and the secretary gave and did everything themselves. They then left and quit coming to church because they burned themselves out, leaving the two of us to do everything. That experience definitely reinforced the idea for me that not all callings are inspired.
The Calling I would like to have.The calling I’d like to have is the one I have right now, honestly. I’m a temple and family history consultant and the only thing I’ve had to do for it in the last three years is one after-church meeting. There are a couple genealogy buffs in the ward with the same calling that are more than happy to do all of the heavy lifting and so thankfully no one’s ever approached me to do anything. Which is perfect for me right now.
The Calling I would never accept.Like nibbler, anything in leadership. I do not have the time, energy or desire and I have no ambition to add any keys to my key chain.
Though in reality, I can’t think of many callings I would actually accept at this point. Most callings seem to be more about the continuing of church operations than they are about serving others. Sure, one could argue that the church’s operations serve people. But personally, I’d just as soon go spend a few hours volunteering at my local food bank if I wanted an opportunity for service.
So my thoughts echo nibbler’s. I have nothing against callings, especially for those who want to do them and find value in doing them. They’re just not for me right now, and probably won’t ever be.
Minyan Man wrote:
I’m curious about various callings (in the church) members of this board have had over their adult lifetime.Maybe someone has already asked this question in another post. If they have, I haven’t run across it.
The Best Calling I’ve had.I was a young men’s president in an inner city Ward. Lots of single-parent kids. I had a good presidency, and we did lots of great things. There was a going away party when I was called as Stake Young Men’s president. I am always uncomfortable with that level of attention on me, but the exit from that calling was one of the most memorable experiences in my church calling life.
As a close second, I was a Bishopric member in a Ward full of highly committed people. They were all wealthy professionals who lived around a temple. I suffered from imposter syndrome because I didn’t think I belonged in that Ward, and particularly, in that calling, given the immense talent of the people we were leading. I saw how the gospel is SUPPOSED to work in the lives of people, and if all Wards had’ve been like that one, I think I would have avoided the commitment problems I experienced later in life.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.Probably High Priest Group Leader in a struggling Ward. I was always starting things that would never happen. The people I was leading lacked commitment and we were limited in what we could accomplish. Anyone who had commitment was already serving in a high profile calling. It was a highly frustrating and unfulfilling calling. And experiences in that Ward led to the lack of commitment I now demonstrate.
The Calling I would like to have.Nothing right now. I have moved on to service in another organization.
The Calling I would never accept.Senior couples missionary. I have dreams that I was called on a second and third mission. In my dreams, I am not committed and don’t accomplish anything in my second and third mission (in my dreams I’m single, serving a second or third mission as a younger person). I have often thought that if I was to write my memoirs like celebrities do, the name of the book would be Silentdawning — Rejected. David Spade called his memoir “David Spade is Almost Interesting”. Ana Faris called it “UnQualified”. Mine would be “Rejected”, and my mission was a huge experience in regular rejection. I have a kind of phobia of rejection now, and avoid situations where I have to experience high levels of rejection. Being a Senior Missionary would be the bane of my existence if called and accepted.
This is a good thread where we can get to know each other better. Thanks MM for posting this topic!!!
The Best Calling I’ve had.Relief Society Teacher– I taught relevant, meaningful lessons regularly that accommodated the believers and the agnostics like me. It stopped working for me when the R.S. presidency remembered/decided (not sure which motivation) that they needed to assign me the talks to teach on, rather then rubber-stamping my 6 month talk list (and adding 1-2 talks they felt inspired to insist that I personally teach). I needed leadership that let me call the shots primarily to accommodate my faith transition (that they didn’t know about) rather then follow policy and “assign”. The Worse Calling I’ve had.Primary Teacher with my Husband– We didn’t have our act together conversationally, and it was doubly stressful navigating teaching a class of 10+ kids 8-11 in terms of logistics and emotional engagement of family. CAVEAT: I am not fond of teaching primary to start with – I understand the need for it – the structure set up for teachers doesn’t work for me. The Calling I would like to have.Branch/Ward Accessibility Specialist(Does not Exist) – making sure that the spaces were ADA compliant, that all additional needs of the members were identified and accommodated (as much as possible). It would probably also look like learning how to the be AV person so that church meetings were still virtually accessible. Ward Clerk– I like databases and records. I like keepings things organized. Leadership Related– I am a decision-making leader by disposition, and I like making a difference. The Calling I would never accept.Primary Chorister– I am not fond of primary songs, or goofing off. RS Activities Coordinator– Planning parties is stressful for me. I could *help* just not run point on that job. That’s an interesting wrinkle, what calling would you like to have, even if it doesn’t currently exist. I’ve got mine on lock.
[attachment=0]Waldorf and Statler.jpg[/attachment] Ward Waldorf.
:angel: After reading the posts to this discussion I had the following thought. Some of us have accepted callings, performed our dues, as best we could, with our dignity & our conscience intact & moved on.
Shouldn’t there be a rule where members are called to a position once & never calledto that position again?
Or, if the leadership feels compelled to call us again, we have the right or duty to say NO without feeling guilty? If I’m repeating myself, I’m sorry. Here’s some background.
My wife & I are in our late 70’s. We joined the church as single adults when we were in college.
We dated for a year, got married & have been in the same town, ward & stake ever since. We are known.
Keep in mind, I was the one inactive at church for about a year.
Shortly after we got married, we were called as Stake Missionaries for about 3 years until our children came along.
During that time, I was called to be a Stake Seventy & Ward Mission Leader. It was a good experience because we could do it together.
My wife is a very “gung ho” missionary. I am laid back. If someone asks me a question about the church I’ll answer it as best as I can without
going into “extra innings” about the topic. If my wife had her way, the missionaries would be here on a daily basis. At church the missionaries
are asking us to sit with their investigators. Last night they called & asked if we could go with them to help teach their investigator. In our ward,
we have a ward mission leader & (3) ward missionaries. This is my fear: when you start saying yes to the little things (please sit with our
investigator). The next thing is can you help us teach our investigator? Then the next thing is: do you know who would make a good ward
mission leader? I’m sorry. I can feel my blood pressure rising.
Why does it seem that the church culture is: you cannot say NO to a calling? Or, you cannot feel guilty when someone asks you to do them
a “favor” in their calling?
Over my adult lifetime, there are the pre-faith crisis callings and the post faith crisis callings. Before the faith crisis, I enjoyed being part of a presidency. I have been a counselor in the YM and EQ presidencies. I am not much of a leader but can be a great and loyal sidekick. The rest of these questions, I will answer about my post FC callings. The Best Calling I’ve had.
I think the best callings I’ve had post FC are ones that I have held together with my wife. We compliment each others strengths and weaknesses nicely. We have been primary teachers for the 5 year olds, scout leaders, and boys activity day leaders. I bring fun and unique activities and she keeps me grounded and checking the program boxes.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.
I was called as the ward temple and family history leader. It was a pretty blatant attempt for me to feel the spirit of temple work. I did do a family history push but could never do the job effectively without a TR. New stake leadership decided that the calling required a TR and I was released. I would have liked for there to be some gratitude for my willingness to accept and perform the calling in my present state. Unfortunately, I think that there was some resentment towards me that I didn’t have a change of heart and renew my TR. Our church has trouble with treating our volunteers like employees.
The Calling I would like to have.
I did enjoy the calling of cub scout leaders and boy’s activity day leaders. The calling does not require regular Sunday attendance, has minimal supervision, we could adapt any spiritual messages to our beliefs, and best of all – we were good at it.
The Calling I would never accept.
I know that I am not good at leadership and this would be even more frustrating and anxiety inducing in my post FC state. I have enough responsibility and decision making accountability at my job.
I don’t currently have a calling. After I was released from the ward Temple and Family History Leader (at least a year ago now), I have been left pretty much alone.
Minyan Man wrote:
Why does it seem that the church culture is: you cannot say NO to a calling? Or, you cannot feel guilty when someone asks you to do thema “favor” in their calling?
I think that we as a church have taught that 1) we have all made covenants (starting at baptism) to consecrate all out time, talents, and resources to the growth of the church/God’s kingdom, 2) that all callings are inspired and directed by God, and 3) that callings are personalized and designed for our own personal growth and celestial development. Therefore we are to serve dutifully and joyfully where assigned.
As with most things there is a mixture of good and bad in the above teachings. People can get out of their comfort zone and develop true love and selflessness as they serve others. They can grow as people and develop new talents. To paraphrase Elder Uchtdorf, when it works, it works wonderfully.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/10/it-works-wonderfully?lang=eng Minyan Man wrote:
Why does it seem that the church culture is: you cannot say NO to a calling? Or, you cannot feel guilty when someone asks you to do thema “favor” in their calling?
“Community/Tribal Commitment”– It isn’t just “Saying No” to a commitment, it’s also saying “No” to another individual’s “revelation” – either as the leader who calls you, or the individual who “feels inspired to ask you”.
“Divine Self-Expression”– I think on some levels, we want “personal ministries” aka acts of service that we can do that we “feel called” or “put ourselves under obligation” to fulfill. But this goes against the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” leadership mentality, so at best – so leadership hopes their individuals are motivated and “call themselves” as they complete their calling.
– Personal ministries are an “empowering situation” – they are self-empowerment and being a visionary on some levels what that calling, that ministry looks like for your participation. This self-empowerment can look like arrogance or pride – especially if you are female who is supposed to model humility.
The “List”– There is a very long list of things to say “Yes” to (spouse, children, calling, self-reliance (including employment), character development, Temple Work, WoW, church service to name a few). Also, these “Yes” items are time consuming. It becomes easier to numbly say “Yes” and figure it out later, then it does to intentionally say “No” and deal with the consequences.
The Best Calling I’ve had.When I was younger I enjoyed working with the YM (I served in YM for many years) and the older Primary boys (Blazers at the time). I didn’t mind bishopric or high council, and I also liked Gospel Doctrine teacher in my more orthodox days.
The Worse Calling I’ve had.I spent some time as an assistant ward clerk (with a clerk I didn’t particularly like). Not for me. And back in the day when there were stake missions and stake mission presidents I was in the presidency. Again, not my cup of herbal tea.
The Calling I would like to have.That’s a toughie. I don’t currently have a calling, but in some ways I’d like one. I even feel a bit snubbed by my ward for not having one. On the other hand, I don’t think there are many I would accept anyway. Maybe in OT/NT years I might do SS if I’m allowed to do it my way.
The Calling I would never accept.Too numerous to list. If I had to pick a number one on the list it would be bishop, but I doubt that’s in the offing.
Minyan Man wrote:
Why does it seem that the church culture is: you cannot say NO to a calling? Or, you cannot feel guilty when someone asks you to do thema “favor” in their calling?
I think the culture of the church in the 70s/80s and into the 90s was callings came directly from God/Christ and saying no was violating covenants that we made (as Roy pointed out). Saying no was saying no directly to God. I think it could also be seen as an affront to leaders who were unquestionably inspired.
I also think sometime in the 90s a revolution began where the younger generations started to question those old tenets and were not ashamed to say no. I think some of us Boomers and GenX types joined that revolution, and at the same time I think some leaders (who were probably also Boomers and GenX) were wise enough to drop the charade – they knew how revelation really worked (or didn’t work). I didn’t realize how widespread this revolution had become until I was on the high council a few years ago. I was amazed at how many people said no, even to “big” callings like bishoprics and EQP. Early morning seminary was a particularly difficult one to fill – multiple people declined every time. I realized it wasn’t only me who figured out that “every calling comes from the Lord” was a line of bull*. And also surprising was how the SP dealt with it – like it was to be expected. They just moved on to the next person.
Part of my own faith transition was giving up the guilt of owing the church anything. I’m not alone.
Minyan Man wrote:
Why does it seem that the church culture is: you cannot say NO to a calling? Or, you cannot feel guilty when someone asks you to do thema “favor” in their calling?
I think the church culture is that way because leaders have set the tone of the culture. I’ve heard teachings to never decline callings. Most don’t come from general conference, but a few do.
Boyd K. Packer, October 1997 General Conference wrote:It is not in the proper spirit for us to decide where we will serve or where we will not. We serve where we are called. It does not matter what the calling may be.
That particular talk (
Called to ServeQuote:He returned to ask Jack to forgive him for not doing it right and started over: “Last Sunday the stake presidency prayerfully considered who should lead the young men in the stake. There were several names; yours was among them. We all felt that you were the man. We knelt in prayer. The Lord confirmed to the three of us, by revelation, that you were to be called to that position.”
Then he said, “As a servant of the Lord, I am here to deliver that call.”
Then Jack said, “Well, Spencer, if you are going to put it that way …”
President Kimball replied, “I am putting it that way!”
Of course, Jack would not respond to a casual invitation from Spencer, but he could not refuse a call from the Lord through Stake President Kimball. He served faithfully and with inspiration.
😯 And then BKP adds (emphasisadded): Boyd K. Packer, October 1997 General Conference wrote:While we do not ask to be released from a calling, if our circumstances change it is quite in order for us to counsel with those who have issued the call
and then let the decision rest with them. Nor should we feel rejected when we are released by the same authority and with the same inspiration by which we were called. And a few more: Russell M. Nelson, April 1993 General Conference wrote:Don’t refuse an opportunity to serve.
- Don’t resign from a call. Do inform leaders of changing circumstances in your life, knowing that leaders will weigh all factors when prayerfully considering the proper timing of your release.
Dallin H. Oaks, October 2002 General Conference wrote:My brothers and sisters, if you are delinquent in commitment, please consider who it is you are refusing or neglecting to serve when you decline a calling or when you accept, promise, and fail to fulfill.
Franklin D. Richards, October 1972 General Conference wrote:Applying this rule in our lives can mean never to turn down an opportunity to serve in building the kingdom when asked by one in authority. Our callings to serve in the Church, coming from an authorized agent of our Heavenly Father, can properly be construed to be the will of the Lord.
One thing I’ll highlight about the quotes I found. 2002, 1997, 1993, 1972. Not exactly recent. The most recent mention on this subject that I can remember actually comes from this past General Conference.
Gerrit W. Gong, October 2023 General Conference wrote:When I ask local Church leaders what concerns them, both brothers and sisters say, “Some of our members are not accepting Church calls.” Calls to serve the Lord and each other in His Church give opportunity to increase in compassion, capacity, and humility. As we are set apart, we can receive the Lord’s inspiration to lift and strengthen others and ourselves. Of course, the changing circumstances and seasons of our lives may affect our ability to serve, but hopefully never our desire. With King Benjamin, we say, “If I had I would give” and offer all we can.
Which is a softening when compared to prior instruction. Local leaders are concerned with people declining callings. Gong doesn’t respond, “Well they gotta.” He presents callings and an opportunity to grow and says the lord can help us perform the calling.
I guess my point is that the culture of never turning down a calling is set and it will take effort to unset it.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.