5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

I also disagree with this one:

5 – Unresolved conflict. Repentance, forgiveness and grace are all the process of becoming like Christ. Leaving when we experience conflict shortchanges our growth.

There are times when it’s better for your mental health, or your own activity and spirituality to distance yourself from conflict. Even when there is RESOLVED conflict, the former presence of that conflict can be a good reason for leaving a Ward and attending a different one. This is because you may perceive there is a likelihood of such conflict happening again, and you have enough going on in your life you don’t want to have to deal with it, or the trust level has been damaged to the point its not longer engaging to be in that particularly community.

For example, the bullying my daughter experienced repeatedly over several years — most of it got resolved through our one-on-one with a parent, and at one point, a structural change in the ward (we had a combined youth program with another Ward). However, the bullying destroyed the sense of community and engagement my daughter had with the church experience as a whole. So we went to a different Ward.

As another example, I personally have a mental set that makes it hard to forgive swiftly, and although I have tried to change it, I find it very difficult. If I find it is too draining to be around people who have been offensive, it is better for the healing process to get away from them and let memories fade over time. Time and distance has a way of dulling the hurt and pain, to the point I can eventually, after a period of years, interact with the offending person in a positive way again. [note, this is for deep offences, such as when I was a Young Adult, one of my church friends flew across the ocean to be with, and hopefully date my fiancee in another country, while we were actively engaged to be married. That was difficult].

I am not saying these are reasons for leaving the LDS Church as a whole, but they can be reasons for attending a different Ward.

I believe that inner peace is more important than personal growth, when the impact on inner peace becomes too much to handle.

SD – I think that’s an interesting point. I do tend to withdraw from relationships that bring drama into my life. That’s my threshold. If they zap energy or create drama, I don’t engage. If they are at least neutral in terms of those things, I generally don’t change what I do.