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Hi All, i was visiting my mother a few days back and found out a couple who had attended the ward i once regularly attended is leaving the church.
i almost couldn’t believe it. i attended with them for a short while in that ward but i moved away and hadn’t gone back for personal reasons.
i don’t want to say too much here because maybe they can join this site in the near future.
after i heard the news i told my mother i would be interested in talking to them, but not to solidify their staying out of the church but to do the opposite – to encourage them to stay, and to find out more about what brought them to the point where they made the decision to get out of the church.
i was recently invited to an LDS church priesthood broadcast(another ward) and honestly i wasn’t interested in going. i liked the inviter but i didn’t think i would have felt comfortable going. it has been a long while since i had been in that ward.
i didn’t feel like going for a few reasons. one is i haven’t really been living a typical mormon lifestyle. i am far from living the strict lifestyle that mainstream mormonism demands. and another was i know i’d be eating a big slice of guilty pie lol and I just didn’t want to sit and stew in guilt while watching the priesthood broadcasts. there are other reasons but the two above will have to do here for now.
the question i have to pose to any of you here is: what would you do if you had heard that someone had left the church, people you knew ? or does anyone here have experience of this exact thing – that is of talking to individuals or couples who have decided to leave the church ? again my purpose is not to solidify their decision but to let them know they aren’t alone in their feelings and there are places they can go online for support and, at the same time, share with them my testimony of things i believe about the church that I feel are true and good.
Please feel free to share your thoughts. Thanks.
Mike
I talk to those kind of people all the time 
In fact, I hang out with those kinds of folks on a regular basis where I live now, and have in other places we lived. If you were friends before, you might even have more in common now.
Just as a recommendation: don’t contact them with an agenda. You talked about helping them, or encouraging them to stay in the Church. Of course, that’s what this site is all about. But I find it much better to contact them as a friend with the agenda that you simple want to be their friend, and that you are open and curious about what happened (not judgmental). That kind of friend tends to be really appreciated!
Share your journey with them. Tell them the resources you found helpful. Listen to their stories. Listen to their journey.
BeLikeChrist wrote:Hi All,
the question i have to pose to any of you here is: what would you do if you had heard that someone had left the church, people you knew ?
It would depend on the nature of the friendship I had with them previously. If we had worked alongside each other, but had no real connection, I might not go. But if we had some good friendship previously, I think my visit would be interpreted more kindly. I like Brian’s idea of going just to talk and to understand.
I suppose deep down I would probably WANT to suggest the fact that name removal doesn’t accomplish much, and only limits options if a person wants to return to the Church some day, or if it turns out to be bona fide. I might do so if the conversation and feeling of the conversation led that direction. But I would just reach out.
When I had my second trial of commitment — when LDS Social services counselor, a member of our Bishopric told me we were rejected as a adoptive parents because there was too much risk of infidelity on my part (when I had lived a clean life up to that point, but had a sexually incapable wife), I was crushed, my testimony damaged, my Church meetings totally reinterpreted as I sat through them. My commitment fell dramatically. One friend called me and I dumped. Negative Negative Negative on the Church and its appendages. I said he probably thinks I’m apostate. I still remember him saying “I don’t care one bit how you feel about the Church right now — it’s YOU I care about”. He wanted to know how I was feeling, how I was coping, and to help me get through it.
He’s still my friend today and has influence over my thinking somewhat.
Anyway, my take.
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