- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I don’t post very often, but I do lurk around, gleaning supoprt and wisdom. I want to share a really positive experience. I’ve been on the fence the past year about what I want to do regarding the church, but I’m moving toward full inactivity as (long story short) I don’t think the LDS church is the place for me anymore. Anyway, I was out with one of my good friends on the weekend. She’s a true believer, but as she’s a mental health professional she’s seen a lot of craziness so she’s not quite as orthodox in her beliefs as some. So, she full out asked me what was up with me and the church. It made me nervous because I’ve been unsure how to ‘out’ myself to my LDS friends. But I saw it as an opportunity to state my position, so I very calmly said that I’d been struggling for sometime and that the church really wasn’t working for me anymore. I said that I had no intentions of ‘taking people with me’ and that I fully respect people of faith; I simply have a lot of questions about the nature of God, if there is one, so I’m not sure where I stand. And her response was awesome. She said:
“I just want you to know, no matter what happens, even if you have your name removed from the church records, we’re still going to be friends. Nothing’s going to change that.”
Wow! I’ve been really worried about what would happen, so I greatly appreciated her asking in the first place and then her friendship affirmation, and I told her as much. It’s not often that members will go there as it makes them uncomfortable. I guess I’m sharing this because I was so happy to know that maybe I’ll lose some friends, but at least I’ll have one of my favorite people on the ‘inside’ advocating for me!
Martine- Thank you for sharing. I am happy to hear that you have support from friends. I think anyone that is contemplating outing themselves worries about how they will be received and it is nice to know that their are some in the Church that will still be accepting. I’m happy to hear about your friend’s support, Martine. I think there are many more who would take that position than most think – but I also know there are many who would not. I’m truly happy for you. Same thing happened to me. The person who said it is still my friend after moving to another country and never seeing him for the last 7 years. We talk on the phone every month or so, often more often. He has more influence over my thinking than anyone. I know his loyalty transcends my Church involvement. Isn’t that what Christianity is all about? Good to hear, thanks for sharing. That’s great! We need more Christ-like love like that. 
I look at it the same way I look at my relationship with my own children. Whatever they decide to do with their lives, they will have my full love and support. And I have to imagine that if there is a Father in Heaven, He would feel very much the same way about us.
Thanks, all. I wanted to share because I find it really easy to get bogged down in the negative and always anticipate the worst possible outcome, so that experience really changed my thought process and reinforced the idea that “Hey! Maybe not everyone’s out to get me!”. (I have some extended family that I’m fairly certain will not behave so well, but meh, they’re family. They’re stuck with me.
😈 )Yes, it is always easy to see the worst possible outcome of any situation. When I was fresh on the journey all I could imagine is overwhelmingly negative reactions from everyone around me – even for the slightest questioning or lack of certainty. My bishop called me in, I didn’t want to go but I thought I should demonstrate that I was still a reasonable person. I also didn’t want to express solid conclusions, because even though I felt some at the time I recognized that views often change. Our conversation was very productive, I felt so much better after. I expressed a move toward non-literal interpretations of many things, I said I didn’t know what to take as literal and what to take as metaphorical. The good bishop said “Jesus taught many things in parables, didn’t he.” He also told me “you have done nothing wrong, we are supposed to ask questions.”
Then I started reading more of the spiritually liberal church leaders, and have become much more comfortable in church.
I hope you find many more of the good people that are out there!
What a great blessing Martine to find unconditional love. It is not easy to find in any church actually. You certainly discover who your true friends are.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.