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LookingHard wrote:
I feel for you AmyJ. I don’t know what I can do to help, but I do hope you find how to find a bit more peace.
Thank you
:wave: At times I am not sure what would be helpful. This board has been helpful so far because it reminds me I am not alone in being a divergent thinker.
To a certain extent, I am adapting this level of anxiety as my “new normal”. Children are very anxiety-inducing, and we spaced ours out for maximum worry phases (We will have a 6 year old and a teenager at the same time… and a 13 year old and a 19 year old at the same time…mind-boggling.]
At the end of the day, I think I am looking for the Lord’s peace throughout my life. To me, his peace is little pockets of calmness throughout the day – the way that chocolate chips are sprinkled throughout a chocolate chip cookie. [No disrespect intended by the triteness of the example.] I think most people could compare it to a golden thread in a woven cloth.
I’ve dealt with Anxiety and Depression for about 10 years now… It’s a tough thing to deal with. I don’t think the Church’s various approaches have been very helpful. Medication didn’t work (usually had awful side effects), and I tried everything. Priesthood blessings didn’t work. “Positive attitude” didn’t work much either. What really did it for me, was taking ice cold showers. I don’t know why it worked for me, but it did. I believe in them religiously (even if its painful at first). The Book of Mormon may or may not be true. But Cold Showers work miracles. Also the teachings of Buddhism have been an exceptional help. I love their outlook on life.
The most difficult thing with the Church, I find, is that it is impossible for most members/leaders to see outside their personal experiences. It’s easy to judge, when you think your experience is all their is. It’s even easier to come up with solutions. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
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