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Hello, Is it theoretically possible for a new dad who is preparing to bless the baby even state unchallenged, “My wife is going to be holding the button half of the baby while I give the blessing”?. I can see that there would be some situations where the bishop would counter that (and maybe enough bishops got asked the question and always said “No” so the dads stopped asking) – but how often would that happen?
I remember freaking out with our firstborn. But the actual baby blessing was the least of my worries that day as we had a ton of collective anxiety about the blessing itself and dealing with extended family.
I am pretty sure that we treated the baby blessing of #2 more in line like a priesthood ordination. We borrowed the branch president’s office and completed the blessing after church with some family there. I don’t remember if I held our baby during the blessing (but probably? -and it would have been in the “I’m doing this” way and my husband and the leadership going along with it.).
Our church community tended to get mad at us because I stopped insisting on communal rituals being really public. We didn’t bother to announce to the general non-Primary group when our eldest was baptized (because we figured no one else wanted to be there in general). One of my social friends from RS was a little sad because she was actually planning to attend whenever it became a public event that she could put on her calendar, and that never happened.
AI says:
Quote:In LDS baby blessings, women are traditionally not part of the blessing circle or included in the ordinance itself. While the mother can often hold the baby, the ceremony is typically led by priesthood holders. However, some wards allow mothers to assist with the microphone or other support roles.
Here’s a more detailed explanation:
Priesthood holders:
The official blessing is performed by Melchizedek Priesthood holders.
Mother’s role:
Traditionally, the mother holds the baby while the priesthood holders bless it.
Assistance:
Some wards allow mothers to assist with the microphone or other support roles.
Bishop’s discretion:
The bishop has the authority to make decisions about how the ceremony is conducted, including the role of women.
No formal prohibition:
There is no formal rule prohibiting women from holding the baby during the blessing.
It is at the bishop’s discretion. I observe human nature that people like to be asked for things and can get defensive if it is perceived that things are being demanded. Therefore, I would be careful that the new husband’s words about the wife’s participation not come across as demanding.
On the other hand, when we were preparing to baptize my youngest son, Old Timer encouraged me to not ask for permission to perform the baptism but rather to just operate like it was a given that I would act in that role. However, there was significant tradition and inertia on my side. The bishop would have had to act to pump the breaks on the plans and risk upsetting the apple cart if he wanted to prohibit me.
There seems to be a good deal of diversity (inconsistency?) among local church leaders when it comes to blessing infants. When I blessed our daughter decades ago, I invited the participation of a brother of mine who, though an elder, had not darkened a church door in many years and who professed a definite dislike for the church. Then when my second granddaughter was born, my daughter called to inform me before we drove to Iowa for the blessing that I would need to bring eighter a current temple recommend or a letter from my bishop declaring my “worthiness.” The bishop of my daughter’s ward met with me prior to the meeting and carefully inspected my recommend (giving it greater scrutiny than airport security officials before boarding a flight). When I mentioned this to a priesthood leader in my own ward, he was amazed, saying that blessing an infant is not an ordinance after all, and that the bishop’s role is only to arrange meeting time for what is essentially a family affair. He said that it’s much like a “father’s blessing,” which a child can request anytime and which needs no approval from higher up. The handbook lists it as a priesthood ordinance, says it is performed by a MP holder, and says other MP holders form the circle. It says nothing about a mother or someone else holding the baby (just that the MP holders put their hands under the baby or on the head of an older child). In other words, a mother holding the baby is not officially authorized, but it also is not officially forbidden.
There is nothing that says the family can’t have their own ceremony, in any way they choose. It just won’t be a formal priesthood ordinance. Importantly, it also is not a “saving ordinance”, so it has no “binding” significance no matter how it is done.
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